What's wrong with my composition?
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Thread: What's wrong with my composition?

  1. #1
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    What's wrong with my composition?

    I did everything on the edge of my current technical skill level, but for some reason this drawing doesn't 'click' with me, something's not right, but I don't know what. Can anybody help me? This is the lineart: http://imgur.com/a7e7uSS I think it looks good. So maybe it's something with how I distributed my light and dark areas?

    Example of my earlier work that clicked really well with my eyes: http://i.imgur.com/n6R2Tti.jpg

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  2. #2
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    it feels like there is a fisheye effect or everything is leaning on the left hand side. you may want to throw a perspective grid on there to spot the mistakes.

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  3. #3
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    The same as cfhd, it seems that we are looking to the street through a lens... if it is your real intention, you should work more to fix the perspective... a link for your reference

    http://www.elgigi.fr/virtual_visit.jpg

    best regards

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  4. #4
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    I think you could use wider spectrum of values. Drawing should have both pure white areas as well as pure black ones. I allowed myself to check and correct levels on your drawing. I think it looks better. What do you think?

    Cheers,
    St.

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  5. #5
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    pauloricardo, Thanks for that reference!

    stan-c, I tried different contrasts in Photoshop, and I'm starting to think it's because I have too many whites and not too many blacks, plus they were all scattered across the paper. Take a look at these:

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  6. #6
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    Make the structures stand straight and not lean inward. Stan-c did a good job. I would push the background buildings even more in photoshop

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  7. #7
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    All of the above. Definitely push the values - everything's looking pretty dreary to me.
    I also suggest that you add some detail to the first building on the left; it's all empty and meanwhile, all of your detail seems concentrated in the background parts of the picture, where it's not so important.
    I can live with the crooked angle of the houses, but I'll have you know that if a fish-eye effect was what you intended, you should exaggerate it more, and if you didn't, you should straighten things up, because the walls don't only look slanted but also bent to me.

    Continue the critique at Deviant Art
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  8. #8
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    There are two problematic areas:

    Drawing
    Before you can go into values you should construct your drawing in perspective, at least somewhat accurately. This is a fairly easy scene to construct. Most of the lines down the street are parallel, converging towards a single vanishing point:

    Name:  perspective.jpg
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    Value/Composition

    Doing contrast/levels on established haphazard value structure can only make things worse. You're going in the right direction in your post #5. Useful thing to do would be to split your image into decided areas of light and shadow. Once this is done you have your basic value composition in place. Here I split the image into three distinct value ranges:

    Black to dark - everything that is not lit by sunlight
    Light to white - everything that is lit by sunlight
    Medium - sky

    Name:  values.jpg
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    Once you have this in place you can work the details in each area. The important thing here is not to go outside the predetermined range. So if you're detailing the shadow areas, always keep your values in black-dark range. No matter how bright you think something should be. Never use values from other two ranges.

    Last edited by LaCan; February 13th, 2013 at 06:45 AM. Reason: typos
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