What would you do?
Join the #1 Art Workshop - LevelUpJoin Premium Art Workshop

Results 1 to 16 of 16

Thread: What would you do?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    199
    Thanks
    156
    Thanked 11 Times in 8 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0

    Question What would you do?

    Hi,

    I recently picked up this image that I started about a year ago, and started adding some detail and lighting, but after taking a step back I don't think that the eye is led through the image very well.

    So, my question is: What would you do with this image?

    Name:  overgrown city 21.png
Views: 577
Size:  410.7 KB

    Thank you for rlooking,

    Chris.

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    United States, TX
    Posts
    310
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked 118 Times in 98 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Get rid of that tower in the middle, it's kind of destroying any composition you have.

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  3. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to David_a_ray For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    277
    Thanks
    59
    Thanked 153 Times in 98 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Hi

    I have a few thoughts,take them with a grain of salt. First there are three big things that drag my eye to them, none of which is, I assume, the focal point. 1st is the big white hole in the sky. 2nd is the big half-dome that doesn't fit any of the other architecture, 3rd is the tree on the left and the patch of grass under it. The tree and the grass seem most possible as a spot to rest my eye on, but why do I care about a patch of grass?

    Other thoughts - that drain pipe and water are there, I assume, to pull my eye down to the campsite. But if the city is behind him, why is there a drain on his left? And why bother if you're dumping it into the stream - a resident would, I imagine, just have the drain run directly into the lake. His campfire - it is bright daylight 20 feet from him, and clearly bright enough for vegetation to grow, warm enough that everything but the tree (why?) is green, so why does he need the fire?

    Getting back to composition, do you want him to be the focal point? Make him more visible..

    Hope that helps

    D'Arcy

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to justa For This Useful Post:


  6. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    199
    Thanks
    156
    Thanked 11 Times in 8 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Thank you all! I need to go back to thumbnails on this one I think and then probably chop it up and put it back together again. Originally, there was no man by the fire, and the lighting was more muted. The tower was the center of attention, but the whole thing was kinda boring... I'll post back here when I have explored things a bit more.

    In the meantime, please let me know if you have any opinions!

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  7. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Norway/UK
    Posts
    55
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 15 Times in 13 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Maybe too many color palettes going on all over the place. I think the central building makes sense, but should be much smaller. At the moment it just leads the eye out of the frame. Maybe the backdrop area should be all bluer rather than just a bit of blue around the hole.
    Also, too much is going on, too many focal points. Doesnt make it very appealing, as a result i failed to notice the tent campfire thing, and the beautiful spot below the tree. What is your center of attention? Remember that strong contrast draws the eye. At the moment the strongest contrast is maybe that water coming out, completely wrong place to focus as it contains no relevant detail. I would remove that feature allthogether. If the campfire guy is important, he should probably be more central to the frame and have more contrast around him. If the tree is the focus, it should probably not be so far to the left of the frame. And if the tower is the focus then it should probably not be aligned so centrally.
    I would probably tear down the two buildings, and instead replace them with a tree-type thing going over the river. The logs are well places as center for attention, with the water running, and strong contrast with the background. Maybe you would want to move the second or make a third hole above for casting light in that spot instead. I would also add some weak textures to the entire image, to avoid entirely smooth areas such as the background images. It would also be nice with some very weak details int he foreground vegetation/people.

    Good job anyway!

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  8. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to PaleBluePixel For This Useful Post:


  9. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    199
    Thanks
    156
    Thanked 11 Times in 8 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Heres a round of thumbs of varying quality. I think I'm probably going to leave the guy and the campfire out of it and just go for a ruined city as I originally intended.

    Name:  Thumbnail-Frames.png
Views: 381
Size:  384.1 KB

    Please comment. I'll probably be doing more thumbs before starting to work it up again.

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  10. #7
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    England
    Posts
    1,867
    Thanks
    896
    Thanked 936 Times in 803 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Hi chris

    I read through the thread and thought of this - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doteMqP6eSc - Its about 8 mins long and is very high quality animation, enjoy.

    I looked at this anim and thought of your guy camping in an old storm drain thing that they have over in there states. Your guy could be camping simply for fresh water or whatever, either way he gives a scale for the rest of the image with the thing in the middle as a broken bridge support or ... er something.

    anyway I hope this gives you some ideas ora direction to go in and play.

    all the best mate

    A great kind hearted lumbering bullock



    http://conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=209918 = my Sketchbook
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to Lightship69 For This Useful Post:


  12. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    199
    Thanks
    156
    Thanked 11 Times in 8 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Thank you for all the suggestions and comments!

    Adrian: Thank you for the really constructive crit. I definitely need to get the flow of the eye right around the picture - that was the main reason I was dissatisfied with it I think.
    That video was awesome Lightship! I like the idea of the guy actually camping within a storm drain. I might play about with that a bit.

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  13. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    199
    Thanks
    156
    Thanked 11 Times in 8 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Oops. forgot to post last nights thumbnails...

    Name:  Thumbnail-Frames-2.png
Views: 290
Size:  470.2 KB

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  14. #10
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Maine, USA
    Posts
    574
    Thanks
    677
    Thanked 1,064 Times in 398 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Hey Chris! How's it going? It's been a while. Still doing good stuff I see. Here are my comments, verbose as usual.

    Oh, first, let's look at these all together and number them.

    Name:  Thumbnail-Frames_All.jpg
Views: 278
Size:  122.4 KB

    #1 seems like a rather clumsy warm-up thumbnail, but It does have some good things going on; I like the multiple columns going back in space, and the slight diagonal movement of the land mass. And with one side open, it's much less symettrical than the others.

    #2 doesn't do anything for me. I think there's a bunch of little reasons why. The dark foreground elements on either side are two symmetrical, the sharp-edged light beams are distracting and too UFO-like, The cliff on the left looks out-of-place, and the light on the focal elements is just not interesting enough to pull it all together.

    #3 I'm not particularly attached to, but I like the structures that look sort of Utah-arch-esque, or like some weirdly-shaped stone ruin.

    #4 I like the riverbank path zig-zagging forward. And the hut-on-stilts architecture is kinda nice, but not particularly original, and I'm not sure it quite fits with the environment. It seems like more of a solid, rocky landscape, rather than a swamp.

    #5 I really like the light. That beautiful glow coming through the ceiling, reflecting off the water. I think it's better for not having the distinct beam effect that you have in others. And I like the more grim, muted colors, but that's just me.

    #6 is actually quite nice, but I think it needs a little extra something. It's almost, not quite, got the light and colors of #5, and that color accent on the tower is good. You get a good sense of the huge space of the cavern in this one, seeing the dome of the ceiling going back in space.

    #7 . . . I'm not sure what to say about #7. It just bores me. It has an obvious value vocal point, but there's nothing really interesting there.

    #8 is pretty good. It seems to have the most story behind it. That big wall with the silhouetted tower on it looks really forbidding, and I like the little guy. The hanging vine things add another point of interest too, though I would like them better if I knew they weren't just run-of-the-mill jungle vines. I can imagine that they are huge, meter-thick ropes, slowly slithering up behind that person, engulfing the landscape or something. Which would be cool.

    #9 I like the best of all the almost-square ones. It has more depth and is a bit more moody than the others.


    Overall I definitely like the long horizontal format better than the almost-squares. But then, squares are notoriously hard to compose in.

    Watch how you handle the corners—try to do something a little different in each corner, don't cut them all off with a dark triangle. Some of the squarish compositions almost get a dark circle around them, which, unless you're looking through a monocular doesn't do you any favors.

    Try a little different perspective maybe? The only one that has actual orthogonals happening is #1, the others just have a horizontal wall running through them. What if that wall was closer at one end or the other, or above, or below.

    And think about what mood you are going for. Do you want warm and sunny, or a bit grim and threatening? Or something else. Color is doing a lot with these, but if you look at them in grayscale, the angle of the light makes a big difference too (a silhouette or backlight is more ominous than light in front).

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  15. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Mr. Corlan For This Useful Post:


  16. #11
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Maine, USA
    Posts
    574
    Thanks
    677
    Thanked 1,064 Times in 398 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Some inspiration maybe - Stephan Martiniere, what a jerk. http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8...crxo1_1280.jpg

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  17. The Following User Says Thank You to Mr. Corlan For This Useful Post:


  18. #12
    OmenSpirits's Avatar
    OmenSpirits is offline Commercial-Illustrator in-training, NOT an artist. Level 13 Gladiator: Retiarius
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Birth Place of the World, NYC
    Posts
    2,826
    Thanks
    2,622
    Thanked 1,042 Times in 680 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    What would I do?

    Watch the end of Akira to get a good idea of how to pull this off.



    "Everything must serve the idea. The means used to convey the idea should be the simplest and clear. Just what is required. No extra images. To me this is a universal principle of art. Saying as much as possible with a minimum of means."
    -John Huston, Director
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  19. The Following User Says Thank You to OmenSpirits For This Useful Post:


  20. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    199
    Thanks
    156
    Thanked 11 Times in 8 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Hi Mr Corlan!

    Its good to see you again :o) thank you for the in depth critique! I have to say I agree with pretty much all you said, and I'll keep hammering away at this until I find something that works. Actually putting the advice into action is proving difficult though lol.

    I was not aware of Stephan Martiniere, but he does appear to have done some stunning stuff (as well as working on the 5th Element which is one of my all time favourite movies visually).

    OmenSpirits: I don't own Akira (although I have watched it once). I seem to remember the ending involving a massive wtf mutation but not much more than that.. I'll have to look it out :o)

    Anyway, here are some more thumbs. Can't really work out if they are any good at the moment because the baby is screaming.. I've tried to add in more orthogonals.

    Name:  Thumbnail-Frames-3.png
Views: 227
Size:  520.4 KB

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  21. #14
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    277
    Thanks
    59
    Thanked 153 Times in 98 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    I'm still really liking #5 from Mr Corlan's post myself - just something about it that calls to me

    cheers

    D'Arcy

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  22. #15
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    199
    Thanks
    156
    Thanked 11 Times in 8 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Well, I did some more work on #5. Its not what I was originally envisioning but I do quite like it so far.

    Name:  underground1.png
Views: 121
Size:  401.5 KB

    Comments please?

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  23. #16
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    199
    Thanks
    156
    Thanked 11 Times in 8 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    I've added more of a focal point now...

    Name:  abandoned-city1.png
Views: 88
Size:  412.0 KB

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

Members who have read this thread: 0

There are no members to list at the moment.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •