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Hello, My name is is Alex and I'm new to the comic art industry. I'm looking for constructive and helpful critiques. Posted below is some of my work. For more, please visit my website. Thanks,
Visit my gallery www.alexanderbeisel.com
Follow me http://www.facebook.com/pages/Alexan...41736109230965
This could be some bitter informations for you, but you have a long way to go. At your current level I can guarantee you that you wont find any professional clients with satisfying jobs. Right now you lack in the fundamentals of everything required to draw a comic (fundamentals/basics is often played down to beginners level, but I'd rather call it "_the_ thing to learn").
Put away photoshop for a while and get a pencil+paper. Start by reading all the books of Andrew Loomis to get some fundamental understanding for anatomy, visit nude drawing courses/ask friends to stay model for you and draw a lot from real life to fill your brain with all those forms. Especially make a lot of self portraits from every angle and under every possible light influence to gain some understanding for the forms you try to reconstruct. Stay black and white for the beginning, it's hard enough to understand how light and shadow interact, while color on top is another complex science. Make some still lifes (start with simple forms like triangles, quaders etc. then go over to apples, fruits or whatever item you pick up in your room).
Start a sketchbook here and people will eventually follow your progress and guide your through.
Comic drawing is way more challenging than most people think, usually you find that out when you've reached some experience with all the things comics combine - anatomy, color, environment together with a sense for emotional media design standing in conflict with composition (you might want to get books about emotional media design too, as well as how to draw comics/ how to set up interesting scenes).
Working on the fundamentals will help here.
Also, it's a good idea to post *one* image (or page) at a time in the Critique Center. Posting a whole bunch o' stuff with "tell me if this is any good" tends to draw generalized and non-specific advice--which in my experience is seldom very useful.
Looking at your website, I think you have good ideas for the stories, but the drawings are not so good. Seems that you are trying to mix inking with realistic painting, but it is my humble opinion. I think that you can get a better result using the process of comics colouring used at eighties or before. Look for "Bernie Wrightson" series named "Master of the Macabre", may be it can inspire you for the rendering/painting.
Also, I think it is possible to see some anatomy ptoblems, as in the frame where he tries to collect another gun while putting other inside the bag.
The black borders make it hard to assume that the third panel is in fact the third panel. When you try to force the reader to look down before turning left on the next row of panels, you have to make it very clear.
Making panel three have a black background has it blend into panel four, which also has a black background. Both are seperated by nothing but black borders, which makes it more confusing. It would have passed IF you weren't forcing the reader to break from the normal reading direction like that.
I think intentionally breaking direction can work, but you have to put alot of thought into it to make sure it's neither annoying or confusing.
The second page is just a confusing read. It takes me a few seconds of thought looking at panels 1, 4, and 6 to understand what I'm looking at. By the way, that's a giant gun on panel 3.
Last edited by Psychotime; February 21st, 2013 at 11:19 AM.
Looks like you use greys/blacks for the shadows on the skin which makes the character look a little dirty. Try using some more saturated colours for shadows like reds and browns it will make him feel more lifelike.
Hope it helps.
You need to study anatomy and practice drawing real people more, but I think you've been told this in your last thread already? Either way, right now I want to critique the composition of your comic pages. I did a quick redraw of them in order to show you what as wrong with their layout:
First of all, the third panel was placed in such a way that it appeared to be the fourth panel. Even if it didn't blend into the background, it sticks out in the tidy panel layout. I combined it with the second panel since you can see the chains on the door fine from a little distance. I didn't pay much attention to the textboxes though, which is why they're placed a little confusingly...
As for the second page - it was very hard to follow, I had to reread it a few times in order to understand what you were going for. In the first panel it's not clear that it's his robe he's hanging up - both its color and shape are all wrong, plus I hadn't even realized he'd taken it off. In order to make it clearer, the first panel now features him taking the robe off - and you can see it hanging on the rightmost side of the second panel. The second panel which has also made more clear - in the original version the gesture seems unnatural and uncomfortable, he seems to be reaching too high.
Also, you used too many panels to show him taking the guns - it's repetitive, confusing and yet I still didn't realize he'd taken ALL the guns until I'd looked at the last panel very carefully. The way I've done it minimizes the amount of panels needed and conveys the character's actions more clearly - you only need one panel to establish he has attached two+ guns on himself. I rather liked the pose of the last panel, but I changed it a little so it's more obvious that all of the guns are now gone. The reader's eye naturally moves from left to right - it moves to look at the figure's head in the last panel and ends up noticing the empty hooks along the way.
I hope this helps somewhat c: Generally you should doodle some thumbnails of the page's layout before you start on it - don't be afraid to go through quite a few versions before you settle on one you like. If you're not sure, you can always ask for critique on the thumbnails themselves.
Merged and cleaned up.
**Finished Work Thread **Process Thread **Edges Tutorial
Crash Course for Artists, Illustrators, and Cartoonists, NYC, the 2013 Edition!
"Work is more fun than fun."
"Art is supposed to punch you in the brain, and it's supposed to stay punched."
Plenty of good advice here already. However, I would say if you are going to write words. Be sure they are spelled correctly. "Absolutely" for example.