Heeeey. I've immigrated over from DeviantArt. I was kinda always nervous about this site since I considered it for the "big fish" only. But a few years have passed, and to paraphrase one of your users, "Deviantart is only good for asspats". I mean, I appreciate whatever asspats I can get over on good ole DA, but I need some more feedback to work with if I'm gonna get to a professional level. So in short -- in need of advice and critiquing here.
So this is what I've got. The reason I want help is I feel like there's something off about the composition. And it makes me frown. Er... I've never actually studied composition or taken classes. Since discovering them I've been reading the tutorials about it on this site (and thank you, they're very helpful) but I still feel like I'm in the dark. As far as this piece goes, do you guys have any suggestions?
Hnnn, looking now, I kinda feel like his ribs are all wrong, and like his hand isn't supporting her properly. But I think I'll wait for a second opinion before I do any overhauls, I might just be nitpicking.
I feel like I'm ranting. Anyways -- would it help you guys to critique if you had some info/story behind the piece, closeups, or if I posted some of the older WIPs?
Thanks in advance.
Your colors are very nice and the rendering looks good.
The thing that seems the most off to me is the creature coming in from the right. Not only is it in direct profile to us (which makes it seem flat and disconnected from the rest of the scene), it also seems odd that it's cut off where it is.
I suggest you give the girl's feet some room and some space to the creature as well. If it's going to be a focal point of the image, let it be in the image. If you just want to subtly hint at it, consider showing even less of it- an ominous cast shadow the man is looking at, or an indistinct figure looming in the corner foreground.
Eyestrain already pointed out all that I was going to say. Here's a sloppy paintover, apologies for butchering your image. I've mainly tried to include the creature more in the frame. It's not in profile view anymore, it should be turned towards the figures so there's some sort of interaction. I also scaled back the figures to push them deeper into the space.
edit: I didn't notice it earlier, but his knee makes that area look like she has a weird twisted butt. You might want to look into that -darken the knee or so.
I think you first need to decide what your image is about. Right now I"m confused. Did she faint? If she fainted why is her arm out towards the monster? That seems like a gesture of longing or something. Why isn't the man holding her closer if this is a scary monster? What's his expression of? Is he afraid? He looks kind of apathetic to the whole situation. As they say, this is your party, so everything you think of will help you make that much of a better piece.
What's his right foot doing on the left side of his body? Everything is squished to the bottom right of the composition, and it's not in perspective realistically.
There's really just general advice I can give you too. Start with thumbnails in grayscale, to get the values. Pick a light source. Draw everything out thoroughly -- even things that are behind other things. It'll help you place your objects, really. Think about how people would actually react in that situation and draw their expressions, poses accordingly. GET into the man's pose. Feel what it's like to lift a 140 lb body, then look in the mirror to see what kind of pose that makes. And the biggie --
Use Reference for EVERYTHING.
Thanks so much guys!
eyestrain: You're right, as soon as you mentioned the feet I noticed they looked cramped in.
Iridyse: Thanks so much! I knew it was the creature that was exacerbating the composition issues, I just didn't know how to go about changing it. They look a lot better in that position and that fixes my problem that eyestrain pointed out about the space. Also I think that position for the creature is far superior. Compared to that version, in the original the skull guy looks copy-pasted in. It's much more integrated now. Next chance I get I'll work the idea in.
I knew this would pay off. Thanks again fellas.
OH, and yeah. There's still little things that need fixing like the knee/butt coloration and stuff. I've noticed them to, and I'm on it.
Oop, sorry RyerOrdStar, you slipped past me. I get what you're saying. Hrm, would it help if I posted the story? I'll show you some of the WIPs, since I think they'd shed some light. There's still some stuff to be added in, like the guy's other arm, which I kinda feel helps convey the mood. I'll post the other WIPs then.
His other hand was supposed to be cradling her head, which I think would give off a much more protective gesture. And since the pic was supposed to be some kind of commentary on obsessive love (or infatuation, or what have you) in the original pic parts of them were sewn together to emphasize that, accounting for the unnatural position of her arm. I still wasn't sure if I wanted to keep that idea for the final pic, but I left the positions as they were anyways, figuring I could change them later if I shed that plan. But yeah... it's yet to be added, but that's what the scheme of it was.
This would probably have been more helpful to know at the get-go, sorry bout that. But would that help with some of the issues, do you think?
Last edited by Hallowing; September 7th, 2011 at 12:49 AM.
If they're supposed to be sewn together, why is the girl's arm sewn to her head?
Also you may want to change the guy's expression as it looks kind of reminicent of Flynn Rider's(Tangled) smoulder.
The similarity grows less and less each time I look at your image, but it was my first impression, at least on the first posted picture.
Sorry I couldn't be more helpful :/
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star, you’ll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren’t so lazy. Goodbye.” - Terry Pratchett
mazetta: Haha, no, thanks a lot. For one, you made me LOL, and two, when others said, "Eh, his face should be changed" I kinda thought: "Really? I... still kinda like it though".
But now I'm all for: YEP IT NEEDS CHANGING PRONTO.
I was just being dumb when I attached them to her head. And was reminding myself that there WERE attachments. I kinda forgot for a good while why exactly her arm was supposed to be hanging into space. But the first picture, with no shading, is what his and her hand was supposed to be looking like. But less neat, kinda gross with the threads tugging the skin up. Buuut I still dunno if I want to keep the idea. :/