Arrrhg, the dreaded I suck mode
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Thread: Arrrhg, the dreaded I suck mode

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    Arrrhg, the dreaded I suck mode

    Dang, I've gotten in a huge 'everyting I draw or paint sucks' mode in the last week or so.

    I mean, not that my stuff is great, or even good, I'm just a beginner... but, having gotten half ways through my figure drawing class homework, I'm looking at it thinking, damn this sucks... I should do way better by now.

    I don;t know why I'm posting about it, or what kind of response I'm looking for, maybe if I see it in writing, it'll kick me in the bum to snap out of it.

    I know, I know, quit yer self-pity whinin' and draw.

    of course if anyone feels like offering me a hug before, or after kicking my bootie, I'm not too proud to take it.....

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    Relatively.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Conniekat8 View Post
    I don;t know why I'm posting about it, or what kind of response I'm looking for, maybe if I see it in writing, it'll kick me in the bum to snap out of it.
    You want us to tell you it's not that bad... <sits on hands>

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    Your a beginner, as am I. We are allowed to suck!

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    There's no kick in the butt emotcon.

    Last edited by OmenSpirits; January 24th, 2012 at 07:49 PM.
    "Everything must serve the idea. The means used to convey the idea should be the simplest and clear. Just what is required. No extra images. To me this is a universal principle of art. Saying as much as possible with a minimum of means."
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    Embracing suckiness does a better job of accepting your lack of technical ability you have. Make suckiness your friend, invite it for some tea when it knocks on your door. If you don't, it'll huff and puff and blow your house down, along with your pursuance of art.
    Thats what happened to me. I stopped drawing because I was chasing technical ability, moreso than just enjoying the process.

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    Keep record, and then go waaaaaay back to your old drawings from a year or so ago. Then think to yourself "Oh hey I've improved!"

    Then go do more drawings

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    I feel like this too so I am practicing areas I think I suck most in.

    As you become a better artist your aesthetic tastes change and you are able to see bad habits and shortcomings more clearly. Therefore, there will always be a point in time where you're not happy with the art you are making. The important part is how you handle such feelings; do you become more productive or do you let it stifle your creative life?

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    Yeah I feel that way too lately. Makes me just want to strip all of my art off the net and start over. But that's what I did last time I felt this way and it didn't really help. I find the only thing that seems to help me is watching painting tutorials on youtube or going back and brushing up on the very basics. Once I see some new approach or technique to try I get excited and think it might cure my total hackyness, so I work on it obsessively until I feel better.

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    Quote Originally Posted by JFierce View Post
    Keep record, and then go waaaaaay back to your old drawings from a year or so ago. Then think to yourself "Oh hey I've improved!"

    Then go do more drawings
    I'd have to second this. I've got the first thing I drew from a year and a half ago when I first started. Whenever I'm feeling down I can just look at that, everything feels all peachy.

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    It happens. It will happen again, no matter how "good" you get. Push through it and come out the other side.


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    Quote Originally Posted by JJacks View Post
    The important part is how you handle such feelings; do you become more productive or do you let it stifle your creative life?
    I do my best to keep the moping drool and snot off the drawing paper LOL
    And have an occasional brief (minutes to an hour or so) pity parties.... and mope around the forum begging for hugz and attention ROFL

    Yea, ok, I've never been guilty of suffering in silence, so it goes.....

    Thanks for all the nice replies, they're much appreciated. Hubby dragged me off for a quick dinner too.

    Maybe it's the stage fright about the life drawing class that's getting to me. I keep telling myself I've done it once already and did well for a beginner, and I'm making myself take it again to keep practicing, and not avoid the uncomfortable.... But, I've been getting in rank moods, and sitting here looking at the simple homework of copying figures with proportions, beating myself up side the head about how I suck at it.
    (I posted the scans of them in my sketchbook thread, in case anyone wants to see how objective or not I'm being - link in the sig)

    I don't know waht's gotten into me, there's seldom a skill where I feel nervous about, or like 'I'll never get it', short of serious physical limitation, and I'm no stranger to hard work, lots of it. For some idiotic reason I've gotten it into my head that I should be better at this, at this point, and no matter the amount of self talk about that being a really stupid idea has managed to get me out of the funk.

    ...and, compared to what is expected in the class I'm doing well above the average (so the teacher tells me, and well, when I look around at what other students are doing too....

    What's super frustrating is, I can't put my finger on why I have those stupid expectations. It's really frustrating when logic goes in one direction, and feelings go in the 180 opposite direction.... or .... I totally lost patience with my own feelings, if they were two people my logic would inflict a shaken baby syndrome on my feelings.

    I'm thinking maybe talking about it where other people read it will force me to get to the bottom of it.... Damn human condition... I just feel like running in a circle really fast, till I can kick my own bum. Blargh.

    I keep threatening I'm going to pick up a copy of the Art and Fear book Noah keeps recommending. I saw my teacher has it in his library, I'm going to raid it tomorrow and at least thumb through it.

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    You know what's good for what ails you? Helping some newbie out. Looking at other people's horrible art problems can't help but cheer you up, and they'll be happy get some input. Everybody wins!

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    This is my first set of gesture sketches in the first figure drawing ever... this last june:
    http://www.conceptart.org/forums/sho...8&postcount=52

    and this is what I'm all discombobulated about, drawn yesterday:
    http://www.conceptart.org/forums/att...1&d=1326696854
    http://www.conceptart.org/forums/att...1&d=1326740449

    I've suddenly regressed into this chicken scratchy scribbly linework... *headdesk* Although, even though awkward, the faces are actually looking a little bit like faces, instead of leaving them blank because I'm afraid to touch them.

    Maybe I've become more conscious of proportions and more hesitant to do intuitive stuff, like I did at the beginning of the first class. Maybe what bugs me is that when I'm learning I'm usually aware of what's going on or where I am in the learning process, and this one... I don't know what's up.
    Yea, I can be a control freak....

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    Quote Originally Posted by Conniekat8 View Post
    This is my first set of gesture sketches in the first figure drawing ever... this last june:
    http://www.conceptart.org/forums/sho...8&postcount=52

    and this is what I'm all discombobulated about, drawn yesterday:
    http://www.conceptart.org/forums/att...1&d=1326696854
    http://www.conceptart.org/forums/att...1&d=1326740449

    I've suddenly regressed into this chicken scratchy scribbly linework... *headdesk* Although, even though awkward, the faces are actually looking a little bit like faces, instead of leaving them blank because I'm afraid to touch them.

    Maybe I've become more conscious of proportions and more hesitant to do intuitive stuff, like I did at the beginning of the first class. Maybe what bugs me is that when I'm learning I'm usually aware of what's going on or where I am in the learning process, and this one... I don't know what's up.
    Yea, I can be a control freak....
    I'm not sure if this is the same thing, but I find when I learn something new, all of my stuff starts to look really ugly and awkward and it's hard while I learn to properly apply it. Eventually things even out and my work improves - provided I keep drawing.

    Make sense?

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    Quote Originally Posted by rabbit run View Post
    I'm not sure if this is the same thing, but I find when I learn something new, all of my stuff starts to look really ugly and awkward and it's hard while I learn to properly apply it. Eventually things even out and my work improves - provided I keep drawing.

    Make sense?
    Yes, it does Thanks for reminding me of that.

    The more I think of it in the last hour or so, the more It seems it's my momentary heightened awareness of proportions that has temporarily thrown off other stuff. Or a combination of the two, nerves, and more info to process.

    Maybe I'm being too judgmental, but it looks like, compared to the beginning of the last class, I've regressed. I have to go look at my gestures from couple days ago and compare....

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    Quote Originally Posted by Conniekat8 View Post
    Maybe I've become more conscious of proportions and more hesitant to do intuitive stuff, like I did at the beginning of the first class. Maybe what bugs me is that when I'm learning I'm usually aware of what's going on or where I am in the learning process, and this one... I don't know what's up.
    Yea, I can be a control freak....
    Yup, your stuff sucks pretty badly

    Now, seriously, it is not unusual that integrating new things in your routine, means that routine needs to be taken offline. You're now studying proportions, which is a good thing, but this is a very right-brain type of activity, which takes some tome to integrate with more sensitive skills like line quality. It's like adding one of the foundation stones to a building, and which involves tearing the whole place down. Give it some time...

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    I like to look back at my old drawings for the nostalgia, especially the pieces that I drew for my stories. It is usually enough to remind me why I began drawing, and to get me started drawing my stories again. Right now I am making a map for one of the stories I am writing, and developing a scene for a landscape.

    A key thing to remember when learning to draw bumpy objects, such as a person or a horse, is to remember them in terms of simpler forms. This is especially crucial in drawing from imagination. This is why many professional artists say if you want to draw from imagination, you want to know how to render basic forms in perspective first. When it comes to drawing from referencing, you can still use these simpler forms to establish the proportions and perspective. You can also do what they call a "block-in", which consists of drawing shadow shapes, then you shade all of the shadow parts a light value gradually going darker. Most amateur artists neglect these practices because it doesn't make a cool drawing.

    Last edited by Vay; January 18th, 2012 at 02:05 AM.
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    In comparing the pictures, it seems like you are more tense in the two recent links. You are very good, but I think it would help if you could just relax a bit more, you know, looser pencil strokes or more hand movement. Reeeeeelax and have a cold drink

    Keep working at it man, we all have our down times but like it was said before they come and go. Soon enough you'll be wondering to yourself why you were getting worked up over it

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    Quote Originally Posted by eezacque@xs4all.nl View Post
    Yup, your stuff sucks pretty badly
    Hey hey, I'm doing a darn good job beating myself up without help

    Quote Originally Posted by eezacque@xs4all.nl View Post
    Now, seriously, it is not unusual that integrating new things in your routine, means that routine needs to be taken offline. You're now studying proportions, which is a good thing, but this is a very right-brain type of activity, which takes some tome to integrate with more sensitive skills like line quality. It's like adding one of the foundation stones to a building, and which involves tearing the whole place down. Give it some time...
    Yea, it makes sense. I guess I was due for a brief meltdown, I think it's been building for a little while. .... I'll live ... I think.

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    ok, ok, I made myself draw another one... there's hope yet. bedtime... class tomorrow

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    Do exercises. No serious, have-to-be-awesome finished artwork, just exercises. That don't necessarily need to be shown to anyone else. Anatomy, perspective, that sort of thing.

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    Ignore your ego and keep drawing. Reading books about drawin/painting usually sets my mind in the right mode if I'm down. Keep things simple and logical for your self. People who get far technically work often. Do you work often?

    Edit: never think that working slow or being slow is a bad thing. Musical virtuosos who play with great speed always stress that they only stick to the tempo where they play well, and no faster. Sure, they can increase the tempo over time, as long as they play well. This also applies to drawing.

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    Does this sound familiar.

    1. God I am aweful at doing hands (or whatever)
    2. Decision to do some hand studies to improve on that area
    3. Looks at first hand studies, heart sinks, god these look aweful!
    4. Confidence lost

    If this or some variant of it seems at all familiar you need to realise it is an irrational response and try to get over it. Its irrational because if those studies looked really good then YOU WOULD NOT BE NEEDING TO DO THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE. Of course they are bad, that is the whole point!

    On a side note your SB is looking really nice to me!

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    your life drawings are better because they're from life. when you can feel real mass before you, you will make weightier drawings. keep it real.

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    Quote Originally Posted by AndreasM View Post
    Ignore your ego ....
    *gasp*
    That's going to be tough LOLOL

    oh, I thumbed through the 'art and fear' book in class today... I'm definitely going to have to get it!

    Also, what helped is that I got a bit of an ego and confidence boost in the classes today.

    I think also, what seems to play into it a bit is that after so many years hating my first career, I'm finally making it happen to do what I always wanted to do in the first place.... I always thought that with some training and focus I'd make a half ways decent artist eventually... so the stakes are kind of high.
    I have no reasonable fears that it won't happen, since most of it is about putting in work and do it intelligently, which I know I can do, and as far as putting in the work, I'm quite obsessive about it. But, every so often I get in a little bit of a funk, that I can't completely figure out why it's happening.

    Thanks a million everyone for advice and encouragement *group hug*

    Last edited by Conniekat8; January 19th, 2012 at 09:25 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Conniekat8 View Post
    *gasp*
    That's going to be tough LOLOL
    C'mon, we all ignore your ego, why cannot you? pld:

    Also, what helped is that I god a bit of an ego and confidence boost in the classes today.
    Life is like a lollipop: you cannot suck forever!

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    You have permission to suck at things you haven't mastered yet. It's much more embarrassing to suck at something you are absolutely great at.

    Last edited by CreativeSage; January 19th, 2012 at 02:28 AM. Reason: spelling
    "Now punch that laziness in the face!" -Bobby Chiu
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    Quote Originally Posted by eezacque@xs4all.nl View Post
    C'mon, we all ignore your ego, why cannot you? pld:

    *gasp*, you're soo onto me, it's not even funny.


    You know, it's hard to be me



    [--------------------------------> kitty ducking and giddily running before she gets twapped up-side the head]

    Last edited by Conniekat8; January 19th, 2012 at 09:28 PM.
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