Work in progress (Looking for a fresh set of eyes)-Updated 7/31

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    Work in progress (Looking for a fresh set of eyes)-Updated 7/31

    I've been working on this for about 2 days now, and I'm getting to a point where I feel I need a fresh set of eyes to just point out everything that went wrong with the picture/composition. I've been staring at it for a while, but I don't want to get into detailing anything too much until I settle for a composition I like.

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  3. #2
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    hmmm, well I think the black outlining is making the figure look a little flat. Also the background and the figure seem disconnected, try to bringing more of those background colors into the figure so that the piece reads as a cohesive illustration. Think about your focal point. When you have a person, the face is where the eye goes to first, that that is where there needs to be the most detail and contrast. The face here has a LOT of contrast, but I feel it needs to be worked more.

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  5. #3
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    BTW...the face DOES have a whole LOT of contrast but I feel it needs more detail. Her coloring seems like its out of place...bring in some of the background color in the face? I'm digging the background.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maggietoh View Post
    hmmm, well I think the black outlining is making the figure look a little flat. Also the background and the figure seem disconnected, try to bringing more of those background colors into the figure so that the piece reads as a cohesive illustration. Think about your focal point. When you have a person, the face is where the eye goes to first, that that is where there needs to be the most detail and contrast. The face here has a LOT of contrast, but I feel it needs to be worked more.
    Thanks. I've been staring at this for a while I kept thinking that something just doesn't seem right. They do seem like they're in two different worlds!

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    If she's meant to have normal human anatomy from the waist up, then she needs a great deal of work. Not just anatomy but proportions as well. Her posture is awfully stiff as well, there's no life to it. Even sitting is an action.

    Even if the anatomy isn't strictly human, or at least stylized, I'd take another look at her arm where it joins her sleeve. At the moment it doesn't really look like the arm is connected to the shoulder under those clothes. It could be made a bit more explicit.

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  9. #6
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    I don't think this is the composition you're looking for. I have no idea what she's doing or what's going on. She's also at the edge of the picture facing out, drawing attention away from the stuff in the background and out of the picture.

    Rethink your purpose here. If this is supposed to show off the nurse and her design then do that without hiding most of the design behind dark blotches. If this is supposed to be an atmospheric piece then maybe reduce the importance of the nurse in the picture. Right now she's the most important thing there (by size and contrast) but she just seems to be placidly passing through. Go back to the composition, figure out what you want this picture to say and maybe we can help you find the composition that shows that.

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  11. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nezumi Works View Post
    If she's meant to have normal human anatomy from the waist up, then she needs a great deal of work. Not just anatomy but proportions as well. Her posture is awfully stiff as well, there's no life to it. Even sitting is an action.

    Even if the anatomy isn't strictly human, or at least stylized, I'd take another look at her arm where it joins her sleeve. At the moment it doesn't really look like the arm is connected to the shoulder under those clothes. It could be made a bit more explicit.
    Thanks for the reply! After reading this, I noticed that I completely painted out some of the defining features from the shoulder to arm connection, I'm going work this back in once I figure out my final composition.

    Quote Originally Posted by vineris View Post
    I don't think this is the composition you're looking for. I have no idea what she's doing or what's going on. She's also at the edge of the picture facing out, drawing attention away from the stuff in the background and out of the picture.

    Rethink your purpose here. If this is supposed to show off the nurse and her design then do that without hiding most of the design behind dark blotches. If this is supposed to be an atmospheric piece then maybe reduce the importance of the nurse in the picture. Right now she's the most important thing there (by size and contrast) but she just seems to be placidly passing through. Go back to the composition, figure out what you want this picture to say and maybe we can help you find the composition that shows that.
    Thanks for the advice. My composition is supposed to showcase the character/creature nurse, so I've been playing with a couple of different compositions.

    I've been moving some things around and adding some general things in and this is what I have so far.

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    I did some general work on how I want the arms to look, I think I'll work on clarifying the legs soon as well.

    Was wondering how everybody felt about the current composition.

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    Okay, I'm not sure about anyone else, but I'm reading 3 light sources here of varying intensity with no values relative to the light reflecting from them. The brightness of the figure isn't working with the relatively ambient background. It's pretty obvious we have a light source coming from straight above giving nice contrast to the figure but why is the background so dark?

    Also, the face is flat. The edges need to be softened and you need more colors too in order to give it the same style. The face is more abstract and almost cubist, and the rest looks like something cool I'd see in Silent Hill.

    Next, whatever is happening at her feet - it looks like something glowing. That needs to be more developed (especially since that background and the figure both look highly developed).

    Lastly, composition wise this is actually pretty boring IMO. Straight on, dead center, not much happening and the creature here is smiling and just sort of being there. I'm also not sure I really know what's going on - we just need more information. You've done so much up to this point, that I'm not sure what to tell you - even though I think this is digital so changes should be pretty easy. Maybe make the creature appear to be coming at us, while smiling, but we can tell it's a more threatening manner (give her completely black eyes, and make it look like that giant claw is being hidden from us, maybe some sharp teeth in a smile). Or, have it a completely innocent look, hiding the "I'm going to cut you into little pieces" and we can sort of see past the innocent thing straight into the "I better do something before any of this monsters body parts get close to me). Then again maybe this is a friendly devil may cry character who really does want to help. No danger at all - which is what's being projected right now.

    Just my thoughts. Hope I wasn't too too harsh.

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    Quote Originally Posted by hitnrun View Post
    Okay, I'm not sure about anyone else, but I'm reading 3 light sources here of varying intensity with no values relative to the light reflecting from them. The brightness of the figure isn't working with the relatively ambient background. It's pretty obvious we have a light source coming from straight above giving nice contrast to the figure but why is the background so dark?

    Also, the face is flat. The edges need to be softened and you need more colors too in order to give it the same style. The face is more abstract and almost cubist, and the rest looks like something cool I'd see in Silent Hill.

    Next, whatever is happening at her feet - it looks like something glowing. That needs to be more developed (especially since that background and the figure both look highly developed).

    Lastly, composition wise this is actually pretty boring IMO. Straight on, dead center, not much happening and the creature here is smiling and just sort of being there. I'm also not sure I really know what's going on - we just need more information. You've done so much up to this point, that I'm not sure what to tell you - even though I think this is digital so changes should be pretty easy. Maybe make the creature appear to be coming at us, while smiling, but we can tell it's a more threatening manner (give her completely black eyes, and make it look like that giant claw is being hidden from us, maybe some sharp teeth in a smile). Or, have it a completely innocent look, hiding the "I'm going to cut you into little pieces" and we can sort of see past the innocent thing straight into the "I better do something before any of this monsters body parts get close to me). Then again maybe this is a friendly devil may cry character who really does want to help. No danger at all - which is what's being projected right now.

    Just my thoughts. Hope I wasn't too too harsh.

    --HNR
    Thanks for the reply!
    This is exactly why I post things here.

    I'm definitely going to make changes to the face as, you are right, she doesn't look menacing enough and to fix some of the harsh jagged face structure. While she's not supposed to be aggressively terrifying, I
    imagined more of a sly, menacing character who could slice you to bits. I've been working on the glowing leg, I just kinda put that there to know something's going to be there.

    I'm a bit unsure if I want to change her position to make more active in the image, as I kinda wanted to make an image of her being creepy and menacing (as well as being showcased), rather than aggressively frightening. Though I do think the posture is a bit boring.. I'm going to play around with the arms to see what I can do.

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    If you look up disney villains, and especially Joker if you want the right facial expressions. I think once you change the medic/nurse from a disarming smile to that sly, menacing facial expression you're looking for we'll all get the impression that we best NOT piss this thing off. Or, if you do make it mad, you only THINK you know what will happen.

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