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  1. #1
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    Need critque on this please

    so ive been working on this one for a while, i would have liked to get some input while working on it but i don't have internet at home. This is to be used as a ref for a oil painting. looking for opinions on whether stuff looks right and is readable, on the composition and colors.

    thanks for stopping by

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  3. #2
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    This looks like it'll be sic! This sideways composition gives me a Normal Rockwellish feeling, I love it! I would desaturate the V's in the back a little more but that's just personal opinion. I think it would also be sick if you brought the camera angle even lower to give it a more menacing feeling, but that's just again my likes. Nice!!

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  5. #3
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    I like this.

    Calculate the light from the torches with more precision, though. Make them all consistent with each other.

    Maybe try making the floor darker, and play with the contrast.

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    Looks good. You put in some serious time with the design and it shows.

    I think the main problem here is the way the thing reads. There are basically six very bright spots, a row of heads, and everything else is extremely dark. My eye goes straight to the torches, and then looks at the strong line of Guy Fawkeses, and then, as an afterthought, notices there's a girl, a pig and a headless cop. I sort of doubt that's what you intended.

    If it were me, I'd push the entire background more to the midrange and really kick up the edge lights on the foreground figures. Paintover below.

    Need critque on this please

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  9. #5
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    Good stuff.
    Only thing I have to add aside from the other comments is that I get a strong (and distracting) sense of the cop's head/face feeling cut and pasted on. Maybe that goes along with the theme here or not?

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    I love it. The one thing that jars is the single mask that is obscured by one of the torches - just above the bowl. Makes me want to look round the flame.

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    Wow! Really cool image. I'd think about filling out the background with more figures and varying the saturation amongst them. You may also want to consider whether you really need the band of empty space along the bottom of the canvas. Cropping this out may give you a more theatrical panoramic feeling and focus the image on the gaze between the two main characters.

    Please Sir, I'd like some more.

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  15. #8
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    tandy1000: thanks, i was considering a lower angle but i didnt have the space to stand back with the camera in my apartment when taking the photos.

    arenhaus: yeah the torches aret totally consistant yet because ive not changed them much from the refs.... i will get on it. i have darkened the floor you'll see when i post an update.

    giacomo: wow thanks that really helps, guess i couldnt see it looking at the image so much. first thing i'll do is bring the crowd up to a mid tone in value.

    wooblood: it is pasted on lol, not ment to look that way ill get on it thanks

    black spot: that is rather distracting, ill try moving it.

    rseward: thanks, yes i hope to add more people to the crowd and have more perspective . also i think youre right taking some of the ground away is an improvement.

    thanks again to all who commented, ill get on the ccorrections and post an update at some stage tomorow.

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  16. #9
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    i would suggest making it darker and pushing everything back...

    quick op...

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  18. #10
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    Ok this is really a nice composition, and it doesn't need a long explanation of what the story is about which is really nice to see. And it is weird, which is of course delightful. The think I like in Sone_one's overpaint (although a tad dark for my taste) is that you can really see the rhythm of the heads. In your original the up and down flow is interrupted by the flame glow so it's one flat line of reds. I also like that in his the fog effect around their heads is behind them, not in front - gives a feeling of atmospheric depth.

    cheers

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  20. #11
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    Sone_one: great thanks for the PO, i really liked the mood in it, definitely what i was looking for. though i thought the crowd was too dark, they are an important narrative in the piece.

    justa: i lessened the glow and desaturated the crowd, do you think it reads better now?

    anyone think i should go even darker?

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  21. #12
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    It's reading much better now.

    I'm bothered by the position of the seated figure. His foot and knee are behind the cauldron, but his right arm is stirring it. I would think that would mean that arm would have to cross his chest much more sharply and the torso twist at the waist (and it would be an awkward sort of pose).

    I was once on the receiving end of a critique so savagely nasty, I marched straight out of class to the office and changed my major (sketchbook).
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  23. #13
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    stoat: thanks. yeah there is a slight overlap, i will move the pot to the left a bit to correct this.

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  24. #14
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    HI

    Re the cauldron - I'd move it back into the picture, so he is actually sitting dead in front of it with knees on either side. perhaps he could have burn marks on the inner knee or thigh?

    I do like the colors better but I think you can still get away with reducing the orange glow and have it still work

    cheers

    D,

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  26. #15
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    i agree with stoat, and his toes are in the fire, but it looks amazing overall!
    the little girl makes a really nice image by herself

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  27. #16
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    LOVE this composition. Don't have much crit other than what has already been posted, and I do think it reads better now that you've darkened it. I'd just kick up those highlights as much as you can, and really play that firelight. *thumbs up*

    This picture already creeps me the hell out, can't wait to see the finished piece!

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    Quote Originally Posted by rattsang View Post
    anyone think i should go even darker?
    If you're going to print this out and use it as a color key for an actual oil painting, you will need to make it a LOT brighter overall unless you're going for an Ad Reinhardt black-on-black look. You can eyedropper the colors and get a sense of what I'm talking about. The highlight on the girl's leg is C25 M78 Y99 K17--which if you view it in isolation is a dark burnt orange. And the rest of the image only gets darker. JPEG attached.

    Also, at the risk of repeating myself: those torches in the background are really pulling the viewer's focus away from the main figures. Still.

    Need critque on this please

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  29. #18
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    justa: i have moved the pot and will post an update along with the other corrections next time i get on the net. Also i will try lowering the glow more to see what that looks like.

    velocity kendall: thanks

    kellye: thanks, yep ill be kicking up the highlights once the general tone is set and everything is positioned. i cant wait to see it either, hope i can do it justice.

    giacomo: the contrast seems low in a digital image because im using a limited value range so it will translate into oil paint without too many corrections. but saying that i will do a paintover with lighter areas and darker torches.

    thanks guys

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  30. #19
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    hhi guys here is an update. i added more contrast, took some of the punch out of the torches, lessened the glow from the torches moved the pot......


    any more advice?

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  31. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giacomo View Post
    If you're going to print this out and use it as a color key for an actual oil painting, you will need to make it a LOT brighter overall unless you're going for an Ad Reinhardt black-on-black look. You can eyedropper the colors and get a sense of what I'm talking about. The highlight on the girl's leg is C25 M78 Y99 K17--which if you view it in isolation is a dark burnt orange. And the rest of the image only gets darker. JPEG attached.

    Also, at the risk of repeating myself: those torches in the background are really pulling the viewer's focus away from the main figures. Still.

    Need critque on this please
    well, true... yet why print it at all? i guess hes got a screen to show the ref, with all the relationships in place. why complicate it with a technical transfer (with alot of difficulties involved, otherwise there wouldnt be people making a living calibrating things), and potentialy lose impact by making trade-offs.

    this is ment to get an idea what to aim for ... dont let it be obscured by tech stuff... i mean its hard enough as it is already.

    in the end it doesnt matter which value your light is... it just matters that its relation to everything else works and it supports your goal.

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  32. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by rattsang View Post
    any more advice?
    well yeah im biased, but id get rid of all that unneccessary detail in the crowd... either your audience wants to investigate your product (then youve got some candy for them), or they dont, then you lost anyway.

    i think the notion of "but i want that to read" is a trap. whats your prime statement? do that and subordinate everything else or youll lose it. now people looking at it, want it to make sense to them so theyll investigate anyway... provide some fun for them having to solve some riddles instead of putting the honey right into their mouths.. they wont have the feeling its as sweet as if theyd have to accomplish something to get it.

    well thats my opinion right now... it might not be true for you, or for me in 2 weeks, but right now... its feels to be completely true

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  34. #22
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    sone_one: yes i would agree with you on that, i guess its just hard for me to tell when its my own painting.


    i have reduced the crowd and glow some more and added some vague clouds in the sky.

    any thoughts on the cropping or general arrangement?, anyone think there sould be lessor more space on any side. or that maybe i should reposition any of the torches or main figures.

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