critique asian lady
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  1. #1
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    Wasp critique asian lady

    Hey guys, would like some critique on this one. It's a drawing of one of my friends; one of the things I'm most worried about is the head though (changed the size multiple times), I was experimenting with the colors but the umbrella still looks bland to me, and the composition still feels iffy for some reason... Anyways, any input is appreciated!

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    TinyBird is offline Why you gotta be an angry burd Level 16 Gladiator: Spartacus' Retiarii
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    Well, if tha tis supposed to be a Japanese wagasa, it looks really huge. I think there's different sizes to them depending on their use, but that really is much larger than any I've seen, and also completely lopsided, considering we aren't seeing it straight from below, but from a side ways/below angle.
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    Yep...and more accuracy...less style will help a great deal.

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    I don't know about less style but definitely less... speed. Right now it looks like you wanted to complete this very fast rather than very well.

    consider this as a colour preliminary. Now's your chance to go about and get some references for the head, parasol, hand and clothing folds. Either paint directly on a new layer or put a light white layer over this and sketch in a new drawing based on the refs (whichever is your normal process)

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    I love it so far. I'm a big fan of the expression and the colors. I like that you're communicating so much through the varying color temperatures. I think it's a pretty solid piece particularly the energy with which it's painted. I like the positioning of the umbrella, but I agree that it needs a bit of engineering. Great refs above from tinybird for that already! Maybe toss it into greyscale and have a look at your value range. It looks a bit tight. A bit of flexing towards middle darks may be the finishing touch you need.

    Please Sir, I'd like some more.

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    I suggest working on the perspective of the umbrella. Also simplify the hand into a more elegant feminine shape and do the same with her forearm and wrist. I would warm up the highlights on the flesh on the left facing planes. I really like the colors and the brush work in the dress.

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    Okay maybe it's just me, but imho her head isn't working together with the perspective, also seems to big. It could be also the stylization (don't get me wrong, I really like the style) that I interprete a slight upview.
    Also overthink the shadows cast. You defined shadows coming from upside, so the umbrella is supposed to cast a big shadow too.



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    Quote Originally Posted by Swamp Thing View Post
    Okay maybe it's just me, but imho her head isn't working together with the perspective, also seems to big. It could be also the stylization (don't get me wrong, I really like the style) that I interprete a slight upview.
    Also overthink the shadows cast. You defined shadows coming from upside, so the umbrella is supposed to cast a big shadow too.

    In the original, the OP has her jaw more slack, like her teeth were not clenched, so your version shows more the bottom of her jaw, really throwing off the face.

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    I reckon it's a good start.
    I'll just add that, from the thumbnail, the values are looking to be all the same.
    Look over it once more, in thumbnail size, and set up the values further.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jason Rainville View Post
    I don't know about less style but definitely less... speed. Right now it looks like you wanted to complete this very fast rather than very well.
    Critique and WIP section is a perfect place for fast-and-loose first drafts, though. So much easier to make big changes. I'd rather people post things at this level of finish than something they've invested a lot of time into. Would definitely advise against posting anything that's "completed".






    Anyway, rex, technical flaws aside, I appreciate the color choices and that you went with contrast through hues rather than values, in the way a lot of impressionists did it. In fact if you've chosen this direction I'd try to push the palette even further and see how much light and shadow you can get with just color.

    As already been said, work out the arm/hand anatomy a bit, and if you can get your hands on a real umbrella, draw it separately from different angles so you can work out its structure and how to depict it, and only then put it into the painting. I like that the umbrella is huge, but it has perspective issues.

    Also take a look a that dog or whatever that is. Currently it has a very awkward position, its butt is sticking out too far back, the angle of the front paws is odd and gives the impression that the animal is falling off of the shoulder.

    Overall the piece has good feel to it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by OmenSpirits View Post
    In the original, the OP has her jaw more slack, like her teeth were not clenched, so your version shows more the bottom of her jaw, really throwing off the face.
    Sorry if my face is different, I didn't concentrate on trying to copy it, if it was wrong interpreted: I was by no means intending to suggest how her face should be looking like, I was mainly concerned about the perspective on her head in relation to the perspective on her body. How her face is supposed to look like and what direction she is turning her head never was my intention.

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    Wow thanks for all the input so far. Sorry I didn't respond sooner; was pretty busy last week so I didn't have much time to work on this. I tweaked it a bit since then

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    I think rather than turn the head of the girl turn the head of the fox! have it looking down a little or interacting a bit more with her. If she is looking in that direction it is likely the fox would look at least a little in the same direction.

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