I haven't had any friends in 6 years. - Page 2
Join the #1 Art Workshop - LevelUpJoin Premium Art Workshop

Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 1 2 3 LastLast
Results 31 to 60 of 79

Thread: I haven't had any friends in 6 years.

  1. #31
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    New York, NY, USA 10002
    Posts
    883
    Thanks
    800
    Thanked 305 Times in 212 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    You said you had a lot of friends up until 8th grade. I don't see how you won't know how to make friends.

    I plan to not get married and plan to die alone. And for all its worth, I can still make friends.

    I am curious to see the 6 years of introverted effort you have developed of your art. Maybe you can post some of your work? I have only spent 3 years of introverted years semi-consistently pursuing representational art.

    My Sketchbook

    Twinkle, twinkle little star
    I don't wonder what you are
    For by spectroscopic ken
    I know that you are hydrogen - Ian D.
     

  2. #32
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    17
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    I post art here under a different name, so I don't want to post any of my work as to give myself away.

    I think my experience in High School sort of scarred me. Any time I'd try to talk to my "friends" (necessary quotation marks) about deeper, troubling things they'd ridicule me. When I first went to pursue therapy, as a means of fixing those issues, they ridiculed me for that as well. And so I don't really talk to many people about my issues now. That said, I think I'm a good listener, or at least people tend to really open up to me. I think if I wasn't on the path to be an artist, I might make a good therapist. But I don't know how to extend those relationships out from where they are (school, work, etc) and into the real world. And I live with my parents which I'm quite embarrassed about, honestly.

    I'm going to an art college so attending extra art classes outside of school would be pretty unnecessary. I live about 40 minutes away from my school and commute in daily. I hear only horrendous things about the dorms at my school, so I wouldn't be interested in moving in to them. I do go to other kinds of classes outside of school, but I haven't connected with anyone in those classes and even if I had, I wouldn't know what to do next.

    Last edited by River Man; March 11th, 2012 at 06:49 PM.
     

  3. #33
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Cambridge UK
    Posts
    5,460
    Thanks
    6,454
    Thanked 4,516 Times in 2,456 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    "And I live with my parents which I'm quite embarrassed about, honestly... I hear only horrendous things about the dorms at my school, so I wouldn't be interested in moving in to them."

    LEAVE HOME
    and if people ridicule you ridicule the shit out of them back.

    worthwhile work, exercise, and a boy or girl who loves you, thats all there is to it.
    kiss mummy and daddy goodbye, grow a pair and go and find some adventure before you get old and die.

    Last edited by Velocity Kendall; March 11th, 2012 at 04:49 AM.
    sb most art copied to page 1
    Weapons of Mass Creation 2011 ::: Add your favourites!
    skype: velocitykendall
    facebook: Alface Killah
     

  4. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Velocity Kendall For This Useful Post:


  5. #34
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    10
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    You have to remember kids ridicule about everything, however as you get older, people understand your problems more as a lot of them have been through the same stuff you have.
    What happened with your friends when you were younger, won't necessarily happen now.
    You often keep very few friends from school, either from drifting apart or interests differing as you get older. I remember reading a report that the average male at school has something like 7 - 9 CLOSE friends, but around their 30s that goes down to 2 or 3.
    Try not to use your past experiences as a bar-point for your future friends.

    Dan

     

  6. #35
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Athens, Greece
    Posts
    551
    Thanks
    72
    Thanked 228 Times in 148 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Velocity Kendall View Post
    ...and if people ridicule you ridicule the shit out of them back.
    Agreed! It's this 'turn the other cheek' stuff that turns people into scarred, meek wrecks.

    Here's some inspiration for ya.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PQ6335puOc
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5q9kYKtvYU0
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPC63HT5qCM
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOxyNjv_IcA

    We need heroes, to inspire us and drive us to be better, stronger. Most of the stuff posted on this very site is dedicated to the idea. Open up, get hurt, get
    stronger and just get a little pissed off! You'll make gains, evolve and make friends too! Just don't turn into something like this guy...

    "Don't judge a book by it's cover" Frank Frazetta 1928-2010
    RIP Frank.

    DA gallery http://michaelsyrigos.deviantart.com/gallery/

    CA Sketchbook http://www.conceptart.org/forums/sho...d.php?t=131601
     

  7. #36
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Williston, Vermont
    Posts
    550
    Thanks
    38
    Thanked 156 Times in 102 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by erinc View Post
    My mom, who is very introverted, feels sort of drained after a party. She needs what she calls downtime (basically, alone time or quiet time so she can regroup). But she still likes being with people and enjoys parties, just like I occasionally like a day by myself.
    Yeah, I'm that way also... I may seem extroverted, but that's cause I project that. After I've been around people for a while, I HAVE to get away and be by myself.

    One of the benefits of working on making friends is that there is the learning of some basic social techniques. I learned a lot about how to make friends from my other friends. This led me to help when I sell my paintings and when I talk to galleries. By coming across as extroverted and being able to be comfortable in just going up to a total stranger and talking and connecting with them, I can make a sale.

     

  8. #37
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    221
    Thanks
    207
    Thanked 103 Times in 70 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Move into the dorms. You should've done it as a freshman. Everyone on a freshman hall is in the same boat -moving away from home, moving away from friends, unsure about starting college, etc. You'll never come across another group of people so desperate for new friends, except maybe at bootcamp or something comparable. Not to mention that a good chunk of the beginning of school is organized icebreakers to get to know people who live around you. And remember that living on campus will probably involve things like dorm socials or hall activities, not to mention the random, spontaneous things that go on, like video game competitions and hide and go seek and stuff. You might think you're grown up and mature, but really you've just forgotten how much fun capture the flag is.

    Even though I get the impression you're no longer in your first year, I'd still say move into the dorms. You're missing out on so many opportunities to connect with people your own age by living at home.

     

  9. #38
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    360
    Thanks
    29
    Thanked 257 Times in 120 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by River Man View Post
    ...........
    Join a local sketch group or start a local sketch group.

    E.g.
    http://www.urbansketchers.org/

    Guaranteed to meet new friends.

    Parka Blogs <- Most dangerous blog for artists (and their wallets).
     

  10. #39
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Capital of TX
    Posts
    794
    Thanks
    247
    Thanked 262 Times in 202 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Ill be your friend! Note me maybe we can skype!

    Sketchbook Help me improve! Animations
    “To be an animator you have to have a sense of the dramatic, a feel for acting. You have to be a storyteller.”-Marc Davis
    "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.” ― Mark Twain
    My peeps
    Oghren Care
    Lakai
    Etern
     

  11. #40
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Alberta, Canada
    Posts
    3,167
    Thanks
    751
    Thanked 2,342 Times in 1,207 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    You wouldn't expect a high school student to have the knowledge and experience to do all sorts of things out in the real world, right? You wouldn't hire one to be a doctor or mathematician or professional truck driver, because they simply don't have the experience yet. So why expect them to be any good at socializing? They suck at it just as much as they suck at anything else.

    Even if you live with your parents, spend more time on campus. Join some campus clubs and figure out where the people like you hang out. When I went to Uni I joined the executive for a student club. I spent almost all my free time in the club office and the people I met there were my closest friends for a decade. In fact I married one of them. They still make up the bulk of my Facebook friends list. I joined two other clubs a little later and made some acquaintances I occasionally run into in odd places.

    College is a centralized location where people are relatively idle. It's fairly easy to find a group of people who are interested in socializing and have nothing better to do at the moment. Once they graduate they start to disperse and acquire responsibilities. When you work 8 hours a day with an hour of commute each way and then have to spend time with the spouse and the kids, you aren't going to be hanging out with your friends every evening. So if you're going to take advantage of this, do it NOW. See if you can combine something you need to do anyway (like art or exercise) with a social club, and then you can kill two birds with one stone.

    *** Sketchbook * Landscapes * Portfolio * Store***

    "There are two kinds of students: the self-taught and the hopeless."
    - Dr. Piotr Rudnicki
     

  12. #41
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    17
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Velocity Kendall View Post
    "And I live with my parents which I'm quite embarrassed about, honestly... I hear only horrendous things about the dorms at my school, so I wouldn't be interested in moving in to them."

    LEAVE HOME
    and if people ridicule you ridicule the shit out of them back.

    worthwhile work, exercise, and a boy or girl who loves you, thats all there is to it.
    kiss mummy and daddy goodbye, grow a pair and go and find some adventure before you get old and die.
    You're probably right, but my Dad for example had an exceptionally vivacious social life in college and he lived at home for his entire undergrad education plus two years afterwords. I think I can make it work, I just haven't yet. That said, I'm thinking of transferring to an out of state school for that reason. I definitely won't move into my school dorms. I'm certain that would be worse than my current situation by far. I would consider moving into an apartment, just for the sake of being out of home, but I'm not sure if that would really help anything and besides, money is very much an issue. I can't afford to live on my own yet.

    As for ridiculing people when they do so to you, I don't believe in that. I used to do that when I was younger, and it only made me feel like shit and never accomplished anything. I think restraint and respect takes as much if not more courage than violence. "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

     

  13. #42
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    London, england
    Posts
    885
    Thanks
    320
    Thanked 242 Times in 164 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by River Man View Post
    You're probably right, but my Dad for example had an exceptionally vivacious social life in college and he lived at home for his entire undergrad education plus two years afterwords. I think I can make it work, I just haven't yet. That said, I'm thinking of transferring to an out of state school for that reason. I definitely won't move into my school dorms. I'm certain that would be worse than my current situation by far. I would consider moving into an apartment, just for the sake of being out of home, but I'm not sure if that would really help anything and besides, money is very much an issue. I can't afford to live on my own yet.

    As for ridiculing people when they do so to you, I don't believe in that. I used to do that when I was younger, and it only made me feel like shit and never accomplished anything. I think restraint and respect takes as much if not more courage than violence. "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."
    Fuck that, living at home is great, there's no reason you shouldn't until you get a serious girl/boy friend, because then you really need your space. I'm moving out next year for uni, and I'm both dreading and looking forward to it, I love living with my family, because I get to see them on a regular basis, but I hate living with them too, because I have to see them on a regular basis.
    +student loans D:

     

  14. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Barefoot For This Useful Post:


  15. #43
    Black Spot's Avatar
    Black Spot is offline Pew, Pew, Pew Level 17 Gladiator: Spartacus' Dimachaeri
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    London
    Posts
    9,705
    Thanks
    3,231
    Thanked 5,372 Times in 3,594 Posts
    Follows
    1
    Following
    0
    I didn't leave home until I was 27, so don't feel bad about that - they're just jealous you don't have as many bills as them.


    I didn't think it was possible to be called an artist when you have nothing to say. It's like being a writer who publishes individual words as books and expects to be praised for it.
     

  16. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Black Spot For This Useful Post:


  17. #44
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Cambridge UK
    Posts
    5,460
    Thanks
    6,454
    Thanked 4,516 Times in 2,456 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    "As for ridiculing people when they do so to you, I don't believe in that. I used to do that when I was younger, and it only made me feel like shit and never accomplished anything. I think restraint and respect takes as much if not more courage than violence. "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.""

    Oh cheer up, think about the kids in south park, they constantly rip eachother, but theyre all still best friends. Its fun to take the piss out of your friends when they take the piss out of you, its a social grooming exercise not a nasty war

    "I definitely won't move into my school dorms. I'm certain that would be worse than my current situation by far."

    How do you know? Leaving home is awesome, you're your own man, you can do as you please.
    It sounds to me like youve got no pride. No one will give that to you, you have to take it. Youre obviously intellgient, and a nice guy, now its time to man up and take what you want from life.
    Youre a grown up, its time to leave the nest or you risk becoming a stay-at-home son.
    Time's a-wasting.

    Last edited by Velocity Kendall; March 11th, 2012 at 05:22 PM.
    sb most art copied to page 1
    Weapons of Mass Creation 2011 ::: Add your favourites!
    skype: velocitykendall
    facebook: Alface Killah
     

  18. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Velocity Kendall For This Useful Post:


  19. #45
    TinyBird's Avatar
    TinyBird is offline Why you gotta be an angry burd Level 16 Gladiator: Spartacus' Retiarii
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    HELLsinki, Finland
    Posts
    4,757
    Thanks
    338
    Thanked 2,656 Times in 1,619 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by River Man View Post
    I'm going to an art college so attending extra art classes outside of school would be pretty unnecessary.
    It's not about how necessary it might be (in terms of art), it's about meeting new people that aren't just same aged people from school that all actively do art, especially if you have gotten reputation of not being able to connect, or being "that quiet guy" or something like that at the school.

    Not to mention that yeah, living in the dorms makes you interact people more and generally brings you closer to others (at least you're suffering together if nothing else) and I'm sure you can discuss with your parents that you can move back to home if needed or after school's done. It's an useful experience.

    "I eat comics and poop stylization"
    Comic!
    Sketchbook (Critiques, no compliments please.)
    Tumblr
    Website
    Livejournal
    DeviantArt
     

  20. #46
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Cambridge UK
    Posts
    5,460
    Thanks
    6,454
    Thanked 4,516 Times in 2,456 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    "at least you're suffering together if nothing else"

    Precisely! thats how you make friends, you share literally share your troubles

    sb most art copied to page 1
    Weapons of Mass Creation 2011 ::: Add your favourites!
    skype: velocitykendall
    facebook: Alface Killah
     

  21. The Following User Says Thank You to Velocity Kendall For This Useful Post:


  22. #47
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    17
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Velocity Kendall View Post
    "As for ridiculing people when they do so to you, I don't believe in that. I used to do that when I was younger, and it only made me feel like shit and never accomplished anything. I think restraint and respect takes as much if not more courage than violence. "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.""

    Oh cheer up, think about the kids in south park, they constantly rip eachother, but theyre all still best friends. Its fun to take the piss out of your friends when they take the piss out of you, its a social grooming exercise not a nasty war
    Well yeah, that's different. I don't mean the playful piss taking that guys do to each other. Of course I do that sometimes. I just mean the actual hurtful kind of bullying that I took in high school. If someone is encouraging me to kill myself, I'm not going to go back to them and do the same. If someone is that fucked, then obviously they're suffering a great deal themselves and I don't need to contribute even further to that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Velocity Kendall View Post
    "I definitely won't move into my school dorms. I'm certain that would be worse than my current situation by far."

    How do you know? Leaving home is awesome, you're your own man, you can do as you please.
    Well you're right, I don't really know. But I haven't actually ever heard a positive thing about the dorms. Everyone leaves after freshman year because they're apparently completely unlivable. And it would be weird being a third year student midst a bunch of freshmen anyway. That's why I said I would consider getting an apartment, but not moving into the school dorms. I would move into dorms at a different school with a better reputation, though. And as I said, I don't have the money now anyway.

    Quote Originally Posted by TinyBird View Post
    It's not about how necessary it might be (in terms of art), it's about meeting new people that aren't just same aged people from school that all actively do art, especially if you have gotten reputation of not being able to connect, or being "that quiet guy" or something like that at the school.
    I don't think this is actually my reputation. I do talk to people during my classes, and I don't always eat alone, etc. But I'm at a loss at how to cultivate real friendships. It's like there's a whole secret process that I'm not aware of.

    1. People meet each other.

    2. People talk and are friendly with each other.

    3. ?????

    4. Friendship!

    And the gap between number 2 and 4 are even more of a mystery to me for how people actually become girlfriend/boyfriend.

    I've even considered looking into "social classes" or a Hitch kind of thing (someone that teaches you how to attract girls) but I don't want to go that route until I've fully exhausted all possibility of me fixing the problem myself.

     

  23. #48
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Washington, US
    Posts
    1,194
    Thanks
    1,571
    Thanked 716 Times in 343 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Similar interests is huge. Finding out if you have similar interests is the hard part (the best way is to just ask), but if you ever see something you have in common, definitely remember that and use it as a conversation starter.

    I used to go to these youth events on a monthly basis with this one guy a little younger than me. It meant riding in a van for a few hours to and from the locations so we had to talk about something (other people in the group was helpful too, I REALLY suck at one-on-one.) But over time I started to realize that we had almost the exact same tastes in music. We were both fans of the indie and hardcore genres. It became our main topic of conversation and over time it led to finding other interests we had in common. This connection made it easier (less awkward) for us to hang out together one-on-one (rather than in a group) and it led to us finding other similar interests we had. We're both pretty introverted people and yet we managed to find some connections and now he's seriously one of the only people besides family that I would really want to hang out with one-on-one. Whenever we get together we immediately start talking about our music updates and the conversation branches out from there into other things.

    I have some other friends that are similar, but instead of music it's video games or movies.

    My Sketchbook

    And then God said, "Let us make man in our likeness and our image. Let us make him ridiculously hard to draw so that poor artists everywhere will have to spend 10,000+ hours failing repeatedly before they can begin to capture the form and likeness onto a two-dimensional surface." And there was man. And it was good. And artists everywhere lost their minds.
     

  24. The Following User Says Thank You to manlybrian For This Useful Post:


  25. #49
    JeffX99's Avatar
    JeffX99 is offline Registered User Level 17 Gladiator: Spartacus' Dimachaeri
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Northern California
    Posts
    5,234
    Thanks
    3,512
    Thanked 4,896 Times in 2,544 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Some of the best advice a long lost frind gave me when I was in a new situation, where I knew no one, "Get to know the girls. Then the guys will get to know you." Amazing insight from a dude who was like maybe 16 at the time.

    One thing I sense (could be wrong of course) in your comments is insecurity (that one is obvious I guess) but combined with fear which seems like it manifests as arrogance, stand-offishness and the impression that you are superior to everyone else. People definitely don't dig that type of person and are very sensitive to it...we used to call it "stuck up". In reality it was usually that the person was just afraid and so was giving off a "loner" vibe out of a defense mechanism.

    Don't know if any of that helps but...definitely try to not be judgmental or think you're too good for this or that. And actually I think there would be a lot to learn from a bit of research into social theory, how to make friends, etc. Hitch is a great movie and one of our familie's faves. Best of luck to you.

    What would Caravaggio do?
    _________________________

    Portfolio
    Plein Air
    Digital
    Still Life
    Sight Measuring
    Fundamentals
     

  26. The Following User Says Thank You to JeffX99 For This Useful Post:


  27. #50
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    17
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by JeffX99 View Post
    One thing I sense (could be wrong of course) in your comments is insecurity (that one is obvious I guess) but combined with fear which seems like it manifests as arrogance, stand-offishness and the impression that you are superior to everyone else. People definitely don't dig that type of person and are very sensitive to it...we used to call it "stuck up". In reality it was usually that the person was just afraid and so was giving off a "loner" vibe out of a defense mechanism.
    I used to be stuck up, definitely, but I don't think I am now. Would you mind quoting things that I wrote that make me sound stuck up? Just so I can see what you're talking about.

    If you mean this:

    Quote Originally Posted by River Man View Post
    I don't think I'm repulsive. I'm very kind, or at least I make a conscious effort to be as kind and nice as possible. I'm not ugly, or so I think. I'm fairly talented and interesting, which should entice some people. And I'm decent company. I'm not an asshole, like the people I knew high school were. I'm just very introverted, but I'd hope people would be kind enough to see through that.
    I just put that to maybe give you a sense. The talented and interesting thing was a sort of pretentious thing to say, that's true. But I don't think I'm better than anyone else. As for the other things, about my art and such, I'm just trying to give you some background. And I'm aloud to have at least a marginal amount of pride in my artwork, given the effort I've put into it over the past few years. This is an art website after all. None of you know me here, so you can't say "Yeah that guys a nice guy" so I just put that in here. I don't think I'm a super model, but I'm not hideous either. Would it be better if I thought of myself as being mean, ugly, worthless/untalented, and generally despicable?

    Or do you mean what I wrote about the dorms at my school? I don't think I'm better than the people living in them, I just don't want to live in them myself. And that's just going off of what other people have told me. If they said that they liked it, I would be interested in living there.

    But you're right, I have a lot of insecurity, and even some fear. Any advise on how to vanquish that would be very much appreciated.

    Last edited by River Man; March 11th, 2012 at 06:59 PM.
     

  28. The Following User Says Thank You to River Man For This Useful Post:


  29. #51
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    842
    Thanks
    94
    Thanked 313 Times in 258 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    There's a lot of good advice in here. There's not much i can say.
    Since you mention insecurity, maybe you could read up a bit about psycology, maybe investigate why you act the way you act or avoid doing certain things. I know it's not much of an advice, but you could learn a lot about yourself by doing so.

    "I don't think I'm repulsive. I'm very kind, or at least I make a conscious effort to be as kind and nice as possible. I'm not ugly, or so I think. I'm fairly talented and interesting, which should entice some people. And I'm decent company. I'm not an asshole, like the people I knew high school were. I'm just very introverted, but I'd hope people would be kind enough to see through that. "

    This paragraph you wrote. I don't think there's anything wrong with thinking of yourself as a nice person or being aware of the things you're good at, it's healthy (if it's true of course lol ;P )

     

  30. The Following User Says Thank You to Voodoo_Mama For This Useful Post:


  31. #52
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    2,002
    Thanks
    891
    Thanked 1,010 Times in 539 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by manlybrian View Post
    Similar interests is huge. Finding out if you have similar interests is the hard part (the best way is to just ask), but if you ever see something you have in common, definitely remember that and use it as a conversation starter.

    I used to go to these youth events on a monthly basis with this one guy a little younger than me. It meant riding in a van for a few hours to and from the locations so we had to talk about something (other people in the group was helpful too, I REALLY suck at one-on-one.) But over time I started to realize that we had almost the exact same tastes in music. We were both fans of the indie and hardcore genres. It became our main topic of conversation and over time it led to finding other interests we had in common. This connection made it easier (less awkward) for us to hang out together one-on-one (rather than in a group) and it led to us finding other similar interests we had. We're both pretty introverted people and yet we managed to find some connections and now he's seriously one of the only people besides family that I would really want to hang out with one-on-one. Whenever we get together we immediately start talking about our music updates and the conversation branches out from there into other things.

    I have some other friends that are similar, but instead of music it's video games or movies.

    This. For me I'm not really shy. In fact I talk up a storm. I just Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate small talk. Despise it. Grew up with those that love it and as a kid learned to hate it. There are times where it's obviously necessary. But I've never found myself close friends with people I talked about the weather with.

    As many people have probably said make friends with similar interests you can talk about. If you find someone with those interests pursue it. There are plenty of friends that I would never have been friends with if they didn't take the initiative to really say "Hey lets be friends". (and vice versa with me)

    One guy we were at a party I was showing something to a friend on a computer then checking facebook really quick to get an address. The guy I was chatting with said "Sooooo on facebook eh? Go to such and such's profile. Search for 'insert name'. Click that button that says "add friend".

    It was as simple as the guy saying "Hey we have the same interests we seem to get along, lets be friends". Then later we hung out and such outside of the party. Then from that friend I met other people with similar interests through that person.


    Hell one guy I literally just sent some retarded instant message to him one year in highschool because he sat in front of me in a class. Looking back we laugh at how retarded it was of a meeting, then one day after that he just simply asked "hey can I come over to your house?" I said simpy.... Uh... ok.

    A year later he was living with me for awhile, then now he's moved across the country for a bit and he's still one of my closest friends.



    You can meet the closest of friends through the dumbest or most inconsequential meetings.

     

  32. #53
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    canada, from russia
    Posts
    3,370
    Thanks
    791
    Thanked 443 Times in 357 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Line View Post
    Agreed! It's this 'turn the other cheek' stuff that turns people into scarred, meek wrecks.

    Here's some inspiration for ya.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PQ6335puOc
    No

    Don't be like that, you don't need insult people back. There is no pleasure if making someone eat his words.

    I remember when I was 16, it was so important that when someone tries to insult you, to come back with something that will deflate them. Even better when everybody at the party or in the classroom hears it. So they respect you.

    Say goodbye to that. Growth and maturity includes being comfortable about yourself. If someone tries to say something stupid, why entertain it?

    Are you in fear that they are right? Do you need to prove to yourself that the man insulting you is wrong?

    Or do you know what you are and are proud of that?

    Humility is much stronger then a strong comeback I think.

     

  33. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Pavel Sokov For This Useful Post:


  34. #54
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Cambridge UK
    Posts
    5,460
    Thanks
    6,454
    Thanked 4,516 Times in 2,456 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    "But you're right, I have a lot of insecurity, and even some fear. Any advise on how to vanquish that would be very much appreciated."

    Do what the ugly, scared and wierd but intelligent people have been doing since the dawn of time; learn some jokes (or a musical instrument). Women like good looking guys but they love funny kind talented ones.
    Oh and people who tell you not to try drugs are fools and to be ignored. Avoid heroin, try ALL the others it will change your world for the better, trust me.



    Last edited by Velocity Kendall; March 11th, 2012 at 08:30 PM.
    sb most art copied to page 1
    Weapons of Mass Creation 2011 ::: Add your favourites!
    skype: velocitykendall
    facebook: Alface Killah
     

  35. The Following User Says Thank You to Velocity Kendall For This Useful Post:


  36. #55
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    2,002
    Thanks
    891
    Thanked 1,010 Times in 539 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    I don't know if Cocaine would make your life better

     

  37. #56
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    221
    Thanks
    207
    Thanked 103 Times in 70 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    You've gotten lots of good suggestions. Will you let us know how it goes?

    Oh, and definitely visit the area you're thinking about transfering to! I spent one year absolutely miserable because I just didn't fit in. Unfortunately, it was the only place in state (needed the tuition help) that offered the courses I needed to take and I didn't feel I could study a language remotely. Even though it was the same state, it was complete culture shock - I would've fit in just as well (maybe even better) moving to a different country. It probably would've gotten better, but my courses were done so I moved as soon as possible (I even moved before one class was officially finished). You just don't want to end up worse off than you are, having to pay rent and far away from home. Make sure its a good fit first.

     

  38. #57
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    221
    Thanks
    207
    Thanked 103 Times in 70 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Velocity Kendall View Post
    Oh and people who tell you not to try drugs are fools and to be ignored. Avoid heroin, try ALL the others it will change your world for the better, trust me.
    I have a friend who spent 5 years kicking Meth who would probably beg to differ.

     

  39. #58
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Cambridge UK
    Posts
    5,460
    Thanks
    6,454
    Thanked 4,516 Times in 2,456 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Yeah ok, and dont drink bleach either.

    But mushrooms, weed, mdma, acid, k, in moderation with friends are the best.

    sb most art copied to page 1
    Weapons of Mass Creation 2011 ::: Add your favourites!
    skype: velocitykendall
    facebook: Alface Killah
     

  40. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Velocity Kendall For This Useful Post:


  41. #59
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    455
    Thanks
    305
    Thanked 199 Times in 93 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Removed my other post because it was TMI and sorry about that.

    Assuming that you are who I think you are, I am surprised that you never had a girlfriend. You draw pretty cool stuff and seem quite proactive with art, and girls like guys who have incentive. You're not ugly either, so that's not the issue at all. I think it's your expectations of other people that might hinder some things, judging from how you write here. It seems like you expect people to be perfect. I agree with what Jeff said about how you appear, even though you might be different at heart. I personally felt brushed off and a bit intimidated by how you respond (or the lack thereof) whenever I comment on your stuff, which in return makes me not want to get to know you as much. You don't come off as a friendly person at all, to be honest.

    If you're on good term with your parents and do your part to maintain the home, there is nothing wrong with living at home. Many Mexican families have everyone living under one roof and they're far from being irresponsible. Did you ever talk to your father about your problems? He might know something.

    "But I'm at a loss at how to cultivate real friendships."

    Define real friendship? Good friends don't have to agree with you on everything.

    Last edited by CLANLESS; March 11th, 2012 at 11:42 PM. Reason: misspelled roof as "room"
     

  42. #60
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    17
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Velocity Kendall View Post
    But mushrooms, weed, mdma, acid, k, in moderation with friends are the best.
    I've used a few of those but not with friends obviously. And it hasn't helped my social situation.

    Quote Originally Posted by D.M. View Post
    Define real friendship?
    Hmmmm... Maybe people I see on a daily or weekly basis outside of class/work. You know, actually hang out with them. Also, I'd like to be able to talk to them about personal issues, and visa versa. And as for a girlfriend there's, you know, a physical element.

    Quote Originally Posted by D.M. View Post
    Assuming that you are who I think you are, I am surprised that you never had a girlfriend. You draw pretty cool stuff and seem quite proactive with art, and girls like guys who have incentive. You're not ugly either, so that's not the issue at all. I think it's your expectations of other people that might hinder some things, judging from how you write here. It seems like you expect people to be perfect. I agree with what Jeff said about how you appear, even though you might be different at heart. I personally felt brushed off and a bit intimidated by how you respond (or the lack thereof) whenever I comment on your stuff, which in return makes me not want to get to know you as much. You don't come off as a friendly person at all, to be honest.
    I might not be who you think I am and I don't want you to confuse me with someone else.

    Last edited by River Man; March 11th, 2012 at 11:13 PM.
     

Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 1 2 3 LastLast

Members who have read this thread: 2

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •