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Thread: Revision

  1. #1
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    Revision

    I "stopped" looking at this a few days back, now I want a second eye on it before I trash it and start again from scratch. Please tell me whats working and whats not working. I'd like to try all 7 deadly sins before years end. I am attempting a few new things, have started using line-work again to some degree. Here's What I worked up. It doesn't feel natural to me at all. Your consideration and advice, as always, is much appreciated.

    Name:  SLOTH5C.jpg
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  3. #2
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    I suppose my initial reaction is that nothing about it feels especially "slothful." If I were art-directing this I'd say "come up with something that expresses the "sloth" concept better."

    Other than that, it looks OK to me except for the fact that her arms are incredibly long. (I'm not a fan of the giant inflato-boobs either but I suppose that's a stylistic choice.

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    I agree with Giacomo. It seems you were going for a person with stuff growing on her, but it doesn't really fit with her position. Perhaps if she were lying down instead - it would look like she's been lying there for so long that she's been nearly swallowed up by the plants around her.

    For this image specifically - she's missing her lower legs. Even if they're supposed to be blocked from view by her thighs, at least her feet should still be visible at this angle.

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  7. #4
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    In english at least, sloth means to be very wasteful of time, to loaf aimlessly, considered a deadly and corrupting sin in the ancient world.
    wiki says that another word with a rather different meaning, used interchangeably in some cultures used translate be dejection, the discription of which sounds more like chronic depression to me. a bit harsh to call that a sin, but bible people and their bronze age medicine, whadyagonnado?
    In any case, I guess the picture of a sad person locked in place by bonds of despair is kind of hwat youve drawn. but the stick poking out her head i dont get at all.
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  9. #5
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    I checked and in my language it either means being lazy or being a human parasite :p

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    I'm not really understanding the branch out of the head part either. Not much of it really resonates with me as "sloth". If you wanted to go with the whole "becoming a tree" theme, I think it could be cool to have like some sort of tree trunk where a person is half imprisoned inside of it. Still, it would be hard to think of "sloth" even if you did do that. Seems you picked a pretty hard sin to start with

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  12. #7
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    how can this be a sin??
    Revision
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  14. #8
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    I second the comment that some of her lower leg should be visible from this angle, at least her left (our right) foot.

    There are some other anatomy issues as well - for example her left (our right) arm appears to connect to her neck, and aside from the fact that her breasts look like melons, and one is higher than the other. Even if she's lifting her shoulder, it wouldn't have that drastic of an effect. The connection point of the breasts is also oddly high on the torso. And the legs' connection to the pelvis could use some work. Reference, reference, reference.

    Revision

    Revision Revision

    Revision

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  16. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by dolmen View Post
    I "stopped" looking at this a few days back, now I want a second eye on it before I trash it and start again from scratch.
    If you do decide to do this again from scratch, I highly recommend doing some more in-depth exploration of the concept. Like others have noted, I do not get the purpose of the tree/stone outgrowths, or why they develop into monster hands. I also find it hard to believe that this is the most interesting gesture and camera angle that you can use - did you develop a dozen ideas with thumbnails, or jump right into this?

    In terms of what's working, I do mostly like the color palette - especially the figure having blue skin. However, I don't think that these are necessarily the best colors for the theme you're working with. The strong reds and blues clash to create a sense of tension - sort of the opposite of what I'd imagine 'sloth' to be. Be sure to do several color thumbs on the next one as well. Have a clear theme and mood in mind, and let those dictate the color scheme. It's great to see that you're not afraid to be adventurous with the color choice.

    For future pieces, I highly recommend finding or shooting good references after you have settled on a thumbnail+gesture. And for my own sanity, please look up how a pelvis works, particularly the forms of the iliac crest and how that connects to the external obliques, the glutes, and the legs.

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  18. #10
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    Thank you all for your VERY helpful input.

    I start to see clearer what I need to avoid in my next attempt. I wanted to start with sloth because it is very rare and quite controvertial. I did a few thumbs and believe it or not this was my idea of the best option. I clearly was not pushing my creative juices. I think sloth is something that only becomes a sin to ones nature at its utmost extreme, in my mind its not slothful to be a little lazy, its slothful to give up on life and dejectedly allow yourself to waste away.

    I think its clearer with the above observations that I need to get that emotion across better and the pose was not ideal nor was it accurate to human proportions (I tend to be a bit too generous with body parts I like, tis a terrible failing!). Each of the seven characters I hope to develope is a human on its way to becoming a demon of that particular sin. I will try this again, maybe come up with a better concept. Please keep the crits coming in!
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    And now the revision begins for sloth:

    Name:  SLOTH V2-2.jpg
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    As pointed out sloth is interchangeable with dejected behaviour. I am starting to see it as an opposite of gluttony. where gluttony is about appeasing need to its excess, sloth is denying that need to the harm of ones own well being.

    reading left to right, top to bottom:

    1. Here I imagined someone being so dejected they refuse eating and sleeping. she is snared but does not do anything about it, she is prone to the elements and to danger, completely disinterested in surviving.

    2. In the second image she simply stands still. she has stood that way long enough to have plants grow around her and inside her. the need to rest in this case is thoroughly ignored

    3. The third is a woman being attacked by a tree demon that distorts ones desire to struggle against an enemy. the orb mesmerizes her into a relaxed state of mind, thus she drops her weopon. here the woman isn't commiting the "sin". here the demon is amplifying apathy, so I guess its the sinner? no idea.

    4. my quickest of the lot. a young girl starves naked and alone. the apple is there but she ignores it. the body yearns for it regardless, you can see the hair creeping towards the apples as it grows. I like the sad undercurrents to this one.
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  20. #12
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    If you're going for sloth, why does it have to be an attractive woman, most pieces tend to lose their gravity with attractive women and huge porn boobs. If she's a sloth she wouldn't take care of herself which would mean no rock hard abs, not even slightly well kept hair, her teeth may be falling out, she would be dirty and fat. You want to exaggerate the worst of a sloths attributes.

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  22. #13
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    Also, your poses seem really off - she looks like a model that's been posed. Especially the first one - you REALLY wouldn't be able to keep that pose for any length of time. Think of more zombie-like postures!
    If she's starving, she'd be way thinner than that, anyway - ribs and hips sticking out, barely any stomach OR breasts, etc.

  23. #14
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    "If you're going for sloth, why does it have to be an attractive woman?"

    Totally agree, its like youre doing a Sloth pin up which is confusing. Sloth to me means giant fatties who never do anything, not supermodels.. my 2c.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Velocity Kendall View Post
    "If you're going for sloth, why does it have to be an attractive woman?"

    Totally agree, its like youre doing a Sloth pin up which is confusing. Sloth to me means giant fatties who never do anything, not supermodels.. my 2c.
    I think anorexic represents sloth better.

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