A vampire suicide
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  1. #1
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    A vampire suicide

    I'm asking for community help again. Here is my new painting, without reference. I need to have your feelings and advices about it. I've tried to improved color wise but I'm still not sure about it.

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    Jup, references are your friend. It's alright, not too bad, her hands are tiny and her whole pose is kinda stiff.
    The composition is dull, did you do thumbnails? Did you do previous reserach, f.e. for roofs or morning light? You really don't have to pull everything out of your memory.

    That Sabbat graffiti - the sabbat is a hyper-brutal band of vampires, I would figure they would leave a bigger mark than just a tiny graffiti on the wall... like the remains of a busload of school children .

    Last edited by Kiera; December 7th, 2012 at 10:39 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiera View Post
    Jup, references are your friend. It's alright, not too bad, her hands are tiny and her whole pose is kinda stiff.
    The composition is dull, did you do thumbnails? Did you do previous reserach, f.e. for roofs or morning light? You really don't have to pull everything out of your memory.

    That Sabbat graffiti - the sabbat is a hyper-brutal band of vampires, I would figure they would leave a bigger mark than just a tiny graffiti on the wall... like the remains of a busload of school children .
    Nope, no thumbnail, but a graphite sketch. And I fear you're very right about composition, I wanted to do it very simpleand effective but the effective part is missing.....
    I'm wondering how you would have done the pose less stiff. I feel you're right but I fail to imagine how to correct it. Any idea?
    About the Sabbat, well, seems there is some Vampire player here, nice you saw the reference. ;-) Maybe I should redo it in red with driping paint....

    Last edited by StefRob; December 7th, 2012 at 02:39 PM.
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    Do a structural drawing of the same scene, in perspective. You are making guesses about everything instead of building the scene, and most of your guesses are wrong. Work tighter!

    Better yet, do a couple dozen thumbnail doodles to figure out the best composition for this topic, before you re-sketch. Your composition is not really working.

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    Quote Originally Posted by arenhaus View Post
    Do a structural drawing of the same scene, in perspective. You are making guesses about everything instead of building the scene, and most of your guesses are wrong. Work tighter!

    Better yet, do a couple dozen thumbnail doodles to figure out the best composition for this topic, before you re-sketch. Your composition is not really working.
    I know my perspective is wrong (well, to use your very right words, my perspective guesses) Problem is I can't see how to do it, how is supposed to be when the painting takes place on a building roof without horizon to set the perspective? Would you mind drawing a quick sketch? It would be a big help.
    Excepted those evident flaws, I'd like your output about the color of this painting in general. Does it work for you?

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    Horizon = eye level with the viewer. So if the viewer (camera) is her height, the imaginary horizon would cut through behind her eyes. If we were sitting down and our eyes were level with her elbow, horizon would be at elbow. If we're taller or hovering higher than her, ditto. (Here is a tutorial with some rules of thumb for figures in perspective that's semi-relevant.) But this is one of the first things most perspective books teach you, so really I'd recommend just picking one up and going through it. The best one I've found for really understanding perspective for beginners is Perspective! for Comic Book Artists -- only 14 euros and a very fun book.

    But I think proportions are really the thing to concentrate on first. (And colour is good to leave until much later, unless you're especially interested in it now. Making the colour better wouldn't improve this drawing as much as getting your proportions solid.) The main thing, as mentioned, is the small hands. Hands are actually pretty big -- they cover your whole face. I think your head is also a bit big for the body, which exaggerates the difference between it and the hands. Memorise Loomis proportions: male/female (male is simpler, so you might want to start there). Also check out this tutorial for drawing the body -- it has tips for how to remember proportions, see section IV.

    The next thing to learn in order to make this piece powerful is dynamic poses. Right now, she's standing almost totally straight, just with her arms out a little. It could look a lot more alive if she were bending back or twisting or something. The pose also feels a little 'forced' -- like, she's pointing both of her palms towards us, which actually you'd have to be quite intentional about if you did that pose in real life. Her body is facing mostly to the right, but then her head and hands are facing us, as if she's trying to communicate with us, but I'm not sure what she's trying to communicate. It looks as though she's burning in the sun, but why? Is she in pain? Is she enjoying it? Is she relaxed, or tense? I can't tell by her expression and pose as they are.

    The colours are decent. You've got some fairly strong edges going on around the dress and the wall which make it look a bit cut-out and make the dress look a bit dead-space-y. You may want to darken the values of the shaded ground/wall and/or lighten the part at the bottom of the dress. I like that you've chosen subdued colours, and it looks as though you've mixed in a range of hues into the skin, as one should. You've done well to give yourself plenty of room to saturate key ares (like her lips and/or the dress) if you like -- could make it pop.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lulie View Post
    Horizon = eye level with the viewer. So if the viewer (camera) is her height, the imaginary horizon would cut through behind her eyes. If we were sitting down and our eyes were level with her elbow, horizon would be at elbow. If we're taller or hovering higher than her, ditto. (Here is a tutorial with some rules of thumb for figures in perspective that's semi-relevant.) But this is one of the first things most perspective books teach you, so really I'd recommend just picking one up and going through it. The best one I've found for really understanding perspective for beginners is Perspective! for Comic Book Artists -- only 14 euros and a very fun book.
    Thanks for your critics. I think that the main point is that I have to buy a good book about perspective. I've been avoiding this part since I've started to draw again half a year ago now thinking I could work around by practicing by myself (I've been self taught so far). But I realise it is really prejudicial to my improvement. Thanks again for those excellent advices.

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