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  1. #1
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    What's the most outrageous thing a customer has said to you?

    I'm not sure how many of you work/have worked in retail (or any job that you have to deal with customers), but I would assume quite a few

    My current job is I'm an "account manager" at a call center. All that really means is when the regular phone rep can't do the job, for whatever reason, the customer gets transferred to me. Needless to say there's a lot more pissed people.

    I have to hear all the excuses/explanations as to why the person didn't payoff their promo in time, and why they have $2000.00 in interest all of a sudden. People crying, yelling, screaming, cursing, etc - day in, day out.

    So, I get this one lady, but she's not listed to speak on the credit card that's her husband's. I deny her information, and in a nutshell she ends up screaming at me to go hell and I can suck Satan's cock, or someone's cock, I don't remember. I just said "have fun getting into your account", and that was pretty much it.

    Great way to start off the day. Goes with the territory, I guess.

    What are some of your stories?
    Last edited by MatthewHD; August 5th, 2011 at 02:39 AM.
    Sketchbook: There and Back again Updated- 7/04/12


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  3. #2
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  5. #3
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    I have an opposite story.
    I was wearing a red shirt at target once and the manager told me to tuck it in. I looked at her confused. She then said "I'm gonna have to write you up". I was like "Write me up?" She said I obviosly didn't value my job. So I responded appropiately "Bitch I don't work here." She then responded appropriately "oh" and walked away. Giggles could be heard throughout the store.

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  7. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raoul Duke View Post
    I have an opposite story.
    I was wearing a red shirt at target once and the manager told me to tuck it in. I looked at her confused. She then said "I'm gonna have to write you up". I was like "Write me up?" She said I obviosly didn't value my job. So I responded appropiately "Bitch I don't work here." She then responded appropriately "oh" and walked away. Giggles could be heard throughout the store.
    Me, I would have first let her go through the whole process of writing me up, perhaps backchatting a bit as well so that she would institute even more stringent procedures. ;-)
    ____________________________________________
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  9. #5
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    Another opposite (sorry).

    I used to work at a fast food place, and one day a customer came in looking exactly like Dr. Emmett Brown from Back to the Future. I nudged my workmate and nodded at him, and didn't need to say anything before he realised the resemblance.

    He comes up to the counter and I start to take his order, then he asks:

    "Are you okay?"

    Me: "Yes, sorry," (weirdly flustered) "It's just you reminded me of-"

    Him: "Back to the Future?"

    - I look at my workmate, we're both really surprised and laugh. After apologizing and finishing his order, he laughs and before walking to his seat he shouts

    "GREAT SCOTT!"


    Awesome guy.

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  11. #6
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    I used to work at a somewhat fancy resraurant which is divided into two main areas, and each worker is assigned to a specific area because the place is overflowing with customers at lunch time. And I remember that at the specific time, 2 of our workers were absent so it was a huge hassle and I was taking the order of like, 15 tables at once.

    So my assigned area ran out of salt containers, so I quickly skipped over to the other area, and then all of a sudden this woman with one crippled leg grabs me by the arm and goes ''YOURE GONNA SOLVE MY ORDER PROBLEM''. I was like ''WHAT?!I'm sorry ma'am, but I have to go back to my-'' ''NO, SHUT UP. YOU'RE GONNA SOLVE MY FUCKING PROBLEM'', and then pulls me over somehow(considering she was half crippled) to her table and forces me to solve this issue she had with her order. And well, all this happened in spanish

  12. #7
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    I work in a call centre but i'd prefer to not regurgitate the crap that goes on there.

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  14. #8
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    It's happened to me the other way around:

    A telephone engineer completed a job at my house and remarked on the paintings about the place, a couple of which were nudes painted in my student days.

    2 days later:

    I get a phone call from the telephone engineer: He and his wife attend a nude swimming group held once a month at a private swimming pool and he was wondering if me and my wife would be interested in attending...
    From Gegarin's point of view
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  16. #9
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    I've worked retail for more years than I care to admit with the majority of it spent at an art store.

    The oddest question I was ever asked by a customer was "Got anything that would fix this? It sorta broke...."

    It was a crack pipe.

  17. #10
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    I've worked call centers and receptions mainly, I prefer reception work. Though people expect you to bend over backwards to accomodate their every wish and at the same time treat you like a brainless monkey just there to answer the phone, very weird paradox.

    The worst customer was a really arrogant guy who actually said those words "Don't you know who I am!?" when we wouldn't do something he wanted, I nearly choked I wanted to laugh, I kept it together. Apparently he was a head producer at Film 4.

  18. #11
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    I used to work at a video store. We used to put on these big red stickers and labels on foreign DVDs that had subtitles and even DVDs that were mostly in English that just had some foreign language parts so people wouldn't complain. They were also in their own section...the foreign section. I don't know how many times someone burst in the store and starting screaming "YOU DIDN'T TELL ME I HAD TO READ THIS MOVIE!?"

    This didn't happen to me, but also at the video store we had a porno room. Every time a man saw me fixing something in the porno room they walked right out so I never had any problems with customers. But one night, my best friend was working and at the end of the night he had to straiten up the room. He walked in to a man masturbating on the floor. When he told the man he couldn't do that, his reply was "BUT I'M AN ADULT, I HAVE ID MAN." And it took him and another employee to explain that it was not acceptable to masturbate in the porn room.

    And then there are people that make up their own movie titles and get mad when you don't know what the hell they are talking about. Here's a translation chart of some I can remember

    Munch = Munich
    Dave Smith or any other random male name = Michael Clayton
    Desperate = Disturbia
    Hockey Man = Jason
    Arnold = Terminator

    I won't even get started on the idiots that call in to Sears. Oh god.

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  20. #12
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    I once worked at a grocery store.

    "Do you have fresh squeezed orange juice?"

    "Yeah, we have Tropicana right here."

    "No, I mean fresh squeezed."

    "Well, there's Odwalla juice, that's fresh squeezed."

    "No, it's not."

    "Well, we have some oranges, if you want to make it yourself."

    "No, thank you."

    "Well then, how much would you pay me to squeeze it for you?"

    At that point, he just walked away. There's no pleasing some people.

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  22. #13
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    Whn I worked at Dick Blick in NYc a customer came in and asked me

    "Where are your Utrecht brushes"

    and I replied

    "Probably at Utrecht, we don't sell their brushes here"

    "I've bought Utrecht brushes here before!"
    [url=http://galleryonefone.blogspot.com[/url] This would be my gallery in Sweden

    This would be my Pleine Air blog

  23. #14
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    I worked in a charity shop for my work experience years ago (my only retail experience), a woman came in through the door, walked up to the counter, looked up and exclaimed "WOW! you're so fat!", i promptly told her to fuck off. The manager said not to talk to customers like that and told me not to come back the next day, it was only four days into the work experience so i got a week and a half off!

    also, my home phone number is only one number different to the local doctor's surgery, so I've had a bunch of phone calls that go like this:
    *ring, ring*
    *picks up phone*
    me: hullo?
    ill person: *cough* I need an appointment for *cough* tuesday
    me: oh, I'm afraid you have the wrong number, you're looking for the doctors? it's [insert number]
    ill person: but I called *cough* the doctors.
    me: nope, you called me
    ill person: *cough* No, i definitely called the doctors.
    * I hang up*
    I usually get the same person ringing back five minutes later, this happens four or five times a day.
    what the fuck do they think is happening? when was the last time the doctor's surgery played a prank and pretended to be someone else!
    Last edited by Barefoot; August 8th, 2011 at 07:33 PM.

  24. #15
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    I...take phone calls in the employ of the federal government.

    BEAT. THAT!

    People that don't pay their taxes...are, interesting. (think Im' stupid enough to say something on a forum? HAH).
    Last edited by OmenSpirits; August 9th, 2011 at 07:57 PM.
    "Everything must serve the idea. The means used to convey the idea should be the simplest and clear. Just what is required. No extra images. To me this is a universal principle of art. Saying as much as possible with a minimum of means."
    -John Huston, Director

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  26. #16
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    I work as a writing tutor, so I get a whole lot of demanding students who either couldn't care less about the paper they're writing or are resentful of having to see a tutor. I usually get a fair amount of obnoxious "Why can't you just write it for me?" whining, but last semester, I actually had to get into an argument with a student who swore UP AND DOWN that Dante Alighieri's Divine Comedy was a tragic love story about Dante having to save his lady love from a pact she made with the devil.

    When I asked her whether or not she's actually read the material, she just said, "Well, yea," and then asked me how closely the animated Batman series was to the Odyssey.

  27. #17
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    That's so sad... And that was a horrible animation too, BTW. There was no excuse for it.

  28. #18
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    Not from a customer, but from a doctor's office that called my house a day or two after my Dad had died.

    The lady on the phone was calling to remind him of his appointment, and after I told her to cancel because he'd just died, she says "Okay, when would you like to reschedule?"

    I had to keep from yelling at her, and I repeated what I'd said.

    Still gets me every fucking time. Don't know how someone doesn't hear something like that the first time.

  29. #19
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    ^^

    Something similar happened about a week after my father died, except it was someone calling to settle a credit card debt. My mother told the other person that my father had died. Their response? "Well, where can I reach him to discuss this matter?"

  30. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfgirl View Post
    ^^

    Something similar happened about a week after my father died, except it was someone calling to settle a credit card debt. My mother told the other person that my father had died. Their response? "Well, where can I reach him to discuss this matter?"
    you shoulda told them they could reach him. . . . . . . in hell.
    My sketchbook:

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    My page on Facebook, which I update much more often.

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  31. #21
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    Or, if you like your father (hint, hint, be respectful to other people's losses) you could suggest a church - synagogue, what have you.

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