Adventure Pulp Fiction Time
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  1. #1
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    Adventure Pulp Fiction Time

    Hey guys, I would appreciate some feedback.

    It's done. I won't be working on it anymore. But I want feedback. Let me know what you guys think. What you like, don't like, would change e.t.c.

    I can't really see it objectively anymore. I've been starring at it for far too long.



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    The Sketchbook of Naj and Stu!:
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  2. #2
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    i think the steering wheel is a bit off, it seems like it's centered and not on the left side. and there's something about the front of the car that doesn't look right..the window isn't angled enough and the edge should come even more towards us

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  4. #3
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    Isn't the lighting on the 2 characters the opposite?

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  6. #4
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    Right on both accounts.

    Does those things bother you guys?
    I took the liberty to throw in a light source for Jake to give his face some light. I figured since it was a cartoon it wouldn't disturb the space TOO much, But maybe it ruins the illusion of space in the piece.

    As far as the errors of the car go, for the most part I just didn't put in the effort to really make it perfect. The dashboard is too small.

    The angle of the frame coming into the foreground is off.
    And I slightly bent the car in a bit. And the mirror is also moved back a bit to fit composition.

    Thanks for the feedback guys. Do you like it as a piece? Or are those errors too glaringly obvious, and deal breakers?

    The Sketchbook of Naj and Stu!:
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  7. #5
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    Yellow guy reminds me of raymond boombox, in fact the whole thing is quite Noel Fielding.
    No crits 'cause you don't wan't 'em

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  8. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Barefoot View Post
    Yellow guy reminds me of raymond boombox, in fact the whole thing is quite Noel Fielding.
    No crits 'cause you don't wan't 'em
    Why don't I want crits? I DO want crits! I just gave a heads up that it's done. That doesn't mean I can't learn from those crits and apply that information to my future work. CRIT ME!

    The Sketchbook of Naj and Stu!:
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  9. #7
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    And then I accidentally deleted my comment. So have a short version:

    The idea is funny, the car interior looks good, but the characters are not perfect.
    Jakes chin has an awkward tangent with his collar, it looks like his chin is stuffed into it.
    You can leave the chin line out like in the cartoon character or use a more human approach. He also has a hump.
    If you take one thing out of it for future commissions, it's: Watch out for tangents!
    For storytelling purposes, you could've shown what he does with his hands (the left one seems to be holding something but it's hidden from view).

    Finns face is really hard to read, the shadow is strong and at strange places. Why is the area around the left eye so dark, does he have a dent in his head?. I also can't tell what's going around the mouth area.
    Did you colorpick from the actor and then just added the colors? This is a good idea, but on the face it doesn't work all that well because the character has a very smooth, simple face without a nose, brows, chin or anything that could throw a shadow.
    Also watch out for the shadows on his hat. There is a dark shadow in the face but none on the hood?
    That bloodsplatter on the face, it doesn't wrap around the face properly and flattens the face out (there's a transform tool option in Photoshop that helps you to distort 2D images).

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  11. #8
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    Now THAT is exactly what I wanted.



    Thank you for taking the time to do that bud!
    Great advice! You can tell I don't work much with cartoons.

    The Sketchbook of Naj and Stu!:
    SKETCHBOOK

    And of course go check out the SB of DefiledVisions
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