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  1. #1
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    False God UPDATE 3/24- final

    The story behind this piece is that there is a goddess sitting on a pedestal in a shrine room revealing her true nature to the viewer for a moment.

    Behind her is going to be a mural of the goddess, who looks happy and peaceful with halos around her head. The figure on the pedestal is removing a mask from her shawl that looks just like the happy, smiling woman, and underneath is an unnatural black face with a glowing smile and eyes.


    I have two sets of thumbnails experimenting with different compositions and camera angles, and I'd love to know which ones people like the most, or whether I need to keep exploring ideas. One set is more of a straight-on viewpoint with more emphasis on the mural behind her, the other thumbnails take a lower camera angle and show more of the architecture of the shrine she's sitting in. Thanks for taking a look!

    Name:  thumbnailset1.jpg
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    Name:  thumbnailset2.jpg
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    Last edited by dwilliams; March 24th, 2013 at 11:59 AM.


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  3. #2
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    i like 2a

  4. #3
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    I like 2a. Gives us a mortal's view looking up at her, enough bg with the mural of what she's supposed to look like and then what she actually looks like.

  5. #4
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    Yooo,

    I like what you have explored so far. It's a good start but I wouldn't go with any one of these, maybe 1a or 1c - purely for composition - there's some nice layering going on in those two. What I would rather do is more exploration. Really push the design. Think about the story and what it implies, there's lots of drama there (dual/false identity). Subject matter like that is begging for DRAMA (the apex of tension). Your compositions convey the idea but it lacks drama. I can't feel the drama! The camera angle in 2c is the direction I think you should be pushing in...but more drama! Pushing the drama and pushing the design are the same thing.

    So, all in all, I'd say that you should explore more designs and put more feeling into it!

    Hope this helps

  6. #5
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    Here's another thumbnail. I've combined some of the elements from 2a and 2c to create what I think is a better composition. I went with a more dramatic camera angle to emphasize the figure and mural more, while keeping some of the architectural elements as well. In the foreground her fabric is flowing down the stairs/stand towards the viewer, with offerings of flowers and other items on top of it.

    Does everyone feel that with the larger mural in the background and offerings up front create more of a narrative/contrast with the evilness of the face? Like everyone in her village or temple believes she's a wonderous being, but with the black face and glowing eyes looking out of place, she secretly isn't?

    Name:  thumbnail7.jpg
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  7. #6
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    2a or your newest comp works for me. I'm liking the dutch angle, and the larger mural works for me. I do hope you keep the pillars, they help set the location.

  8. #7
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    The two in the foreground or background? I wasn't really able to fit the front two in the picture with the new angle.

  9. #8
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    the two in the foreground are working fine. I just meant in contrast to the top 3 comps

  10. #9
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    Here is what I have so far. I'm not sure what else I should do to the piece, so I'd love to hear everyone's opinions. Thanks!

    Name:  crit1.jpg
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  11. #10
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    some really nice things going on in this piece. A couple thoughts. The woman's hands feel very mannish and not very elegant, more than anything that index finger of her left hand looks like a middle finger of a man. I would play with slimming her up a bit in those areas. Her right arm looks a little off. I think it may be a bit of an illusion, but the way the robe is draping on her arm makes her humorous bone look broken. Do you see what I mean? Lastly, and this may be a personal opinion, but I feel her true face is over rendered. We see to much detail which destroys some of the mystery. I wouldn't mind just seeing glowing eyes and mouth. Oh one last thing I just saw, her foot suffers from the same thing her hands do, sort of a stubby, dwarvish feel but this overall character seems to be very sensual. Strive for that in all aspects of her.
    -start a revolution.

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  13. #11
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    Thanks for your feedback Daniel.

  14. #12
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    Here is what I have so far. I slimmed up the hands/fingers a bit, adjusted the mural in the background so the circle wasn't cut off at the top, adjusted the columns a little, and a bunch of other small stuff.

    Name:  crit2small.jpg
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    I couldn't get the highest quality image to fit within the file size requirements, so here is a link to a larger/sharper one if anyone wants to see it.

    http://dallasillustration.blogspot.com/

    Thanks for taking a look!

  15. #13
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    Hey that kicks ass!

    The update is better, but I still think the feet look too manly.

    Also the candles look skewed and not 3 dimentional

  16. #14
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    I like the hands, they seem to be the most developed aspect of this picture. It drew me into the mask.

    And he's right about the candles. The pillar is only seen from the bottom, so would the candles.

  17. #15
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    You're right I totally overlooked the perspective with the candles.

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