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  1. #1
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    Constructive feedback requested

    I'm looking for some constructive criticism for this piece. It's a sci-fi take on a centaur.

    I'm trying for a blend of organic and cybernetic, and so far i have no real direction for a backdrop to the piece.

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  2. #2
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    Im not sure if i can give you anything concrete to this piece since its suffering from a general lack of understanding of form and anatomy.

    If you want to design a creature perhaps start with silhouettes, many of them, work in plain black only. Your linework is very messy and i think its hindering you more than helping you. in future try to draw with as few lines as possible, each line should be there for a reason!

    Try to work in the "sci fi" and centaur more clearly, its not showing at all right now. With the sword and shield is looks more like a fantasy character actually.

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  4. #3
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    I do do thumbs, but thanks for the other advice.


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    Perhaps there's a problem in your thumbnailing process, then. How many did you do for this piece, for example? Could you possibly post some of them?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nezumi Works View Post
    Perhaps there's a problem in your thumbnailing process, then.
    Agreed, especially if you still have no real direction for the background. That's part what you'll do thumbnails for.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bette View Post
    Try to work in the "sci fi" and centaur more clearly, its not showing at all right now.
    I agree with this. In my opinion, you should try to make a mini style guideline for this piece.
    Decide what qualities will be definitively mechanical (shiny, solidly geometric, LEDs littered about, cool colors, etc,) and what will definitively be organic (rounded masses, warm hues, "squishy" looking, veiny, hairy, etc.) Try to push the conceptual contrast (as opposed to technically contrast, like making one dark and contrasty and the other bright and foggy) enough that they're instantly recognizable as being their own separate elements, but not so much that they look like different, separated objects altogether.

    Then again, over-thinking the piece might be detrimental to its one core goal: to communicate a design quickly and effectively.

    Experiment! Make mistakes! ... And whatever else the teacher from The Magic School Bus said every episode!

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    Thanks for the feedback.

    For this piece i only did a couple of thumbs before i found this one that i liked. I guess I could have done a bunch more variations of this particular version to nail the finer points.

    Bette: the anatomy is supposed to be twisted and wrong (i mean its an alien cyborg centaur, is there a right anatomy for that?) but some of my form work could be better.

    I'm trying to work the sci-fi in a bit better.

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    (i mean its an alien cyborg centaur, is there a right anatomy for that?
    Even fictional anatomy to be realistic, it has to be grounded in reality, so yeah. Right now the humanoid part is way too large and looks a lot more heavy than the lizard (?) part. I seriously doubt those forelegs would be able to hold the weight well enough for him to move around comfortably. I think he would be very unbalanced in the least.

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    good point.

    how's this. I will add some additional mechanical support later. I think the change has also made the stance far more dynamic.

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    Last edited by toastergargletop; September 19th, 2011 at 07:17 PM.

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    So i used the cut out filter to break the image down into some slabs of tone, and I've begun to go back over it. I'm not sure if this is working, or even how to make it work. I don't usually work this way.

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    Last edited by toastergargletop; September 19th, 2011 at 08:38 PM.

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    The most recent one has a MUCH better silhouette, most importantly around the head. Could stand to push just a little more in that area, but it's definitely an improvement.

    The cut at the waist on the right seems a bit too much, as if it's cutting into the torso rather than being a joint of sorts. Perhaps widen the "belt" or arch the back a bit more to make it look more natural.

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    I just noticed there seems to be some influence from Predator . Is it coincidental?

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  16. #13
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    I do love me some shoulder mounted cannons, but if you mean the dreadlocks, they are more inspired by Games Workshops Adeptus Mechanicus.




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    Another thing I should note, I don't know how important it is but with all the bulky shoulder armor and huge gun this guy is going to have some serious blind spot on his right side, field of vision to maybe 120 degrees.. just sayin'

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  18. #15
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    I was thinking the same thing THEMike. I was thinking about reducing the armour and moving the cannon to the lower body, (actually i was thinking still shoulder mounted, but different shoulder ).

    Nezumi: Can you explain what you mean by pushing it further?


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  19. #16
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    Oh, basically finding ways to make the head silhouette more clear, so that if you blacked out the character you'd be able to identify what it's doing, etc. The body silhouette looks pretty decent at this point.

    Careful of tangents between the shield and leg.

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  20. #17
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    Smaller size for posting purposes. Shoulder cannon is now an arm cannon/shield. It needs a bit of rotation now that i look at it.

    Tried to fix up the torso joint a little.

    I think I might need to shift the head over to the right a little.

    Then there is just everything else that needs fixing! simple......

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  21. #18
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    Does your character have a neck? It's not apparent right now.

    The last image gives me the impression we're looking at the character from above, which can be a nicely dramatic angle. Just make sure your ground plane (and thus foot positions) match up in perspective. Also be careful of the foreshortening on the raised arm, you'll really need to sell that to make the pose work.

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