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Last edited by MariRosa; June 23rd, 2012 at 12:32 AM.
Have you shot reference? The gesture is getting there, but just not quite right. Parts of her torso, such as her lower back and stomach, suggest that she should be sitting up straight, which doesn't jive with the slouched shoulders of her upper body. There are also some issues with her legs, which look a bit too small and bent in odd ways. So I'd shoot shoot some reference.
Besides that, the only thing that bugs me compositionally is the horizontal line created by her hand, thigh, and foot, so close to the edge of the picture plane.
I like the drawing and look forward to seeing it progress. There is something that is bothering me about her waist, again it's not really sitting right in terms of the slouchy pose her shoulders suggest. It looks to me like there should be more squashing in the stomach area towards the dropped shoulder.
Last edited by Black Spot; June 22nd, 2012 at 01:37 PM.
Looks OK...there's something about the pose that bugs me a little but I can't quite put my finger on it. If you posted the actual reference photo it might be helpful.
Also: if you want to do professional character design, I'd strongly suggest you move past doing standard "furry" characters wearing standard "furry" costumes (I'm pretty certain that actual Spanish aristocrats never wore bikini tops and detached sheer blouse sleeves) in standard "furry" poses. Just my two cents.
Her boobs don't really connect to her shoulders (as in the shoulder that's higher generally is going to have the breast higher too):
Also I'd really consider if she can pose her legs like that while wearing high heels, especially the bend leg. Also note that in my redline the position of her hand is most likely off in terms on perspective, and most helpful would be if you shot a specific ref for this, posing yourself or using a friend.
Also gotta agree with Giacomo, I'd push the subject matter harder and further, even as a pin-up (which this pretty much is) or furry image this is pretty sub-bar and it kinda avoids doing anything drastic. I would suggest you study stuff like Blacksad, that really shine in terms of mood, art and where the animals (well, most of them) contribute more to the actual story than just being animals: http://blacksad-gallery.blogspot.fi/
Also you might want to read up on composition and consider the rule of thirds in this image http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rule_of_thirds (I know you say you know about it, but considering that you don't use it in this image when it would be the easiest makes me wonder if you actually have internalized the knowledge and converted to understanding, seeing how avoiding it doesn't really benefit this image at all.)
EDIT: Also it's generally preferred that you don't just replace the art, as now the first comments have no context and we can't see the progress of the image, telling is something worked better in the first version or not, etc.
Last edited by TinyBird; June 22nd, 2012 at 02:52 PM.
Slow down! One step after another!
There's not the time to think about a tiny element of the background yet ("marble or polished ivory for a small thing in the background?")... and you are still far away from the step with the clean outlines. You've had an image with clean crisp lines for parts of the costume this morning. and then you got a critique, updated and now you have to start anew. That's not efficient.
It's not even the time for anatomy yet (but keep Tinybirds advice and redline in mind! It's spot on. So is Giacomos weary warning).
If you don't want this to become the next generic-furry-soft-sunset-romantic-(but actually creepy)-image then put time and thought in the first two steps.
Otherwise you will end up boring and flat.
It's time to go back to the research phase.
Collect reference images for pose, costume and surrounding. What mood do you want to have, what does the scene consist of, what is the most interesting way to present it?
Can you go with less elements (less palm trees and polished wood) to convey the mood of a spanish sunset? Can you steal a good composition from some other image?
Here's an idea: Put together at least 3 A3 sheets full of references and ideas what mood you want to have and what would convey the scene in the best way you want to have.
Here, I even do the first steps for you:
Search for good reference pictures for good poses:
What poses do you want to have? Where should the camera be?
How can you use contrast? What is your focus?
http://grapefruitmoongallery.com/gal...en-compare.jpg How many elements are in the scene? What information image do you get from her surroundings? How much of it is necessary? What is the story, can you tell?
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MMqqmes--b...40/Kiraz_2.jpg How do you design the body? What does the body say about the girls? How do the surroundings work?
Not a pin-up but surley a moody picture of a hazy sunset. How much detail is necessary?
What kind of scenery do you want to have?
Would an unusual background be more interesting? Would it still be sexy?
How big should the figure be in the composition?
Is she even the main focus?
If you have this, then go and make thumbnails, small tiny sketches where you play with the figure and the elements in the picture and actually come up with something original.
Here's an old red line I've made before I realized that the image lacked in the very starting phase. The reason why the figure fells flat is because there is no fore shortening and because she doesn't take up space: hand, ass, leg and feet are all aligned around one line. http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/855/cattb.png/
And nope, you are not in the position to specialize yet.
Jeez. I might just post this here:
Honestly I don't really get the point of desperately trying to hide stuff you've done, especially since there wasn't really anything extra shameful, foot-in-your-mouth stuff going on in here or anything.
Yeah, I wonder what happened - if the artist got hurt/angry or if s/he just wanted to disappear and come back with a new, fresher picture.
Don't go MariRosa, it's just critique and advice, it was an alright picture D: