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February 29th, 2012 #1
My message to people being bullied
A message to people getting bullied and bullies altogether. A small slice of my story.
I hope this video will reach people facing this issue and if it does, i hope it will help them just a little bit.
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February 29th, 2012 #2
Sickbrush, I hope you don't mind if i copy/paste this from facebook
IMO, 6:15 onwards is especially good. My situation wasn't as bad physically, more psychological. What i think really helped me though was training in martial arts; it built up the 'warrior spirit' and directed the anger that came from bullying in a disciplined, and ultimately creative direction.
Bullies are weak inside. The only reason they do it, to my knowledge is because they lack the inner-strength and self-control, as well as the guidance, to deal with their own pain. Which often comes from their families. The bullies are often dealing with a more difficult situation than those they pick on. Every one is just passing the plate around
Also, i'll link this just out of similarity: http://www.conceptart.org/forums/sho...d.php?t=129756
There's worse things out there though; i wouldn't want to live in Mexico City or Manchester. These are people who were never loved. Past a certain age, that door can't be opened as they are angry and in a lot of pain themselves, stuck in a self-destructive cycle
March 2nd, 2012 #3
I've only had problems with people twice, both were years ago and only one was really a bully, but I know for a fact that one these people did not have particularly bad situation at home (the other did), the first guy was the classic bully, bigger and stronger than I was (the only guy in the school that was taller), he put me in some seriously difficult positions, like following me home to take something from my house because he claimed I owed him money. So I couldn't go home for like an hour because he didn't know where I lived and I wasn't about to lead him there, he also threatened to stab my family members if they got in the way. This was where I had my one and only fight, and I was shit scared because I called his bluff on having a knife (or a bora' as he called it), like most bullies, he stopped after I stood up to him, I still got my arse handed to me though.
The second guy was actually a girl and it was more ongoing, I sort of wanted to be her friend and she was nice like 50% of the time (Inviting me to do stuff out of school etc), but the other 50% of the time she was constantly an arsehole, using the stuff he knew about me to come up with the most hurtful insults, and then come out with something like "nah, only joking", and walk off. It was worse because I wasn't sure if she was a friend or not (and at the time I wasn't spoiled for choice with friends). I eventually made other friends and stopped giving a shit about her. I recently found out that she did the same thing to someone else earlier this year and she ended up getting raped by him, plus at the time I knew her, her father was sexually abusing her, but no one knew until years later, so she had a much worse time of it than I did. I suppose it was something to do with manipulating someone because of what was happening to her...
March 2nd, 2012 #4
Until I was 13 I never spent more then 2 years in a school, most were in different countries. My Dad built power stations. Being always the new kid in the classroom, I sort of developed this aloof persona that staved off most of the bullies. When I was 14 and went to boarding school some decided to try. I'm pretty laid back and it takes a lot to rile me. There was this one occasion when a bully did provoke me. I was playing the piano as I often did, she put my music in the bin. I pulled it out and carried on ignoring her, so she shut the lid on my hands. It wasn't that hard, but enough. I stood up and slapped her so hard that I left a red imprint on her cheek, which lasted for days. I was amused that so many people came and said thank you afterwards. She was never sure about me after that and I had a much nicer time.
There's also the kind where you're expected to fall in with everyone else's plans all of the time, even if you know you and probably everyone else will be bored. I made a New Year's resolution in my early 20s to say, "No!" It sure caused some consternation, but it made me and a few of my friends a lot happier.
Sickbrush, you've gone through a lot worse than I have. What doesn't kill you does make you stronger in the long run and it looks like that's what has happened to you. Stay strong and feel smug that you've won.
That girl is on FB and talks about school being the best days of her life. I refuse to add her.
March 2nd, 2012 #5
nice post man.
i was bullied a lot when i was a kid... really bad stuff. eventually I got revenge though... one by one i fucked em up. I would pick and choose the times, I would make sure there was a teacher right there, not 5 ft away, so that i could do as much damage as possible before the teacher broke it up, before they could even hit me once. one by one, putting them in the hospital.
but i dont recommend this route, i eventually ended up in jail.
but the worst bullying i ever got was from family.
what i try to remind people is that nothing lasts forever.
you hear people tell you that when you're having a great day "enjoy it while it lasts, nothing lasts forever"
but people forget that that also applies to bad things too.
my life was shit, my mother was a junkie, my father a selfish narcissistic prick, my grandfather beat me on a regular basis and eventually pulled a gun on me.
but i knew deep down in my core that it wouldn't be that way forever.
i got away from that life and created a new one here in Cali. I put myself through college, have a home with an amazing girlfriend whom i've been with for 5 years, 2 dogs, i'm at the top of my field making 150k a year as a freelance designer animator, and im HAPPY.
why? because i FOUGHT for it. for me it was a healthy dose of knowing the bad wont last forever, and being angry enough to prove them all wrong. to prove to them that i wasn't crazy, that i wasn't evil, that i wasnt going to work at mac donalds all my life, that i wasn't stupid, that i wasn't every demeaning thing they said i was.
you gotta find that fuck you attitude and use it as fuel for the fire, drive, determination to be more successful than them.
you have to want to make it more than you want to breathe.
March 3rd, 2012 #6
Sickbrush I'm totally there with you. I've been severely bullied since the 2nd grade and have gone through well over 12 or 13 schools due to me simply being the first child and having difficulties with others at school. My teachers used to even verbally abuse me and some of them would pull my hair and hit me because I would fill up 5 subject notebooks with drawings in a day. I was always the tomboy growing up and got along best with men, never really liked women or played with dolls ever. there are very few girls that I get along with and I say those are the quality ones and worth keeping. I'm grateful to have unconditionally loving and supportive parents and family at my back. Definitely a Godsend.
I agree with The dirtsyndicate as well, my situation wasnt as severe, it was only in school and social situations. but hes right. Gotta keep your eyes on the prize. This world is full of selfish people that are out for themselves. Its made me hard, motivated and unrelentlessly driven towards working as a character designer in the animation industry. Our experiences make us who we are to this day, and I'd say everything I went through with my peers throughout my childhood shaped me into who I am today. Focused, driven, motivated and have a singularity of purpose and direction.
Just keep on doing what your doing people and youll get to where you need to be. The bullies arent worth crying over, be headstrong and focus on your future and developing personal life.
Talent and Creativity are yours to use and keep
[S K E T C H B O O K]
March 3rd, 2012 #7
March 3rd, 2012 #8Registered User
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Agreed with the video, also had very bad bullying experiences. It's important to realize that the bullies really are just dicks and they're basically using you as means to impress others or make themselves feel better. I recommend growing up to be a total badass who makes them look like the worthless dicks they are.
March 3rd, 2012 #9
"Until I was 13 I never spent more then 2 years in a school, most were in different countries. My Dad built power stations. Being always the new kid in the classroom, I sort of developed this aloof persona that staved off most of the bullies. When I was 14 and went to boarding school"
Last edited by Velocity Kendall; March 3rd, 2012 at 05:29 PM.sb most art copied to page 1
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March 3rd, 2012 #10
March 3rd, 2012 #11
I was a big kid, so believe it or not every little douche bag with a napolean complex wanted to fight, which was stupid because I usually won, but they would go so far out of their way to make my life hell. They would spread rumors and try to get me jumped by gang bangers and shit. Luckily I could usually reason with the gang bangers. But for the most part the little fuckers with a big mouth could manage to make me enemy number 1.
Sickbrush- you had a different brand of bullies. They took it to a new level. They make the skinheads and vatos I grew up dealing with seem gentle and fluffy.
March 3rd, 2012 #12
I was bullied in primary school but mostly psychologically and I agree it leaves some permanent scar in mind. It could delay obtaining social skills as for a pretty quiet person I was even less eager to interact with people. Luckily it got progressively better once I started studying architecture at university. I met some really open and nice people there. Nowdays it's so past memory that it doesn't really cross my mind much.
March 3rd, 2012 #13
Hey guys, wow i didn't expect so many replies on this.
I'm glad people are talking about it in an open fashion yet i'm sad in the same time because there seems to be so many of you who had the same issues.
Long story short, it was pretty much the same for me, Black Spot and Velocity Kendall, moving all over the place being the new guy constantly. Plus i had long hair and leather jacket so hehe i was an obvious pick.
Things got gradually better as i became slightly better at drawing and way better at fighting. It pretty much ended when i got into a fight with 4 bullies at the same time and managed to lay them on the ground. Of course, with age things get better, especially if you're a very straightforward person with strong principles and you stand by them. Bullies usually pick on the weak so a strong character overall gets bullied less.
I agree with the fact that most bullies have hard conditions at home / family. However, i didn't turn into one and ohoh boy do i have a story to tell. It'll all be in my first art book introduction, promise. Whenever that time comes.
People are volatile and all these issues are bent under social conditions. I'm just really glad that bullying hasn't made me socially awkward in any way and i'm able to live my life under "normal" patterns. I hope things are or will be the same for you and you're all in a better place now.
Thanks for sharing your stories, i know it's not easy to talk about it.