Any kind of critique loved and needed
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  1. #1
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    Any kind of critique loved and needed

    Hi guys
    I got commissioned for this piece and it will be printed some time next week, but I don't think it's the very best that it can be, even though my commissioner says it's okay. "Okay" isn't good enough for me! Any critique or general tips for this would be extremely appreciated.
    Name:  fleur.png
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    is she underwater?

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    Quote Originally Posted by dicenwn View Post
    is she underwater?
    Yup.

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    Firstly, i like the picture and the the style and the colors look very nice. since Im no pro i can only add my two cents, i would say look at a ref for underwater pictures, matter fact take a look at how finding nemo and how they did their water, there are lots of lights that shine from the upper portion from the water i think its called volumetric light, also i would add some bubbles to show that she is actually underwater, small air pockets form around the nose and mouth.

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    She looks more like a zombie than underwater. She has kind of dead eyes, try to make some life in them! Overall her expression is a little dull. I like the overall feeling though

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    Have a look at loish's gallery and see what makes their pictures different from yours: http://loish.deviantart.com/gallery/

    I think this one might be particularily helpful:


    Not to copy or trace it, but the hair and eyes are very similar and you could see what you can get out of yours more- her eyebrows are very huge and manly- not childish, let alone girlish at all. Also, look at ther hands- why are the fingers so big? Make them smaller. The snake and the fish need to be rendered more- right now, with their black linework around them and no existing lightning pattern, they really steal a lot of atmosphere.

    I like the piece as well, just my two penny.

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    :)

    Quote Originally Posted by dicenwn View Post
    Firstly, i like the picture and the the style and the colors look very nice. since Im no pro i can only add my two cents, i would say look at a ref for underwater pictures, matter fact take a look at how finding nemo and how they did their water, there are lots of lights that shine from the upper portion from the water i think its called volumetric light, also i would add some bubbles to show that she is actually underwater, small air pockets form around the nose and mouth.
    Wow, how in the world can I have an underwater scene and not have bubbles?? Completely huge hole, there. XD
    Also, the cyan in the background is one big volumetric light, if that makes any sense. Does it not look like it is?

    Quote Originally Posted by Minelo View Post
    She looks more like a zombie than underwater. She has kind of dead eyes, try to make some life in them! Overall her expression is a little dull. I like the overall feeling though
    I lightened up her eyes and added more contrast to her skin and fixed her smile a little, to make it more lively-feeling. ...Is it noticable at all?


    Quote Originally Posted by LordLouis View Post
    Have a look at loish's gallery and see what makes their pictures different from yours: http://loish.deviantart.com/gallery/

    I think this one might be particularily helpful:
    Ground-breaking art

    Not to copy or trace it, but the hair and eyes are very similar and you could see what you can get out of yours more- her eyebrows are very huge and manly- not childish, let alone girlish at all. Also, look at ther hands- why are the fingers so big? Make them smaller. The snake and the fish need to be rendered more- right now, with their black linework around them and no existing lightning pattern, they really steal a lot of atmosphere.

    I like the piece as well, just my two penny.
    You know what's weird is the commissioner got this idea from that very same image.
    Resized the hands and fixed those eyebrows. They were pretty heavy now that you mentioned it
    And that snake. That doggone snake. I spent more time on that thing than the hair and face combined, yet is still had issues.

    Name:  fleur.png
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    Last edited by Prinnay; April 17th, 2011 at 10:05 AM.
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    Overall this looks like a nice piece. I like the floaty-ness of the dress, and I actually liked the heavy eyebrows.

    -Her eyes could be more lively. Right now they look flat instead of spherical, and she seems to be staring vacantly off into space. Since her eyes are such a prominent feature, you should really play them up.
    -Her nose looks pretty straight, so I don't understand where that crease (above her nostrils) comes from.
    -Is the snake supposed to have a flat, ribbon-like body?
    -What are the bubble-like things in the background on the left?

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    You probably ought to think where that yellow light is coming from. I can see it coming from the earring, but the yellow highlights should not reach to the arms or especially the top of her nose. Especially since the snake and fishes are lighted more with blue. That's probably the #1 thing that takes me away from the "underwater" theme.
    If the light is coming from the surface, it'd be white or blue-ish (like in the hair), if it's supposed to be some sort of "evening underwater" then the other colours should reflect that.

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    If you add just a touch of bright white/light to the eyes along the top right corner of the pupil, she'll come right to life and still be focused away from the camera.

    I really love the rendering of her lips, the icy blue you threw in there.

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    Oh man I should have asked to postpone the printing a little longer.
    Now that it's on paper I see all the mistakes, but it's too late now. However, I can still fix the digital copy, just in case more physical copies must be printed.
    I'll go back and fix more things!

    TinyBird: I'm afraid I don't know what yellow light you're talking about. The lighting in her skin looks more grayish, at least on my monitor. Perhaps I need to recheck my monitor's colors/brightness?

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    Hey!

    I still think the eyes look a bit tired. It has improved, though!

    Here's a quick op of the eyes, I put her eyebrows a bit higher, added some color and took away the heavy eyelids.
    Name:  underwater.jpg
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prinnay View Post
    TinyBird: I'm afraid I don't know what yellow light you're talking about. The lighting in her skin looks more grayish, at least on my monitor. Perhaps I need to recheck my monitor's colors/brightness?
    Hmm, the fault could be on this end too, though to me it seems fairly yellowish in two different monitors, the most visible area being near the elbow, right where the snake is crossing her arms.
    Though I think you can probably trust the printed version best, so if you don't see problem in that, it might be either my screen or that the underwater theme makes me consider it too yellow by habit.

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