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  1. #1
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    Currently working on. Please critique!

    Last edited by spiritvanished; March 28th, 2011 at 02:24 AM.
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  3. #2
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    fixed size

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  4. #3
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    I like the rendering you've got going, but the face on the figure positioned further up is a little addled. The lips are... strange. I think it's positioned a little far to your right. The eyes are extremely far apart and she's cross eyed.

    A good way to spot these things is to flip the piece horizontally in photoshop.

    The teeth on the lower character need more shading to give her less of a bucktooth appearance.

    That said, I really like your linework.

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  6. #4
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    Whose arm is this?

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  7. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by TerryGillooly View Post
    Whose arm is this?
    its supposed to be the lower girls arm, but i focused too much on her neck and not her shoulders so it got lost.
    ill be posting revision in a few minutes.

    Last edited by spiritvanished; March 22nd, 2011 at 12:45 AM.
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  8. #6
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    Ah, now I see. Looks good so far. (Except you need to fix the size again )

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  9. #7
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    damn my links come out so big.
    too lazy o;
    if it really a problem ill change though

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  10. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by spiritvanished View Post
    too lazy o;
    Just fix it. If you're too lazy to make your pics properly viewable, then everyone in here might just as well to be too lazy to give any help to you. So, little bit of courtesy helps since you're asking help and all.

    Last edited by TinyBird; March 22nd, 2011 at 04:19 AM.
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  12. #9
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    Nice work on the mouth, but her eyes are still... wonky. The eyebrow and the eye just aren't positioned correctly relative to each other. They're both telling me different things about the structure of the face. And her gaze is off, too.

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  13. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by TinyBird View Post
    Just fix it. If you're too lazy to make your pics properly viewable, then everyone in here might just as well to be too lazy to give any help to you. So, little bit of courtesy helps since you're asking help and all.
    I dont at all intend to create an argument,
    but you quoted me out of context.
    if the size was really a huge deterrent ill change it.
    which i will. (:
    albeit i had a typo, but was afraid to lose my details.

    completely understand where your coming from though.
    <:

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  14. #11
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    Currently working on.  Please critique!
    it wouldnt resize in attachments. dont know why. tried everything.

    Last edited by spiritvanished; March 22nd, 2011 at 03:27 PM.
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  15. #12
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    Not the best redline I've done but I seriously can't understand what her expression is. Is she smiling or grimacing?
    Currently working on.  Please critique!
    And a good ref:
    Currently working on.  Please critique!

    You really should've done some construction work before you started to detail those faces.
    Especially for the woman in the left, she has a huge head, tiny arm and really short neck.
    And I'm fairly confident that the woman on right has burrowed inside the others ribcage.

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  16. #13
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    Her hand isn't backwards Tiny - forefinger on the top, you can't see the thumb - she's gripping the top of the bath, or thats how I read it.

    These two are terrible tobogganists thats one slim bath...

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  18. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by TinyBird View Post
    Not the best redline I've done but I seriously can't understand what her expression is. Is she smiling or grimacing?
    Currently working on.  Please critique!
    And a good ref:
    Currently working on.  Please critique!

    You really should've done some construction work before you started to detail those faces.
    Especially for the woman in the left, she has a huge head, tiny arm and really short neck.
    And I'm fairly confident that the woman on right has burrowed inside the others ribcage.
    i appreciate the suggestions, but i feel what I have before is more aesthetically appealing, and aligns better with the slight, blend of stylistic anime, and realism which i like.

    the arms, and such shouldnt be regarded as proper lineart, since im really focusing on the face right now, and havent begun to clean up those lines. i tried to make that clear by keeping it rough.
    i do infact have a reference, a friend requested it~
    i plan on changing more when it comes time to color and create the background

    http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/d...c/6253c5d5.jpg
    the source image is really small.
    :/
    and i cant find sauce.

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  19. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by spiritvanished View Post
    i appreciate the suggestions, but i feel what I have before is more aesthetically appealing, and aligns better with the slight, blend of stylistic anime, and realism which i like.

    the arms, and such shouldnt be regarded as proper lineart, since im really focusing on the face right now, and havent begun to clean up those lines. i tried to make that clear by keeping it rough.
    Well, my problem with it is more that it doesn't look like a blend of realism and anime, but rather that she has malformed, sunken chin, like this:
    Currently working on.  Please critique!
    So you'll have to pay lots of attention into shading it properly to get away from that look with that lineart.
    As for "make that clear be keeping it rough", in here it's sometimes impossible to know what is and what is not the extent of one's abilities because lots people with different levels of skill post here, so if you want to keep something clear, it might be better to just write it to your post from the start.

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  21. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by TinyBird View Post
    Well, my problem with it is more that it doesn't look like a blend of realism and anime, but rather that she has malformed, sunken chin, like this:
    Currently working on.  Please critique!
    So you'll have to pay lots of attention into shading it properly to get away from that look with that lineart.
    As for "make that clear be keeping it rough", in here it's sometimes impossible to know what is and what is not the extent of one's abilities because lots people with different levels of skill post here, so if you want to keep something clear, it might be better to just write it to your post from the start.
    oh i didnt mean to say that the wonky chin is my "style" thats the biggest copout an artist can use, i was just trying to give you an idea of what i wanted. mostly in the arms.
    i cant really explain it, but the redline creates a fuller, more toned, average girl with a bit of muscle. I intended to keep the girls slim, little to no muscle.
    i dont really want to change that.
    it does look weird i know, but i feel like the neck chin will look normal with shading, color, and light.
    i have no problems with murdering my darlings and changing the chin if in the end it is too weird.
    i no means intend to discredit you, we just have differentiating opinions, and i respect yours.

    Thank you though! advice like yours is why i post here honest critique from people with different styles. <:

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  23. #17
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    Currently working on.  Please critique!
    okay massive update.
    i suppose.
    STILL NEEDS HELP.
    searching for more interesting windows.
    its not going to be b&w just working out values, and light sources.
    working hard to create movement.
    suggestions?

    also sloppy lines, are repsentational ,and meant to merely map out.
    the final probably wont even have lines.

    Last edited by spiritvanished; March 25th, 2011 at 03:15 AM. Reason: typo
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  24. #18
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    Currently working on.  Please critique!
    w/o lines

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  25. #19
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    Currently working on.  Please critique!
    with lines.

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  26. #20
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    Giving my two cents about that arm and hand.

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  27. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ohm View Post
    Giving my two cents about that arm and hand.
    ah thank you for the input,
    C:
    ill keep it in mind.

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