On the Beach
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    On the Beach

    Hello. This is a piece I've been working on recently. Just looking for any critiques. I think I've gotton so close to it that I can't clearly see what may be some obvious errors. So, let me know what you think. Thanks!

    EDIT: To be more specific, I know there's something wrong with the figure but I can't quite figure out what. There's something wrong structurally/anatomically. Also, there's something wrong with the lighting as he doesn't seem to fit in the space properly.


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    Last edited by jpacer; February 21st, 2012 at 07:52 PM.
    "Contrary to the belief of the layman, the essential of art is not to imitate nature, but under the guise of imitation to stir up excitement with pure plastic elements: measurements, directions, ornaments, lights, values, colors, substances, divided and organized according to the injunctions of natural laws. While so occupied, the artist never ceases to be subservient to nature, but instead of imitating the incidents in a paltry way, he imitates the laws."-Andre Lhote

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    JeffX99 is offline Registered User Level 17 Gladiator: Spartacus' Dimachaeri
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    Looks solid to me, nothing jumps out as a problem. Obviously a very soft, stylized interpretation but it works well. OK...if I had to pick out one thing...the breakwater rocks...feels to me like they could use a bit more planar definition which might be a nice contrast to the smooth, flatness of everything else. Right now they feel a bit like they're draped in a big blanket, if that makes sense? Nice mood and atmosphere overall though for sure.

    Edit: OK...the arms feel a bit off...the left one reaching down...kind of an Alley Oop arm with not enough upper and too much forearm. Foreshortening on his right arm seems off also in the upper armm/deltoid area. There isn't a strong sense of directional light because not much there to indicate or cast shadows. I would say his cast shadow on the foam could be brought a little further across toward the lower left corner.

    Last edited by JeffX99; February 21st, 2012 at 08:02 PM.
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    I think what makes the figure look kinda odd is the silhouette, especially his back. It has this sphere form without any indications of muscles, nor bones (backbone, shoulder). Now comparing the level of detail on the figure (very smoothed and reduced) and the distance, it feels more like this is viewed through an old binocular. Even if it comes out like this in your reference, it still looks weird. Seeing it in a photo always is different, eyes are accepting more strange forms when they see a photograph than by looking at a drawing.

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    Nice concept! I like the colors.
    Looking forward to see how it's progressing.
    Keep it up!

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    yeah his arms and legs look strangly shaded. the arm carrying the shells needs shading to show its foreshortened, and it looks like his foot is on backwards.

    great colours and background tho

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    great styling and the colour application. i really see no problem here.

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    I think it looks great. Definitely reminds me of some Cornish artists works. But if I was being super critical, I would comment on the right folded arm. However, it doesn't really bother me and at first glance it didn't stand out as a glaring issue. Nice work!

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    Thanks, everybody!

    Here are the changes thus far. Sorry for the fuzzy photos. Even when I set the ISO to 50 I get a lot of noise.

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    "Contrary to the belief of the layman, the essential of art is not to imitate nature, but under the guise of imitation to stir up excitement with pure plastic elements: measurements, directions, ornaments, lights, values, colors, substances, divided and organized according to the injunctions of natural laws. While so occupied, the artist never ceases to be subservient to nature, but instead of imitating the incidents in a paltry way, he imitates the laws."-Andre Lhote

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    His right arm is still off. Would these help?

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    Others have addressed the ongoing R arm issue, so,

    I'd say, even though I realize his feet are immersed in water, the water line being even with the figure's R Medial Malleolus is VERY distracting-- it looks like the water line has "amputated" the foot!

    This would seem to be an unfortunate species of "tangent" that should be eliminated.

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    It's because his head is too far off to the viewers right, if you centered it more, it'd make the arm a lot better.

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    Thanks, guys! Here's the latest. Sorry about the daylight glare.

    @Marlo: You're right. I didn't see it myself until it was small on the computer screen. More than being too far to the right, I think the head was too small. So, I gave it some girth.

    I tried fixing the ankle in the water, too, but haven't quite got there yet.

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    "Contrary to the belief of the layman, the essential of art is not to imitate nature, but under the guise of imitation to stir up excitement with pure plastic elements: measurements, directions, ornaments, lights, values, colors, substances, divided and organized according to the injunctions of natural laws. While so occupied, the artist never ceases to be subservient to nature, but instead of imitating the incidents in a paltry way, he imitates the laws."-Andre Lhote

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    A lot better!
    Great job!

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    The most distracting thing for me are the tangent lines. I have marked the most blatant ones that draw my eyes.

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    This painting looks marvelous, a really wonderful piece of work. And I completely disagree with the above post concerning tangent lines. It is these lines that build the meaning of the painting.

    You've solved that right shoulder issue.
    One tiny niggle is the crook of that right arm where it rests on the knee and the subtle foreshortening leading to the hand and its thumb.

    But it's a wonderful painting - I look forward to seeing it in the FF section!

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    Hi

    I think this addresses what I was seeing, may still be off but ...
    I defined the edge of his chest between head and shoulder, thickened outer edge of his arm and made his hand a tad bigger with some highlights, and added a bit to the outer edge of his thigh and curved his waistline just a tad.

    Hope it's helpful

    D.




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    Thanks, everybody, for the advice and kind words! I really appreciate it.

    Unfortunately, it may be a couple of weeks before I get a chance to work on this again as a bunch of things have cropped up all at once to occupy my attention. Which may be a good thing as sometimes it helps to take a break for awhile and come back to a piece with fresh eyes.

    @Chris Bennett: Thanks for the kind words and the crit. I'm glad you like the piece! That really means a lot to me.

    @justa: Thank you for the paintover. I can see what you mean. I'll work on it more when I get the chance.

    "Contrary to the belief of the layman, the essential of art is not to imitate nature, but under the guise of imitation to stir up excitement with pure plastic elements: measurements, directions, ornaments, lights, values, colors, substances, divided and organized according to the injunctions of natural laws. While so occupied, the artist never ceases to be subservient to nature, but instead of imitating the incidents in a paltry way, he imitates the laws."-Andre Lhote

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