Join 500,000+ Artists
Its' free and it takes less than 10 seconds!
We had done the long distance thing before. We both did not have any problems while I was away for school. She just seems to not really want to get back with me. Almost as if she is giving reasons to just give up. But on some days she will say I am the "best person in the world".If you have to win her back, she doesn't love you. If she loved you this situation wouldn't even come up. The problem is probably that you both haven't fully realized that you don't really love each other. Be completely honest with yourself are you unhappy because you love her?
It sounds more like you're her back up plan. Cut the string.
I appreciate your advice and I will take it to heart. I am glad you could offer me what you know as I have not had much experience with breakups since this is my first. Thank you.You don't have to break contact suddenly and just disappear. Just let her know the deal. Say that you can see that the relationship isn't going to happen, and it's hard for you to remain her friend when you still have so many feelings for her. Let her know you really do want to be her friend but that first you need some time. Her feelings may be hurt at first but eventually she will understand.
I've had to do this after my first really important relationship, and I don't regret it for a second. My ex understood why I had to not speak to him for a while even though we both still cared about each other. But we both realized we couldn't be friends any other way. So after about half a year of no contact we were able to speak normally and without bitterness and emotion. He's still one of my best friends.
Good luck, buddy. Heartbreak sucks.
A part of me wants to say that she would never do that. Another sees the good advice I am getting and the reality of the situation. It really is hard at the moment as a lot of things remind me of her. Sometimes I wonder when the torture will end.
Haha! I have never heard something like that! I will try my best but it seems that a lot of things are associated with her so it is quite hard to forget her at the moment. I will take the advice to work out and draw as I will also look better and feel better at the same time!
I will keep that in mind.
Yeah. She has a LOT to do to get her mind off things. That would include settling into the new country, packing out her things, looking for a job, getting her bank account set up, etc. I am here basically waiting for the plane to get to me in 3 weeks! I will draw more and work out to fight off the battle going on in my head. Most of it is a "does she hate me?"/"will she get another man?" type conversation and I agree beforehand that it will get me nowhere.No, this is just going to feel horrible overall. Nobody is going to blame you for the way you feel. It's natural to want to keep in touch and not lose the friendship, it's just that I think most of us have experience with doing that and it didn't work out well. You don't have to be a jerk about it, you can ask her for some space and time to think about things and then just sort of let that connection lapse.
It will be easier in 3 weeks when you leave and have things to do with your time. It's always hardest when you're the one just sitting around and thinking.
I woke up late today (about 3pm her time) and I got a missed call at about 7:30am (Mytime). I tried calling the whole day and I could not get through. I was wondering if she hates me now because I have not called and blah blah blah. It's really taking most of my will not to get impatient and think about bad things (i.e. does she hate me/will we get back together) than to just calm down and try to get myself back together. It is also double hard because I REALLY thought this was going to be it and we would get married and i could finally feel loved and accepted and... stuff. Anyway, I will definitely ask for space and accept the guilt trip that will come with it.
Thank you. Life is all about risk. maybe. I do not think I am old enough to make that statement. At the moment a lot of things are being said in my head and with all the emotions going around it is a bit hard to work through all the clutter. My mind know that there are "millions of women" (thanks paint) and that I will , more than likely, find someone that could exceed my expectations in a woman *crosses fingers* but of course right now, in the freshness of the heartbreak, it all doesn't seem that way. I will try my best.There's not much sound advice us internet strangers and love meisters can give - since we aren't in your situation, nor do we know all the facts and the intricate nuances of the relationship, and how psychologically sophisticated either of you are, and how aware of that sophistication both of you are in each other.
But, if I were you, and I loved her as much as you're describing, I'd pack my things, essential stuff to get going. Warm clothes if you're going to colder climes, all the ancillary items. But most importantly of all, funds, and something sentimental. But it is crucial to judge the situation as best as you can using what you know, and your intuition. No one but you can do that. I'm just saying what'd I'd do if I were in your situation.
Will it work? I don't know, you don't know, and neither does anyone else. We're all projecting here. Just don't regret it down the road.
That's what I plan to do with my Beatrice, and she's literally half-way the world away.
So take a risk: either pursue the risk, and suffer the harsh truth, or reap it. Or look back when you're 75 when you're finally buried, but realized you actually died at the age of 25.
Other than that, there's *NSFW* X-Art. *NSFW*
You see that, my friend is what breaks my heart so much! That she will go through these men to realize that I am the best for her! (ok, I admit that does sound crazy/possessive). I have thought through all the scenarios where she comes back to me after having been with these men and asking if we should be back together and honestly I have no clue what I will do.Yeah that sucks. I agree with the others - it sounds like she wanted out but doesn't want to let go of you just in case. You guys were only separated for 2 days and "something changed"? No offence but the relationship couldn't've meant much to her if that's all it took (unless you said some serious shit to her when you broke up).
I don't have much to add except that the first few relationships you go through, they tend to feel.. more than they are. I know right now you feel like she's the one, that there's no one out there as special as she is, but that's impossible for you to gauge right now. You need some time and perspective. When you look back at this later on, it might look a bit different.
If she's serious about not being together and living far, far away, you should respect her wishes, accept it, and focus on yourself for a little while. If you try to hold on to this relationship and be her friend whenever she needs you and not let yourself let go, it's going to be incredibly tough when she moves and meets someone new. It's possible that down the road you will both decide that you're happiest together and get married after all, but allowing yourself to be happy on your own right now won't stop that. If she's as great as you think she is, she'll understand and want what's best for you.
Advice that I am getting suggests that I should just let go and "be happy on my own, right now" as you said. I will try to let go but my over positive side comes in and says: "No! You should be ready for when she comes back to you!" Ugh. I will be happy by myself.
I will do that. thank you.Yeah, i wouldn't waste time with the "just friends" thing, that's just letting you off easy. Do like some others said, start working out as a way to keep yourself occupied and healthy, if you sketch, start sketching in coffee shops, be around people, dont be a recluse in your house and you'll be fine.