Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Illustration and Comic page Critique

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    1,233
    Thanks
    186
    Thanked 107 Times in 91 Posts

    Illustration and Comic page Critique

    First off, a character with a background painted around him. This was new approach and hearing opinions would be helpful.
    Attachment 1181602

    Secondly, I'm looking for criticism on this comic page rough for composition.
    Attachment 1181604

    Thanks
    SSG 37The Show Must Go On!
    | Bard |


    | My Sketchbook |
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote


  2. Hide this ad by registering as a member
  3. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Cape Town, South Africa
    Posts
    2,715
    Thanks
    2,952
    Thanked 1,821 Times in 939 Posts
    I think the first picture has real promise. At first glance it looks great, but the background begins to falter and get muddy in some areas. Specifically the edges of the walls and the area around the lamp look a bit shaky and too soft.

    Whats the character doing? Is he getting ready to plunge that wicked looking dagger into the ball/tomato? He'd better not use too much force. There's something strange happening with the joint of his wrist/hand on the right arm.

    I think the big panel in the comic composition has a pretty good sense of depth.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Star Eater For This Useful Post:


  5. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Long Beach
    Posts
    194
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked 16 Times in 16 Posts
    The comic page: The center focus of the page is aligned to the center.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to SenK For This Useful Post:


  7. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    1,233
    Thanks
    186
    Thanked 107 Times in 91 Posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Star Eater View Post
    I think the first picture has real promise. At first glance it looks great, but the background begins to falter and get muddy in some areas. Specifically the edges of the walls and the area around the lamp look a bit shaky and too soft.

    Whats the character doing? Is he getting ready to plunge that wicked looking dagger into the ball/tomato? He'd better not use too much force. There's something strange happening with the joint of his wrist/hand on the right arm.
    .
    Hey Star Eater, thanks for the reply. The BG was originally painted with harder edges. I blurred out to force more focus on the character. In retrospect I feel the FG has enough focus and I'll tighten those edges back up. The lamp I felt needed a blurry glow, the real cause is I didn't reference it. At all lol. Will dig up some stuff for that.

    The character IS ready to cut the fruit! (S'posed to be an apple) Backstory is he leaves apple cores as a calling card or something. The hand I will possibly revisit.

    The comic page: The center focus of the page is aligned to the center.
    Yo SenK, are you saying having an overall focus to a page is bad? Or should not be in the center of the page?
    SSG 37The Show Must Go On!
    | Bard |


    | My Sketchbook |
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  8. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Nottingham UK
    Posts
    1,378
    Thanks
    492
    Thanked 1,248 Times in 588 Posts
    Your floor perspective is wrong, if fact its all over the place in comparison with your figure
    The figure proportions is also out, small torso and head and his pose is very stiff (& slightly leaning forward)
    The 'town' could use some work as it's reading (to me) very flat.
    Apart from that a good start!

    As for the comic page - do you have a lot of text for this page - it would be helpful to know?
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to Venger For This Useful Post:


  10. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Cape Town, South Africa
    Posts
    2,715
    Thanks
    2,952
    Thanked 1,821 Times in 939 Posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Matsign View Post
    The character IS ready to cut the fruit! (S'posed to be an apple) Backstory is he leaves apple cores as a calling card or something.
    Ah well, in that case his intent to butcher the apple with the knife has come across.

    That knife is going to make a real mess though...
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  11. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    1,233
    Thanks
    186
    Thanked 107 Times in 91 Posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Venger View Post
    Your floor perspective is wrong, if fact its all over the place in comparison with your figure
    The figure proportions is also out, small torso and head and his pose is very stiff (& slightly leaning forward)
    The 'town' could use some work as it's reading (to me) very flat.
    Apart from that a good start!

    As for the comic page - do you have a lot of text for this page - it would be helpful to know?
    Thanks a ton Venger! Gonna focus on getting this comic rough nailed before I go to ink. Then return to the illustration.

    This is my first go around for comicing and its gonna be a BIG learning experience! Here is the updated page with the jist of the bubble placement. Some minor FX in p.2. Two speaking bubbles in p.2:
    Attachment 1181654
    SSG 37The Show Must Go On!
    | Bard |


    | My Sketchbook |
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  12. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Nottingham UK
    Posts
    1,378
    Thanks
    492
    Thanked 1,248 Times in 588 Posts
    Hmmm, if it was a lot of text I would say it wasn't to bad, but with only 2 bubbles its too much bottom right, with a lot of empty space.
    I'd suggest you move the shot a bit more - see PO, bear in mind I don't usually do comics - these are just ideas

    Attachment 1181668
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  13. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    1,233
    Thanks
    186
    Thanked 107 Times in 91 Posts
    Good suggestion. I like that placement of the characters in the layout. P.2 I would like to keep as an establishing shot with enough background information balanced with the speech. I'll be getting back to this later this evening for a revision.
    SSG 37The Show Must Go On!
    | Bard |


    | My Sketchbook |
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

Similar Threads

  1. Comic page critique
    By Jimmy_K_007 in forum ART CRITIQUE CENTER
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: June 28th, 2011, 06:04 PM
  2. comic style illustration please critique
    By WALLSTREETKID06 in forum ART CRITIQUE CENTER
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: January 15th, 2009, 05:11 PM
  3. A 12 page comic of mine. New 5 page comic added.
    By BMB in forum ART CRITIQUE CENTER
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: June 4th, 2008, 10:17 PM

Members who have read this thread: 0

There are no members to list at the moment.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
  • 424,149 Artists
  • 3,599,276 Artist Posts
  • 32,941 Sketchbooks
  • 54 New Art Jobs
Art Workshop Discount Inside

Developed Actively by vBSocial.com
SpringOfSea's Sketchbook