Looking for crits
Join the #1 Art Workshop - LevelUpJoin Premium Art Workshop

Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Looking for crits

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    557
    Thanks
    83
    Thanked 155 Times in 154 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0

    Looking for crits

    I've been trying to work on telling a story and composition. This is a piece that I have come back to enumerable times to tweak and try different things. I think I like it where it currently is, but some things are still bugging me.

    It feels slanted to the right a bit too much. I originally planned for the structure on the left and the right to be where they are, leaving an almost carved out space of back ground. I thought that since its going to be a straight on camera angle, it needed a dynamic direction to add some interest. I thought That by repeating the notched out wiring design it would close it off on the left and right, and that making a structure in the background going in a mirror direction would offset the foreground. But I'm not sure that these things accomplished this.

    Also, the point of the piece was that this figure is communing with this machine. He is reaching out and touching it with love/respect, and the machine is in turn touching him with the strong blue lights that caress his midsection. I think the figure reads as at least trying to communicate with the machine, but I don't think the lights come across as a similar action. I'm not sure really how I could convey it more. I thought about adding some tendrils reaching out and connecting with him, but whenever I tried that it looked too sexual, which isn't really what I was going for. I really wanted to stick with the light being the way that the machine touched him. Maybe the idea in and of itself is too conceptual to convey visually? I don't know.

    I'd really like an opinion on these points, and if there is anything else that jumps out at you guys, I would be happy to hear it. Thanks in advance!

    Attached Images Attached Images  
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  2. #2
    L!nK's Avatar
    L!nK is offline Level Up - All Access Level 4 Gladiator: Meridiani
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Canoinhas, Brazil
    Posts
    189
    Thanks
    80
    Thanked 12 Times in 12 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Maybe the "commune" aspect you trying to show could be better achieved if the lights of the machine were directed to the face of the yellow robot/man/cyborg. The lights should come from a place And it's hard to understand his emotions. Is he contemplative? A little scared? or even without any trace of emotions?

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    557
    Thanks
    83
    Thanked 155 Times in 154 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    I didn't think about that. Looking at each other in the eyes is the most simple and primal thing humans do to feel a connection to one another. So maybe pointing those lights at his face would make it seem more like the machine is acknowledging him. I'll definitely give that a shot when I get home. Thanks mate! Does anything else jump out as bad, or needing revising to you?

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    South Carolina
    Posts
    189
    Thanks
    473
    Thanked 327 Times in 106 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    I don't think the compositions feels slanted, however I do think you could show more of the machine on the right side. It doesn't read very clearly as it's own entity. To me it blends in too much with the other objects.

    The cyborg seems to be looking up and into the distance. I would have him looking directly at the machine, if you want to convey a sense of interaction.

    The white background is very harsh right now. I would tone it down so that the highest contrast of light is at your focal point.



    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    557
    Thanks
    83
    Thanked 155 Times in 154 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    I see what your saying and I agree. That something else that I didn't really notice. The machine does blend in to the rest of the environment quite a bit. And while the high contrast was sort of what I was going for, your repaint makes a lot of sense. Focusing the light on his face makes your eye stop wondering all over the place and creates a focal point. I love your repaint by the way!

    Thanks so much for the help guys. This has given me a lot to chew on. It's always helpful and interesting to see what another person's eye sees.

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

Members who have read this thread: 0

There are no members to list at the moment.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •