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  1. #46
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    I've known a lot of amazingly beautiful girls who were incredibly competent at their jobs. And I've known a lot of ugly people who were lazy, didn't pay attention, and were blindingly incompetent. In my experience attractive people tend to be more competent at their jobs than unattractive people.

    There was also a study published a few years ago that found that ugly people were more likely to lie than attractive people.

    All sorts of people who can't do their job get hired for one reason or another.

    Guys look at hot girls and think to themselves "she's hot looking." That's life. Get over it. Its a waste of thought space to be concerned about it. And wanting to control other people's behavior is a kind of sickness.
    At least Icarus tried!


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  3. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by kev ferrara View Post
    Guys look at hot girls and think to themselves "she's hot looking." That's life. Get over it. Its a waste of thought space to be concerned about it.
    Great. But that's not even what I said.

    What you think to yourself is awesome. You see someone attractive and comment on it to yourself that's great. No one is saying take a stab to your eyeballs and penis - how dare you see physical attractiveness.

    Talking aloud to other co workers as the first thought of "Well is she hot looking?" is inappropriate. Period.

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  5. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arshes Nei View Post
    Talking aloud to other co workers as the first thought of "Well is she hot looking?" is inappropriate. Period.
    Nah, that's fine. (unperiod) People are people. You should relax about it. Just call the guys dorks, animals, or pigs. And move on.

    If you police the words, you don't eradicate the thought. (See Orwell, USSR.)
    At least Icarus tried!


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  6. #49
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    "In my experience attractive people tend to be more competent at their jobs than unattractive people. "

    People instinctively attribute positive characteristics to attractive people.

    And people with genuine positive characteristics (talanted, funny, excellent at some task or skill) are often seen as attractive.

    "what is beautiful is good"

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physical_attractiveness

    "Research has shown that some men enjoy viewing women's breasts,"
    Last edited by Velocity Kendall; August 2nd, 2012 at 04:09 PM.
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  7. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Velocity Kendall View Post
    "Research has shown that some men enjoy viewing women's breasts,"
    Alright. In the spirit of disclosure as a moderator, I will admit, I am
    actually one of those men.

  8. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by kev ferrara View Post
    If you police the words, you don't eradicate the thought. (See Orwell, USSR.)
    That may be true, but maybe it should be amazing that gay men haven't really done this response if a new co worker worker of the same sex is due to arrive for many years before the "Coming out" phase...

    Just sayin....

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  10. #52
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    This is a bit of tangent, but there are such things as etiquette, common decency, and respect.

    It's really annoying when people try to defend they way others express themselves by pretending that criticizing behavior is the same as trying to control their emotions. It's not the drive that's being criticized. NO ONE's saying it's wrong to be attracted to women. It's the way people choose to EXPRESS it that's being criticized.

    Good god, I hate the "I'm a man, I can't help it." cop out of an excuse.

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  12. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Star Eater View Post
    Alright. In the spirit of disclosure as a moderator, I will admit, I am
    actually one of those men.
    You sicken me
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  14. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by kev ferrara View Post
    Nah, that's fine. (unperiod) People are people. You should relax about it. Just call the guys dorks, animals, or pigs. And move on.

    If you police the words, you don't eradicate the thought. (See Orwell, USSR.)
    One comment is easy to relax about, but the problem is it's almost never just one comment but a pattern of behavior. (Bullying is a pretty good example of this.) While yeah, people will think what they think - there's nothing wrong with expecting a little courtesy and respect either.

    Also, tags. heh heh heh. Really? "Control Men Now"?
    Last edited by Alice Herring; August 2nd, 2012 at 05:00 PM. Reason: stupid grammar.

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  16. #55
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    Well since so many insist they can't control themselves...

  17. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Psychotime View Post
    This is a bit of tangent, but there are such things as etiquette, common decency, and respect.

    It's really annoying when people try to defend they way others express themselves by pretending that criticizing behavior is the same as trying to control their emotions. It's not the drive that's being criticized. NO ONE's saying it's wrong to be attracted to women. It's the way people choose to EXPRESS it that's being criticized.

    Good god, I hate the "I'm a man, I can't help it." cop out of an excuse.
    How 'bout that!

    The issue is not that people are going to be dicks. The issue is learning to accept that fact because the only way to do something about is to try to legislate/control by law your local environment according to your personal sensitivities. Which is a worse crime. Because who says your sensitivities are all that important? Being offended is okay. It is not your right to be free from offense.

    When it gets physical or interferes with work, that's a different matter.

    Arshes, I'm not sure I understood your last point.
    At least Icarus tried!


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  19. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by Velocity Kendall View Post
    And people with genuine positive characteristics (talanted, funny, excellent at some task or skill) are often seen as attractive.
    It's true. Once we get past the extreme outliers I can't tell who's "good looking" and who isn't, so my decisions about attractiveness are largely based on whether the person is clever, funny, smells okay and is wearing a bicycle helmet.

    Quote Originally Posted by kev ferrara
    And wanting to control other people's behavior is a sign that you belong in management.
    Fixed.

    But seriously, you have to manage what happens at the office because it sets the culture of the workplace. The culture affects what kind of workers you attract. This is what good managers do. They herd workers so they do work, not wander around spreading discord and fucking the team up so nothing gets done.
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  20. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by vineris View Post
    you have to manage what happens at the office because it sets the culture of the workplace. The culture affects what kind of workers you attract. This is what good managers do. They herd workers so they do work, not wander around spreading discord and fucking the team up so nothing gets done.
    Staffing smartly in the first place is an essential issue. And yes, a good manager will cleverly find ways to avoid issues. But I've worked in agencies where there were people who were so thin skinned, reactive, and so demanding of control of all things they found emotionally distressing in the local environment... that they were fired for the sake of the workplace.
    Last edited by kev ferrara; August 2nd, 2012 at 05:31 PM.
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  21. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Velocity Kendall View Post
    People instinctively attribute positive characteristics to attractive people.
    Actually, I think there are a massive amount of people who instinctively hate attractive people and assign them negative characteristics (and even whole life stories) before ever talking to them.
    At least Icarus tried!


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  22. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by kev ferrara View Post
    How 'bout that!

    Arshes, I'm not sure I understood your last point.
    Pointing out the irony of "men who can't control themselves" and what Psychotime later talked about.

    I dunno kev, maybe I just want the bullshit excuses for guys who think it's ok to act like manchildren to stop.

    It doesn't take much hesitation if someone said something racist in the workplace, so I don't see why the handwringing over something sexist.

    Maybe I'd like to see equality and not shitty mindsets...and excuses for it like somehow one can't honestly control themselves. Really is it 4th grade?

    And that goes for mindsets about men and their position too. I supported a guy who was not a boyfriend/so, not a relative because he needed help.

    Maybe I don't want to have to constantly fend off bullshit that because he's male and not with a job at the time and being supported by a female that "he's a loser"

    No, I'm not an idiot and it doesn't stop people from saying things...but really?

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