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  1. #14
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    Sep 2011
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    First of all, this is much better than your first intent. However, I don't love the pose of the girl. At first the robe confused me, and I couldn't find her legs. You can't really tell where her body ends at first sight, maybe because the colors of her boots are almost the same as the sky. I'd remove the boots all together, but you can make them shorter if you prefer, and also another color (or another color for the sky).

    I'd remove completely the ostrich that's on the far right (only a small part of it is visible anyway); it's pretty distracting. About the girl's position, I'd put her closer to the ostrich's neck (I mean, move the saddle to about where the wing starts). The ostrich's wing looks weird right now, try to make it more feathery, just play with it some. Also, work more on the ostrich's tail.

    You've done pretty good on conveying speed, I think. To that effect, you could make the girl's hair much longer and swirly and stuff. I think the ribbon's string (that's cut by the tail) should be longer and go over (not behind) the tail. I'm not really loving the tail right now, you could play more with it's position (look's somewhat stiff imo), or just remove it completely. Also, why does the girl have an adam's apple? If that's like "neck muscles" or something, I would make them more subtle cause right now they look like an adam's apple imo. Oh, and remove the tree branch; it takes away from the speed effect, seems like you just threw it in there to cover some space. You could also push her head downwards more, remember, she's in a race so she must use her body to guide the wind, not let it stop her (or decrease her speed), that's why jockey's crouch like that. Right now all the wind is hitting her right in the head, she'll probably lose the race lol.

    Also, the girl looks as if she's slipping or sliding backwards. Make her grip on the "rope" (don't remember the word for it lol) tighter and higher up, right not it looks as if she's holding on to the ostrich instead of the ropes; and also make the ropes tense, not sloping downwards like that.

    This is probably a long critique, and you're welcomed to ignore it, it's only my opinion after all, but I hope you find something useful
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    Last edited by LuckyCharm; May 26th, 2012 at 12:32 AM.
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  3. #15
    Join Date
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    Why is it that we see the whole girl from a perfect profile, but we see her breasts from above?

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  4. #16
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
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    Ok .. so a lot of time have passed and I made lot's of changes ..
    I'm not 100% satisfied, but don't know what to do either ...

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  5. #17
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    this looks much better now, especially the face, but the background looks too empty in my opinion, and maybe you could give to her clothes and the bird a bit more details.
    Also, if you add another color to the background, like orange, the image would improve.
    Because there is so many blue and i found the overall mood of the image boring.
    But it is only my opinion! just keep working.

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  6. #18
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    May 2008
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    You could move her over to the left. Right now most of the points of interest are smack in the center, except for the bird's head which is crowded to the right. Her flapping robe isn't all that interesting, I don't think it needs to take up a third of the picture.

    Also, the wings, feathers and legs on the bird are looking too stylized and simple. You should do more research into ostriches and ducks/swans and make the bird a bit more realistic.

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