Last edited by olivercartwright; August 27th, 2011 at 07:00 AM.
Ok I waited 1 minute for the video to do its thing. That is LONG past the expiration date for people's interests holding cohesively. At the end of the one minute, I was looking at a vague boring starfish shaped object.
At this point, if I was not doing a review or considering hiring you. I would have rolled my eyes at the pseudo music and marked it as an obnoxious splash screen. Fortunately there are links to escape to. I stayed and ffwd through the video and it never evolves into anything more interesting that a painfully slow geometric show. We have people on Abrahadabra who do kymotropic videos that are very exciting to watch, so I have nothing against geometry.
Page 1 of work:
Some images are very strong, others look "highschool". Page 2 starts with a very strong opener, I thought "Why not use these skills you developed in the auto industry more?" i do not even know the first thing about industrial design but this looks like art and engineering fusion and that is fresh.
The 2nd and 3rd image on the 2nd page are both a little dull, I've seen Apophysis spit out more interesting content.
Page 3 starts out with a very strong opener, followed by a flying noodle person that resembles supergirl fleeing a herd of tapeworms...
The record sleeve after her is one of the strongest images of the whole "feather fiber" technique. It's very stark and very pro
Overall I think you could stand to lose a lot of the "feather fiber" images and limit it to one or two of your best.
Next we have a good logo for Robert Koch which I read as "Robot Kock" which made it incredibly more awesome. Too bad.
Following this we have a gaping furry monster vagina. No.
The Japanese advert truck is win
Page 4 has another strong opener....
I actually like this whole page except the "typographic" You could keep anything here. I like the flower covered girl because of the way you show process.
Page 5 is very weak. Pass.
Ok the fish I like. I would actually use that as a banner emblem. People should be able to queue up a "memory image" of your site. If I think of your site now all I see is lots of black things. Some little icon at the top that represents your work would be appropriate.
If I was just perusing your site and not doing a full review, there are two places I might have stopped: at the video intro....or at page 1, since I did not find anything very interesting there. Going through each page did reward me with some excellent work, so I am a little confused why it has been buried, and why you feel you must present everything.
I have been told, by my betters here thast 10-15 images is all you need and want for a portfolio review. You can put everything else in a separate link or category if people want to see more. But capturing people's attention within a few seconds time is key. Your video is not helping you at all. There is nothing, not even a cool logo at the top to distract from the boring-ness of one minute of creepy starfish drawing.
I'd rather see a really cool static jpeg image of say, the fish, right away upon entering the site, than a complicated video that I do not have the patience to watch and is not real rewarding. You cannot force a meditative state on people, especially when they are at your site to work or think.
No critique here, just wanted to tell you that you have a lot of amazing stuff to look at. I wanted to see more! As far as I'm concerned keep all your images...don't take a single one out. I think I would have been more into the intro animation if it was on a big HD screen...and I was on shrooms
The ballpoint pen stuff is sick! And what is that in the MY MACHINE section? Etchings? Really cool.
I think you should do what allot of artists are doing and collate your images into a gallery where the viewer can see all of your work spread over only one or two pages in thumbnail form but from which they can also choose to view larger images.
I think you should also have a different but obvious section for the videos, I had no idea they were in there and it feels little unprofessional when you get surprised by something on a site, you should know where it all is easily.
I love some of these, especially the first image, although I initially hated it because I read it as an extremely simple face rather than the side on view of a girl with awesome hair.
as far as the 'high school' images go, the ones I thought were of a lower level, although not really high school, were the ones where you have a half portrait abstracted with your line device. The anatomy leaves allot to be desired, it doesn't look stylized, it looks wrong.
I love your line based style, especially when it takes the form of hair, it is very aesthetically pleasing to me for some reason.
as far as the 'its hard to get critism on this site' comment goes, yeah, I feel ya there. but occasionally you get some helpful advice, so I think its worth it overall to post here.
sketchbook - need to update this...
Hi, Hello everybody, I come from China, English is not good, completely rely on google translation, thanks to google, I am a former painter, and we hope that more exchanges, if not read, I am sorry