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Thread: Iris

  1. #1
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    Iris

    Okay, I've been working on this for some time, working out as many problems as I could by myself. This is still just the sketch phase and I've changed things multiple times. Please bear in mind that the lighting isn't done completely here as that'll be on the next layer. This is currently acrylic on canvas, next will be oils. Is there anything glaringly obvious left I've missed?

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    I guess the shoulder of the arm grabbing the leg should perhaps jut a bit more forward since right now her arm looks to me to be a bit lanky I also believe you missed out on the land mark produced by the clavicles. I am not so sure if this is much of a concern but I am not exactly sure what she is doing with the other arm and I THINK that she maybe slightly off balance. Overall I like the look of the piece as well as the composition and most of it was me nit-picking with my poor observational skills .
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    I'd be careful with her left knee. It looks a bit too much like a plate. It should blend in more smoothly with the rest of the leg, and I think we should see more of the underlying bone structure. The same goes for the other one, but it's not as apparent there. I think it would help if her left hand held something to explain why it's up in the air like that. Perhaps a stalk or a leaf.
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    I agree, the knees are a bit nobbly, where they could be more streamlined. also rule of thumb with daisy type flowers, theres always a line that runs from the tip through the middle of the base to the centre of the flower structure. theyre a bit wobbly atm. I would edit her front teeth down a bit, but i remember them from the previous image so i guess thats just accuracy to the model. still, maybe knock them back a bit to flatter your subject. doesnt have to be warts and all.
    Iris
    Its jolly nice tho.
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    This is looking good.

    The giant daisies at lower right feel like they're overwhelming the picture compositionally--and as V. Kendall notes, they're also sort of awkward and asymmetrical. Given the overall scale of detail on the rest of the picture, I'd consider replacing them with something less...blunt and aggressive. Probably a collection of smaller and more delicate forms.

    As for the figure: her pose feels a bit cramped and uncomfortable, but I'm not sure if that's just because your foreshortening is a bit clumsy at the moment. If it were me, I'd go in with some kind of drawing tool (Prismacolor wax pencils work well for this, and don't bleed through too much when painted over with oils) and really nail down the contours before proceeding. There's just a million places here where closer observation of your reference photo will "sell" the 3D form much better than is happening now.

    As always, just my two cents.

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    Thanks guys

    Quote Originally Posted by kamikazel33t View Post
    I guess the shoulder of the arm grabbing the leg should perhaps jut a bit more forward since right now her arm looks to me to be a bit lanky I also believe you missed out on the land mark produced by the clavicles. I am not so sure if this is much of a concern but I am not exactly sure what she is doing with the other arm and I THINK that she maybe slightly off balance. Overall I like the look of the piece as well as the composition and most of it was me nit-picking with my poor observational skills .
    The wrist looks like it needs more work and that might sort out the arm problem. Her clavicle isn't prominent, but that whole shoulder is badly toned.

    Quote Originally Posted by tobbA View Post
    I'd be careful with her left knee. It looks a bit too much like a plate. It should blend in more smoothly with the rest of the leg, and I think we should see more of the underlying bone structure. The same goes for the other one, but it's not as apparent there. I think it would help if her left hand held something to explain why it's up in the air like that. Perhaps a stalk or a leaf.
    The knee should be sorted on the next layer. As to the raised arm, it sort of raises questions and that I like. Everytime I tried to change it, it just looked wrong.

    Quote Originally Posted by Velocity Kendall View Post
    I agree, the knees are a bit nobbly, where they could be more streamlined. also rule of thumb with daisy type flowers, theres always a line that runs from the tip through the middle of the base to the centre of the flower structure. theyre a bit wobbly atm. I would edit her front teeth down a bit, but i remember them from the previous image so i guess thats just accuracy to the model. still, maybe knock them back a bit to flatter your subject. doesnt have to be warts and all.
    The daisy lines will be sorted on next layer. This is still the rough drawing. Saves image for additional reference. I will tone the teeth down. Agreed - this isn't a portrait and I'm not a slave to the reference and will push it more.

    Quote Originally Posted by Giacomo View Post
    This is looking good.

    The giant daisies at lower right feel like they're overwhelming the picture compositionally--and as V. Kendall notes, they're also sort of awkward and asymmetrical. Given the overall scale of detail on the rest of the picture, I'd consider replacing them with something less...blunt and aggressive. Probably a collection of smaller and more delicate forms.

    As for the figure: her pose feels a bit cramped and uncomfortable, but I'm not sure if that's just because your foreshortening is a bit clumsy at the moment. If it were me, I'd go in with some kind of drawing tool (Prismacolor wax pencils work well for this, and don't bleed through too much when painted over with oils) and really nail down the contours before proceeding. There's just a million places here where closer observation of your reference photo will "sell" the 3D form much better than is happening now.

    As always, just my two cents.
    I'll be bringing the flesh up a lot more and knocking the flowers down. I'm 2 hours away from an art shop.

    Just to show you where I'm going (and this is a portrait - same girl) this is a study I did to help me with this picture and try stuff. I've just started colouring, but you should get the gist. Took me ages to get this stage as well.

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    If I get a snow day tomorrow I'll work on the suggestions otherwise it'll be next weekend.

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    I like the nostalgic look you got going here. I especially like her face and intense expression and the flowers in the background. As some of the other posters mentioned I think that it looks very strange the way she holds up her arm like that. It looks a bit like an awkvard wave. A more relaxed position would probably be better or as suggested give her something to hold in her hand. I also think that the daisys are dominating the picture to much and creates a large, bright squarish shape in the corner.

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    Right I decided to tackle most of the suggestions digitally to see how things would work out. I'm probably only going to change the hand on the picture and deal with the rest on the next layer. so please bear with me. It's a pretty bad digital rendition, but I hope you get the gist. BTW, she will have more of a smile and not look so fierce.

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    sorry i dont like the new hand at all.
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    Worse than before eh? Would you change it at all? - this is why I'm mucking around digitally first.

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    yep one sec, im doing a horrible PO.

    meantime this ight be of interest. BACKWARDS WORLD!!!!

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    ok this totally sucks, but i tried to de-Goldblumise her face a little and give her hand something to do.. need ELwell or someone to help with the anatomy, its a whole world i know jack about.
    put whatever up where the darwin bust is, maybe a big vase, maybe a mans calf, i dunno.


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    Would the jug at the bottom enlarged be better? Maybe have the water running doing her arm. It's meant to be Grecian, but I could do more research. Goldblum? Gee, thanks. (You are so dead - he's a friend so it's okay.)

    My reference might have something to say about that .

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    Or maybe not...

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    It's very messy but here is what I would have done.
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    Here are a couple quick visual suggestions for the upper legs and hip area, as well as her right arm. I bent her left hand to lightly grasp the leaf.

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