Newborn vampire WIP
Join the #1 Art Workshop - LevelUpJoin Premium Art Workshop

Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Newborn vampire WIP

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    343
    Thanks
    44
    Thanked 65 Times in 48 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0

    Newborn vampire WIP

    I've been staring myself blind at this piece now.
    Please critique the heck out of it.



    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Winter Park, Florida
    Posts
    9
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    I think the pose her hand is in looks a bit strange. Kind of like she's giving a thumbs up instead of what I'm assuming to be her pricking her thumb with her fangs.
    I feel like the angle of it might be a bit off as well. It seems like its facing a bit too outward.

    I'm also not sure butts work like that.

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Sewithrow For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Sussex
    Posts
    2,547
    Thanks
    102
    Thanked 1,477 Times in 731 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Ohhhh...I didn't pick up on that until Sewithrow pointed it out. I get it now.

    Her teeth seem to be facing almost straight ahead at us, he nose is more in three-quarter view, and her eyes somewhat between the two. Draw a centerline on a scratch layer and you'll see what I mean. Also, I would either expect her to be staring straight out in the middle distance like "OMG!" or staring more down at her thumb. The glowing red eyes vampire cliche might help you out a little, too.

    Nicely rendered, though. Nicely enough that I had to stare at it a while to see all that.

    I was once on the receiving end of a critique so savagely nasty, I marched straight out of class to the office and changed my major (sketchbook).
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to Stoat For This Useful Post:


  6. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    England
    Posts
    221
    Thanks
    36
    Thanked 47 Times in 46 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    The one thing that plays with me, is the colours, it hurts my eyes. I actually feel like I'm straining ( I may just be getting old! ) but I think the contrast is a little, painful. I'm not sure if thats a bad thing, however.

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to self-epidemic For This Useful Post:


  8. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    343
    Thanks
    44
    Thanked 65 Times in 48 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    I had an hour before going to work so I tried to fix a couple of issues you guys mentioned: the centerline of the face, the awkward position of the butt, added some overlap of the backgand over the thumb (might add a trickle of blood there) and made her look at the thumb. It's hard not making her look cross eyed, and I'm quite sure if she is or not right now.
    Thanks for all the pointers so far.



    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  9. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    England
    Posts
    221
    Thanks
    36
    Thanked 47 Times in 46 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Thats much better, my eyes don't hurt as much now!! They thank you!

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to self-epidemic For This Useful Post:


  11. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Norway
    Posts
    77
    Thanks
    28
    Thanked 24 Times in 22 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    The light is coming in from the bottom right yes? Then there wouldn't be a highlight all the way down her right arm and I would put som more highlight on her hair to the right that is actually closer to the source. If you compare it with the highlights you've put on her bangs, which is further away from the light source, you can see there's quite a difference And the way you've shaded her arms make it seem like the light source is slightly behind her, but then there's too much light on her face, too much as in area not value, and also there wouldn't be any light on the actual circle thing behind her.

    tesorone.deviantart.com
    tesorone.tumblr.com
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to tesorone For This Useful Post:


  13. #8
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    10
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    There are a lot of structural issues with the anatomy. And it's really painful. Especially the impossibly twisted and curved lower spine. Explanations after the redline.

    Name:  Noobvamp2redline.jpg
Views: 237
Size:  178.2 KB

    From top to bottom:

    Her eyes are uneven sizes, which is probably why she looks cross-eyed.

    The center of her lips/base of her nose don't quite line up with the center of her face.

    Thumbs do not have that many joints.

    The forearm does not curve like that in that position, unless the person has a deformity.

    Her neck is missing any indication of any attachment to the right side of her body. Also, where's her clavicle? She's too skinny to not have it visible.

    Her shoulder blade is conspicuously missing... unless it's really tiny.

    Elbows are not that pointy, nor do they jut out that far.

    Her right butt cheek should not be visible in her current pose unless her spine is capable of rotating 45 degrees laterally while at a 90 degree angle dorsally AND WHILE her legs are directly fused to her spine. The latter definitely seems to be the case.

    Just how is her torso attached to her legs? Where are her hips? And what happened to her crotch?

    ---

    Anatomy. Please study it.

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  14. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Kyllorac For This Useful Post:


  15. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    343
    Thanks
    44
    Thanked 65 Times in 48 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Tough cookies to swallow these crits, since they are all so spot on.
    Thanks so much for taking the time to point out all my mistakes.

    I tried to fix all the issues mentioned. I changes her eyes again, because it just doesn't make sense she would try to look at her own teeth... And the cross eyed issue persisted even though I resized the right eye.



    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

Members who have read this thread: 0

There are no members to list at the moment.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •