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September 30th, 2012 #1
guide for people new to CA and how to kill the art community
by izi Adapted from How to Kill the Design Community, by Louis Lazaris
PART I CHOOSING AN ART FORUM NAME
DO NOT USE YOUR REAL NAME. Tell them nothing about yourself as an artist. Strangers are dangerous!!!!
But make them laugh each time you post with a jokey-name that follows you every time through your 2,000 posts.
It will never get old.
Bonus points if it’s NSFW.
PART II CHOOSING AN AVATAR
Make sure you choose something that has nothing to do with your art or even the art world in general. Get something eyecatching like a hot chick (especially if you are a heterosexual male)
Real Concept Artists are Heterosexual Men Who Cannot Resist Reading Posts Graced with this Avatar
If you arn't that bold, just choose find some poor anthropomorphized animal to promote you in a completely non-boring and non-derivative way, like a hamster lifting weights wearing pink lingerie.
PART III DRAWING STUFF AND POSTING FOR CRITIQUES
Decide what to draw. Make sure it is very trendy and shallow, or derivative, like an elf or anthropomorphized fruit art.
Make sure you don't finish your work to any sort of polished level. Just whip some crap up and get that up as soon as possible. Don't bother checking out all of the great free tutorials related to your subject, because getting as many live people to stare at your asshole at all stages of the drawing is very important.
Make sure you add speech bubbles anywhere it seems necessary, using quirky and nonsensical captions to express your secret sexual frustration and neurotic impulses, and most importantly, to distract from the drawing itself. +1 if you make fruit still life talk or fart!
Also draw random objects on margins of the drawing, to distract people even further. THIS IS IMPORTANT!!!!!
Threaten people with Homeland Security if they even THINK about ripping off your work. Better, post giant watermarks on your work accompanied by a huge tawdry story about how your art was being sold in a street market in Ireland by rabble.
PART IV POSTING THE FINAL
Now the time has come to really show off. You have worked hard. Post your drawing in the Finally Finished folder. ALSO ADD LOTS OF EXCUSES as to why you couldn't fix this or that problem, anticipating the reaction from the crowd. Alternately, make self-effacing comments that sound like you're on the verge of suicide. That will make the criticism stop.
Them: "Hey I think it looks a little flat you should shade under his chin more"
You: "He's a vampire so he's supposed to be all white. also my dog died yesterday :::sadface:::"
PART V POSTING REPLIES
Now that you are a season professional you should spread the love.
Randomly clicking on threads in the Sketchbook forum or people you find in the lounge, post one-liners in response, such as any of the following vacuous comments:
"Great work keep working on the anatomy"
"wow your art is so cool"
"I LOVE these. I inexplicably cannot explain why!"
DO NOT POST ANYTHING USEFUL.
DO NOT CRITICIZE THE WORK IN ANY MEANINGFUL WAY.
If you for any reason happen upon a sketchbook that has never been replied to, make sure everyone knows it forever by stating the obvious "FIRST REPLY HUR HUR HUR" If you find this amusing just keep reloading the Sketchbook area and pounce on newcomers. It kills time.
Reading is for the Technologically Illiterate
Don't bother reading anything that said or spending time looking at what they actually drew. Most importantly, DONT ADD ANYTHING ELSE THAT IS USEFUL.
If you feel the need to sound more important, and create an image of being very knowledgeable, make use of lots of platitudes accompanied by quotes from smart people and benign, neutral stories.
Examples of Unsafe Content:
“If a complete rework is possible, listen to this; Gestalt is a principle that means 'unification of visual elements, so that the many become one' basically it means how everything comes together and reads as a single element, even though there may be text and all sorts of visuals." - WAY TOO COMPLICATED
"I don't really like Disney style art but I like your version of Princess Jasmine wearing a bikini" (DO NOT CRITICIZE DISNEY OR ANY OTHER CORPORATION, EVER. YOU WILL DIE AS A FILTHY STARVING ARTIST.)
Examples of Safe Content:
"Wow great art. Nice to see you posting keep it up!" (it's sooo important to stay postive)
"Cool idea I love rabbits/zombies/penises. Hey check out my sketchbook sometime!" (great promotional oppurtunity nabbed!)
Posting anything detailed, informative or controversial will lead to more social dialogue which wastes time and energy. Avoid any kind of confrontation which leads to the person asking questions or wanting more insight.
If someone really needs to work on something like hands or pectoral muscles, just say something vague like "Hey work on your anatomy some more" and leave it at that. Don't ever come back to the thread because they might catch you ignoring them.
PART VI FINDING THE INSPIRATION
Now you are a truly multi-platinum artist, your sketchbook is 50 pages long and filled with the fruits of your ass. You have recieved a commission to do a work. (Really just the DSG topic but you will tell people you were commissioned)
You need inspiration. Where should you go? You shouldn't surf Conceptart.org for ideas, all of your homies hang out here. Instead, go to DeviantArt and find some really cool art people are jacking off too. Never go outside or get inspiration from nature or invite nude models into your home. (Gross!) That is what the internet was invented for - PORN! Always copy your anatomy from supermodels or other hot people otherwise your art might end up looking less sexually attractive and like regular people. EW!
Last edited by Izi; September 30th, 2012 at 05:20 AM.
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September 30th, 2012 #5
It could go that way. I agree with a lot of the stuff Izi posted. Part V (the first bit) is usually what spammers post to get their post count up. At least the crit section is pretty consistent in standards. I've been moving threads from FF and will go and check a bit more often, but not being a pro, it makes me nervous - I know, hard to believe. Edit: I have mentioned it to Jason.
September 30th, 2012 #6
Eh, I wouldn't mind seeing the standards raised in the FF section. Keep it for God Tier only. Maybe that would help to avoid confusion, and the people who aren't as good would know not to post there.
Of course you're always going to get the occasional noobie wankers who think they're hot shit, but not much can be done about that.
September 30th, 2012 #7
I'm not sure about that SpiralHorn. I rarely go into 'finally finished' these days, but an arbitrary set of 'quality standards' would be hard to regulate, not to mention more work for admin and moderators. Keeping it self-moderated is appropriate, and assumes people know enough to post 'Finally Finished' work rather than WIPs. It's good to have a diversity of quality in that particular forum rather than creating ghettoes. It's difficult enough for newbs to be seen without marginalising them further.
September 30th, 2012 #8
This is an example of the stuff posted on another forum in what is considered their Finally Finished (Elwell - don't look - it's that picture again). We have a much higher standard here. I'm surprised my comment hasn't been deleted like a couple of others. Trouble is that there are so many branches of art, it's hard to compare some of them. Even some of the top artists have bad days and post sub-standard work. It's a tough call.
September 30th, 2012 #9
been wanting to check your posts out there.
September 30th, 2012 #10
September 30th, 2012 #11
Blackspot: have you managed to get yourself banned from WC yet? :-)____________________________________________
My sketchbook thread:
September 30th, 2012 #12____________________________________________
My sketchbook thread:
September 30th, 2012 #13
No, not yet. Haven't been there much since CA was back. Sorry Izi. We'll get back on topic.
September 30th, 2012 #14
I think other forums having a lower standard doesn't serve as an excuse to lower the bars here as well.
"Finished" art which is not any good should belong into a persons sketchbook, really. Or CC to improve on it.
September 30th, 2012 #15
well I am guilty of all of these at one point or another, in some form or another. They were all relatively short-lived retrospectively embarassing moments though, except for the internet moniker.
The name thing is important though - I have no idea who people are, without them using some version of their professional name are on conceptart.org. I am bad enough with names that if you are not labelled properly I will have no memory of you. I get this all the time from people. Somehow they know me but they just have a random internet name that is impossible to remember. I have friends who do this silly thing too and they have a steady job in art so I guess it's all good. (stares at The Angry Filipino)
I am an artist, but I am also an art buyer. I would imagine other people who come here are too. Also many people here work for big companies, have hiring clout, and want to remember a good artist when they find one.
It's hard to take someone named "Tossed Salad" seriously or remember them when the time comes to fill slots. (I made that up I hope no one here is named that) It's also difficult to google you. I imagine it's simply a nightmare if you have safesearch turned off.
Part of the reason I changed my name from Naomi Chan to Izi Ningishzidda, legally, is that Naomi Chan is the name of about 3,000 girls in China who all have internet presence. The only people named Izi seem to be Jewish males living in Israel who never get on the internet. People choke on Izi and they prefer to call me Naomi but they remember it.
It's full of spammers and one-liners and ass-pats as far as I can tell. I do not have a problem with the quality of art there. Some of it is a little "Beginner traditional" but I enjoy that since I have seen worse stuff in galleries. There is nothing that annoys me more than "You need to work on your anatomy" one-liners. Knee-deep in a project with naked people all over it, I'm just going to drop everything and go back to school at the atelier. That's basically what that line suggests! Now something like "Her right shoulder is too high on this piece" That I can work with. If I knew what you are seeing wrong with the anatomy DON'T YOU THINK I WOULD FIX IT?
Wait, there is another thing that annoys me. Telling me an anatomical feature is off when it's really not - I have the reference shot in hand, it looks almost identical, that person does not, and they obviously have not seen a woman naked in their life, or have only seen and accepted into their brain one type of woman: the porno model or the Azerothian Night Elf.
Are you all aware that there is a vast array of proportions in all height-and-weight slots in the world???
A VAST ARRAY.
Last edited by Izi; September 30th, 2012 at 02:46 PM.
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