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  1. #1
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    Demon (WIP)

    Ohmygosh! It's kinda silly how nervous I am posting this here... I'm a bit apprehensive that the style wont be well received or that I'm in the wrong place! But here goes nothing!

    This is a picture I've been working on on-and-off for about a week now. I've posted this one DA and Gaia looking for critique but found both of them lacking when it comes to quality feed back. This is loosely inspired by a pin-up pose I happened across soo.... yeah. Yay! Pin-up demons!

    original

    EDIT
    Okay, so, I reworked the pose quite a bit, emphasize the S curve throughout the picture, adjusted the angle of the head and attempted to make the sexy read more clearly. I'm still struggling with the far arm/hand but, I'll be doing some reference searching later to hopefully fix this problem. I think I want to go with her touching the side of her face... not sure. Suggestions would be loved.
    Name:  pin up deamon4.jpg
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    Last edited by asmith082010; May 20th, 2013 at 07:22 PM. Reason: Update
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  3. #2
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    Okay, first questions would be "1. what is she doing?" and "2. is it sexy?"
    The pose seems just a bit... "non committal" in the way that I'm not exactly sure what is it going for. On other hand you have this sexy come-hither look and she's dragging her panties down, but on the other hand she looks bit like she's posing kinda stiffly and less like she's genuinely as a character going to remove her panties (if that makes sense, kinda like an actual stripper vs someone you asked to pose like they're going to take their clothes off, the pose is lacking that "conviction") and her other hand, I have no idea what you were going for with it and judging from the fact that it looks like you first drew a fist and then tested adding one finger to be up, I have a feeling you don't know either.
    Here's a quick redline and this link should help you a lot if you wish to go for that sort of pin-up-ish look (and it might help you overall with posing) though fairly NSFW: http://babelab.blogspot.fi/search/label/pose%20analysis
    (rough redline on exaggerating the pose and changing the point of balance and I tried removing the "4" shape her legs made)
    Name:  redlinebabe.jpg
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    Other problems would be the anatomy of the feet and hand (the extended hand seems to have short and stubby Mickey Mouse cartoon hands, especially compared to her head size [the length of the hand is very roughly roughly the same as one's face] and it doesn't look as much like you drew feet and then shoes, but more that you draw this vaguely shoe-like tippy-toe form and added a spike to the heel) as well as the symmetry of the face, as you've drawn the lips and nose to look bit angled, but the horns look to be just copied flipped horizontally and thus don't share the same, ever so slight angle. Personally I'd change the head to not be as much from front, in a pose like that it too comes off stiff.

    Last edited by TinyBird; May 20th, 2013 at 02:36 AM.
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  5. #3
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    Nice critique TinyBird.

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    Thank you!

    Thanks so much for the feedback! This is probably the most comprehensive and helpful critique I've ever received.
    Looking at your readline in compassion to what I have I can diffidently see where things went awry. I'll work to fix what I can while keeping what I personal like about the piece.
    The only question I have is about the places you marked as tangents. I'm sorry to say I'm not really sure what that means. Is it a good quality or is it something I should work to correct? What exactly is a tangent when it comes to line art?

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    what?!

    So, somehow I ended up deleting my OP... lol.

    Anyways, here is the revised version. I reworked the pose quite a bit, emphasized the "S" curve throughout the picture and tried to make "sexy" read more clearly in her body language. I'm still struggling with the far hand/arm but, I think I have an idea. You can find the original HERE

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Size:  318.0 KB

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    A tangent is when two unrelated lines meet at the same point. It makes it look like they're supposed to be the same object but they're not. It's confusing so it should be avoided.

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    Thank you! I'll work to avoid it in the future.

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