taking another plunge, trying to make this piece work, go ahead and crit away, reference used for the girls pose, but i want to make this piece really successful, so any advice ill find helpful
Thanks for the advice and crits Somelar I think I made an improvement on the comp?
Hey there, I can't give advice per se but your image reminded me of two pieces that Quigleyer once developed, have a look at the threads:
"Man versus Scorpion" http://www.conceptart.org/forums/sho...d.php?t=224937
"Man versus Tentacle" http://www.conceptart.org/forums/sho...d.php?t=222315
Note the thumbnails, and how much he changed from his orginal idea.
I second the motion, have a good long looks and then rework yours to get the whole characters in and not half of them, it just looks better and you can sell the action a whole lot better too.
all the best with it.
A great kind hearted lumbering bullock
http://conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=209918 = my Sketchbook
I defiantly think your second drawing is more successful then the first. I would love to see you push the action and drama further like in the Quigleyer posts that LordLouis recommended.
On that great road, always and forever journeying forward to that shining city on the hill.
@ LordLouis: Thanks for the links man, very very inspirational!
@lightship69: Thanks for the feedback, you're definitely right, the more i look at it the more i see things i can definitely change
@Rabbott: I agree, that guys WIPs are very helpful : )
Anyway I think you should give more thought to the background. Right now it's just two characters only aware of themself and not interacting with the enviroment. Something simple like the tiger(?) breaking off a branch of a tree or something, getting ready for her attack could help that immersion with the enviroment. It seems obvious that he's mentally ready for the attack, and he looks like he wants to put on a fight. But he'd have little chance of getting her unless he uses the enviroment (or something else) to his advantage.
Is the forest a natural habitat for the girl? Because she has managed to choose a really nice array of weapons that would make moving and especially running in a forest completely impossible. You probably can loose the axe thing altogether if she's meant to move fast, and those spikes on the bow would get caught in every bramble along the way. Charging with that sword drawn could be pretty risky as well, I can see it getting caught by the spikes and slamming back to her face.
Gotta echo with Suncut here... Overall the character looks about as sensibly designed as some of the less good versions of 90's Angela...
Chock full of unnecessary detail and items that make little sense.
If she's supposed to be a feral, jungle/forest warrior, and her weapons are held together with vines/string, the suddenly very intricate three blade thingy looks kinda out of place (so she has to tie rocks into her knife, but has access to brand new looking advanced blades? It might be fine if we'd get a backstory for that but for one single image it's likelier to end up confusing, not to mention the blade looks pretty ridiculously overdone seeing how most of the cutting surfaces will never contact anything they'd cut) and all the little rivets, x's and spikes do come off to me like frivolous "details for details sake" that make the design look unnecessarily busy (not to mention I wonder whether those will be very pleasant to paint in). Ask yourself are the details integral to the character design (as in, will something break if you take them away).
Oh geez, 90s Spawn art...you dirty, dirty bird you.
The skull on her chest looks flattened. It's going to jut out quite a bit more than you've drawn it, especially when you consider the breast tissue and layer of armor underneath. Try drawing her in profile view to get an idea. I imagine it would get in the way.
Concerning the design, it feels like a hodge-podge of medieval armaments and tribal decoration. You've done well in toning down the needless detail and impracticality, but over all I still just don't buy it. What culture does this person comes from? If the culture is totemic and has access to metal smithing, maybe they'd make more extensive use of animal motifs in their armor and less use of actual bones and skin (though that's just an idea: consult someone who knows anything about anthropology). Point being that if you're going to do an X meets Y thing, think about how the two might be hybridized.
Design wise, I would take a look at Native American/African weaponry. It's usually small, primitive and very, very simple. Granted, designing characters doesn't always have to be super realistic, its good to base the designs in reality and add upon it.
As far as your image goes, its a good idea to paint the whole image at the same time. Generally you want to have the same level of finish throughout the entire piece because each element works together to make the composition of the image. If this is a single image, why not have her already leaping through the air to make it even more dramatic? Why not move the camera up or down. We have a pretty straight on view of them as if the camera is being held by a cameraman who is their height. Why not put the camera guy on the ground or put him in a crane?
You should check out my site! Yes you!
and the devarts...
You could move the tiger/lion's (make a decision there; is it a tiger or a lion?) front legs a whole lot forward without changing anything else and the proportions would look a lot better. His body is far too short while his neck is way too long. You could also tone down a lot of the musculature and those toes really won't be so distinct all the way up the paw. Look up references if you're unsure.
As someone already mentioned, try doing a lower camera angle, it will make it lot more dynamic. Also, both the figures are pretty equally sized so there really not much of a focus on one over the other. It might also help tie them both together more if you overlapped them as well. Good luck good sir
I like the new composition although unsure of which 3 points of interest are the intended focal point. Perhaps you will set the girl apart with some color contrast later?
Another thing is- she doesn't seem to be looking at either of her attackers. One or the other, but staring blankly inbetween them doesn't make much sense.
It might be your "style" but her feet are very large. in comparison to the rest of her body and her hands. Usually if artists make stylized proportions, the make the arms AND the legs larger, not just one. But right now the width of her toes are bigger than her face, and her hands seem fairly realistically sized.
Edit: I would also suggest her to look up at the cat creature, and try moving the ground creature back(right) and maybe even slightly cut off in the composition. I feel that would give better eye flow and you wouldn't have so many things battling for the main point of interest. It would also help the flow of storytelling. "she kills the cat first, then has time to move on to the second threat"
Characters are all too "posed"...like they're performing or posing on a set or something. Cloak's lion arm looks too much like hers. Play more with camera angles, expression, tension, drama...look at some artists that convey that kind of thing well - Frazetta for sure.
I agree with the above. The woman's gesture is not convincing. Yeah, it spells out her posture; "look, I'm holding a spear and I'm going to be fighting these animals..." Like Jeff said, it's posed. But I do think the composition is worth exploring.
Get yourself a broom and pretend its a spear. Then pretend you're about to die. Wouldn't you drop your bow and use the spear as a polearm to try and get a strike on the incoming lions? You're certainly not going to throw it away, even if you hit one you're still going to die!
I often try to pretend I'm in the scene, and it gives me more believable poses. Then put your camera on 10 second timer, and bam!
Don't put details like toes and face. Just paint the gesture as a silhouette. Make it a convincing pose. THEN spend time drawing it.
I'd suggest building your environment around the action more. You don't want the viewer's eye to get lost in a serene landscape when you're trying to focus on a life or death action sequence. I mean, sometimes you do, but probably not this time.
This paintover is just an example, and doesn't much take into account the useful advice posted above. Basically, I just lowered and tilted the horizon to emphasize that the tiger is airborne and has momentum.
Last edited by Grunler; April 29th, 2012 at 10:38 PM.
finally got my internet up and running, heres an update, i think this piece will be the death of me, painting rocks and nature even copying ref is insanely hard for me, trying different brushes to get it to look right so i dont sit and try and render every little leaf to death
i'm personally not a big fan of the comp; it feels like a beat'em'up side scroller. which is cool if thats the point, but if not i could do with some twisting of form and depth, everything seems to have that cardboard cut out feel to it, i much prefer post 3.
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