First ever finished Char - Brutal crit welcome!

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  1. #1
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    First ever finished Char - Brutal crit welcome!

    I've been working with some fellas who introduced me to a game project.
    They asked me to design a uniform for a high-rank officer (fbi-agent-ish).
    The setting is a post apocalyptic future world that mimics the aestetics of
    the medieval century

    Name:  Uniform finish medium.jpg
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    I know there are ALOT I need to work with on a basic level.
    But I sure could use pointers on what my main flaws are.
    What works and what doesn't.
    Be brutal

    useless trivia: Ive studied a lot of nazi uniforms
    and king uniforms to try to implement a fearfull hierarcic look.
    I noticed I didn't really know metal so I studied reflections in spoons
    and pans

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  3. #2
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    hey there My only crit for you at this point would be about the color choice. I'm not sure if the purple works with what you're trying to portray here... you wrote down that you studied nazi uniforms for the fearfull hierarcic look... well the purple is doing the exact opposite of that I would try the kaki like you have on the colar, or maybe a deep red?

    the yellow on the armor is imo a bit off as well.

    good luck !

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  4. #3
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    One of the requests I got was that the uniform should be in white and purple so I've tried to use that even though I agree with you - purple doesn't really feel very evil.

    But I see it as a challenge to make it work with the white and the rest of the uniform -
    Purple and threatening. Now I know that I need to work more with it!

    Thanks for the crit!

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  5. #4
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    If you want the purple to look more threatening add some black marbling into it, thats what I would do. I like the overall rendering of the piece, tho thing that brings it down for me is the thumb on his left hand, it just looks wrong and I can't not focus on it now that I know it is there. Maybe take a photo of your hand in that position and use it to study from, or get a friend to hold their hand like that? The pockets also seem a bit funny, not sure what I don't like about them, it would probably be weird without them so sadly I cant think of any useful advice.
    That said, my first reaction was that I liked it.

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    Im not sure black marbling would work with the medieval aestetics. But I'm thinking I could make it more evil if i worked more with the design and the colors.

    You are right about the hand by the way. Thanks for the heads up

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    If you're specifically looking for critiques, this may be better suited in the critique forum.

    Cloak looks like it needs a bit more refinement, its difficult to tell what is front and what is back.


    edit: wow a mod moved this right as I posted.

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    His face needs more work. I think maybe he might look better with a cap rather than a hood, if he is a high rank officer, at the moment it looks more like Altair. Some sort of rank badge might help too. I like it though.

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    First of all, great job, your rendering is fantastic! Couple of things I have noticed is that like pimpwacker said the pockets are not right. i know that his left chest pocket is away from the viewer but it is still too small compared to the one on his right chest. The angle of the two pockets should also be more aligned to the rest of his upper body. compare the line from two shoulders and see how it differs from line going from one pocket to another. also, i think the pocket on his leg look too flat, it looks like it was drawn on the clothe.

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    Slade Templar:
    Yeah I found out that soon after I posted it, thanks for reminding the mod

    I've made a choice not rendering the cape as much as the rest of the character to put more focus on the very unifrom. But I think you are right, the folds are a bit off

    Emipark: Another request I got was that the uniform should have a hood and normaly you just don't see that on i high rank officer. But still it's a challenge to make it look like it. Thanks for the reminder, now I need to work more there.

    The resemblance to Altair hasn't escaped me and I try my best not to make it look like him (allthough there are many similaritys allready).

    I chose to render the face less than the rest so that It wouldn't grab attention.
    If there's one thing I've learned from the critique it's that I need to practise speedpainting. Some of the areas I tried to make "unimportant" just look unfinished.

    Jae: I started studying basic forms and the shape of the human body (hogarth, depth and that stuff) during the course of this painting, still the mistake with the pockets escaped me. Thats one problem I don't really know how to solve, how to not get blind after working with the same picture for long.

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  11. #10
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    Apart from the impossible elbow guards (as in he can't bend his arms - use armour reference to understand) and the pockets - I'd have said leather pouches/purse would have been more medieval - (hanging off his belt maybe)
    I say it was fine, its got some nice ideas - it's just drawn weirdly (JMO)
    The proportions seem to be all over the place:
    He's pencil thin (which might be intentional but still )
    Sunken chested with a Simon Cowell super high waist band (its at elbow height!) which is making his legs seem really long (and skinny, they almost look like robot legs)
    His left leg seems longer than the right as well and so does his left arm now that I look at it.
    The face is a little odd - he has a super long chin and lower face - though I'm not sure if its supposed to be foreshortened?

    Apart from that I like it

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    Quote Originally Posted by Venger View Post
    Apart from the impossible elbow guards (as in he can't bend his arms - use armour reference to understand) and the pockets - I'd have said leather pouches/purse would have been more medieval - (hanging off his belt maybe)
    I say it was fine, its got some nice ideas - it's just drawn weirdly (JMO)
    The proportions seem to be all over the place:
    He's pencil thin (which might be intentional but still )
    Sunken chested with a Simon Cowell super high waist band (its at elbow height!) which is making his legs seem really long (and skinny, they almost look like robot legs)
    His left leg seems longer than the right as well and so does his left arm now that I look at it.
    The face is a little odd - he has a super long chin and lower face - though I'm not sure if its supposed to be foreshortened?

    Apart from that I like it
    Thanks for the analysis Venger! I could sit and explain why I made those impossible elbow guards or why he has trenchcoat pockets, but I see there is no need. You pointing it out just proves that they are off. In the end it's going to be a pixel sidescroller so there will be cartoony libertys taken with anatomy but I try for my own sake to create something realistic.

    By the way, do you really think the belt is unrealisticly high up? I know his waist is lower but I put the belt so as if it was buckled over the belly button to get a tight and slender look. I also want the legs to look a bit robotic or cyborgisch to get a future feel.

    Oh well, I should just stop talking and try to make it work instead.
    By the way I don't know what JMO means, I've allways thought my drawings looked wierd but I just don't really know what I am doing wrong

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  13. #12
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    jmo means 'just my opinion'
    probably meaning that Venger is mitigating his comments by saying " it isn't necessarily something wrong with the work, this is just a matter of taste for me.

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  14. #13
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    If you tried to draw his body under the armor, I guess it would be quite obvious a human leg simply can't fit in there, no matter how skinny he is. Even if his thighs are super thin, his knees would be a problem, it seems.
    EDIT: Cyborg... Hm... I see but just looking at the pic (especially seeing the armor and medieval style) doesn't tell me he's not fully organic and the legs just seem wrong...
    The picture seems wrong at gesture level. It's not a really believable gesture, I don't feel the weight on the legs... I don't know if you understand what I mean...

    Last edited by shiNIN; March 22nd, 2011 at 02:57 PM.
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    @Dryleg - I don't mind the fact he has elbow guards (couters) its just they are wrongly placed - they read as though its covering the fold rather than surrounding the elbow joint.
    As for the belt - it's just how I read it thats all, maybe if you defined where the hips are it might read better.

    Hmm I better stop using 'JMO' as you're the second person to ask me about that lol.

    It's pretty much as pimpwacker described - I'm just voicing my own opinion - that doesn't necessarily mean that its right.

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    I think you are right about the legs now that you mention it. I want them thin, but it doesn't look right with the knees or thigs. I think the weight might be off because of the angle of his belt. Now that I think about it his right leg should be more right underneath him since he doesnt balance his weight with his shoulders.

    Next Im going to draw the body underneath and later ad clothes and armor.

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    If you read it that way then i've described it wrong. I think im gonna look at karate and tae kwon do uniforms. Often you tie the belt pretty high up.

    I realised that the couters are mainly an antomical mistake. Just recently noticed I that elbows aren't aligned with the knuckles. Now that I wrote it, his left couter looks insanely misplaced

    And i'm happy you did voiced your opinion. Like I said before, there are some things about my drawings and pictures that I find wierd. I don't really know if it's personal expression or just lack of knowledge/awareness.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dryleg View Post
    Emipark: Another request I got was that the uniform should have a hood and normaly you just don't see that on i high rank officer. But still it's a challenge to make it look like it. Thanks for the reminder, now I need to work more there.

    The resemblance to Altair hasn't escaped me and I try my best not to make it look like him (allthough there are many similaritys allready).

    I chose to render the face less than the rest so that It wouldn't grab attention.
    If there's one thing I've learned from the critique it's that I need to practise speedpainting. Some of the areas I tried to make "unimportant" just look unfinished.
    Wow, they didn't make the brief easy did they lol

    You could maybe do a cap or helmet underneath the hood? Or design some sort of hood/cap hybrid, but I doubt that was part of the request.

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    Emipark: It sure left me with a lot of strange problems. I think that they weren't really sure of what they wanted and just thought "hey, a hood might be cool"

    Right now I'm thinking about doing a hybrid: A hood that bears resemblance to a captains hat or in some other way just screams LEADER

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  20. #19
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    Dryleg - I've had a look at some dress uniforms - I'd say you were right in it's placement - it's just a little thin, maybe extend it down a bit - they seem quite sturdy, covering your obliques almost.
    Part of the problem is whats below it - especially where the leg is raised we need some creases in the cloth to show the hip.
    see quick, rough OP:

    Name:  belt.jpg
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    Thanks for the OP! The cloth on the raised leg was one thing I remember having trouble with but never did any actuall research on. Bad me!

    I feel a bit overwhelmed by all the errors I didn't see but Im going to write this stuff down and keep it in mind when I make the next picture for the project. Hopefully I'll have time to squeeze in a correction for this one.

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  22. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dryleg View Post
    I chose to render the face less than the rest so that It wouldn't grab attention.
    Actually I just noticed this bit on another read through of this thread.

    Always render the face - because in general its the first thing people will look at - its a basic thing that humans do, to connect with a face.
    You can have it masked with shadow and not much visible, but always render the head area, never leave it unfinished (if you can help it) - it will always be a focus area.

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    I think that fault fell under sloppy work category. But don't you think you could pass of a speed painted face if it fit with the rest of drawing: For instance if It were an action pose and there would be motion blur on the head and shoulder area (that might not fit well on a design presentation like this thou)

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