I am trying to find ways to fix the issues on this page. I am happy with the temple and the chains, though I just cannot get the cracked and broken aspects of the temple looking right. I am also wondering how to improve the mountains.
Right. Visually, your mountains and detail (cracks) are a jumble of shapes in comparison to the clean structure of the temple and chains (where you're using geometric lines to illustrate shading of some sort). Then there's the organic gradient heart thing in the middle with veins. Most of the elements are fighting with each other rather than complimenting.
So I'd actually just take a step back and ask what needs to be in the frame. Do you need the mountains? Do you need the stars? What needs to be said and what's the best way to say it?
I think we'll actually need more information about the illustration and it's relation to the content on the page to get a better idea of what you're aiming for. Is this a 1/4 page illustration?
In terms of possible solutions for improving what's there. Try a black background on the piece and creating the silhouette of the mountains with a white stroke and no extra triangles in them. Change the heart to a single color and remove the drips. Change the typeface to something similar to what you used for the logo (not the same).
Last edited by prepsage; February 17th, 2013 at 01:02 PM.
Essentially its a visual response to the authors chapter. Where he describes elements such as a temple and a dark beating heart inscribed with 333. It is pretty much the authors descent into hell. He talks of a hellish landscape and twisted rivers (I tried to include this as an element that was coming down from the mountains that just did not work) with a deamonic barge filled with abominations.
The elements that were the most potent to me was the temple and the heart. I was trying to experiment and have the heart in a bold color which stood out from the black and white temple.
So I guess the elements that need to stay are the temple (eye included) the heart, and the chains. Also the ruin aspect of the authors temple falling into disrepair.
The idea for the mountains, was for the temple to be the right page image and the mountains to carry on to the left page where it would serve to break the page up for the placement of text.
I have to say I have never really illustrated beyond a couple of logos and bad drawings. So alot of this is a learning experience for me......
I have not put it on a spread yet (been doing interview prep last week), but I have taken your advice and simpliflied the drawing. I have tried to keep elements in the temple consistent, though I admit the heart I have not had a chance to change yet, I am also playing with ways to show the breakage.
I have not put it on a spread yet (been doing interview prep last week), but I have taken your advice and simplified the drawing. I have tried to keep elements in the temple consistent, though I admit the heart I have not had a chance to change yet, I am also playing with ways to show the breakage.