A Friendship dies...
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    Unhappy A Friendship dies...

    I've just ended a frienship today. I've never had to do that before. If a friend and I stop seeing eye to eye we just stop hanging out. We say hi in the halls and its all very civil, but that's it. Now I've had to end a friendship with a very moody girl who had nothing to offer me. I was always there for her, but all she did was spit it back in my face. It had to stop. I guess the reason it hurts was because she didn't even fight or ask me what was wrong. She just accepted it and wouldn't talk to me. I guess we weren't as close as I thought.
    I don't know what I want to hear right now or why I'm even bothering you all with this. But most of you here are older than me and have probably had this happen too... I don't know if I want someone to tell me what I want to hear to to just say "That's life." But it helps somehow to know someone took the time to hear about my problems...

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    It's always sad because something ends, but at the same time joyful because something else begins. Try to see the brighter side.

    And yes, it's life. People come, stay and then go. They carry a little bit of you with them, you carry a little bit of them with you.

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    Remember: friends come and go, but enemies are forever.



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    Quote Originally Posted by Noah Bradley View Post
    Remember: friends come and go, but enemies are forever.

    Hahaha!

    Thank you all of you. Now comes the awkward occassional meetings in school. Heh. I know I'll be ok, it just still stings a bit.

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    Girls are a dime a dozen my friend, don't fret too much.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zantillia View Post
    Hahaha!

    Thank you all of you. Now comes the awkward occassional meetings in school. Heh. I know I'll be ok, it just still stings a bit.
    I've been in those situations before. Friendships ending though i'd still have to see them every day. Arguments severing an acquaintence, always with the fact i'd still have to see them again and there'd be akwardness. I like to create crazy scenarios in my head "at least it isn't like this". Scenarios that basically make the idea of "seeing them at school" pale in comparison.

    Examples:
    "Hey, on the bright side, at least that person isn't someone like a hardcore drug dealer and at least i didn't try and screw him over and now he wants to kill me next time he sees me, and/or has his gang out to kill me"

    or

    "At least i wasn't living in a small village in africa and a criminal gang had rolled in, and tried to kidnap the children of the village, and in defense i spontaneously started shooting at them, driving them away, but i know next time i see them they're going to kill my family, and/or burn down my village"


    Point being, it can be akward, but marginalizing it by thinking of a scenario much worse can help alleviate a lot of the stress and internal over-dramatization. At the same time it can maybe even make u laugh it off.
    Its only as big of an issue as you let your mind make it out to be. Also, this method works great for asking girls out or overcoming similar internal conundrums.
    "its not like it's going to end in me losing a hand or leave me crippled"





    .

    "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
    --- Frank Herbert, Dune - Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear

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    FourTonMantis is offline Without vision we will die Level 11 Gladiator: Essedarii
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    Quote Originally Posted by Liffey View Post
    You ended a friendship just because you disagreed on something???
    I'm sure there's much more to the story than what Zantillia posted.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Liffey View Post
    You ended a friendship just because you disagreed on something???
    My impression from the OP is that he was a good shoulder for her, a good friend to her, and she never returned that friendship. I've had "friends" like that before that took and took and took. I recently let one go just this past December. You can only take so much before you get sick of being the one that's always putting yourself out there. Sounds selfish but friendship is a two way street.

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    Quote Originally Posted by goldilockz View Post
    My impression from the OP is that he was a good shoulder for her, a good friend to her, and she never returned that friendship. I've had "friends" like that before that took and took and took. I recently let one go just this past December. You can only take so much before you get sick of being the one that's always putting yourself out there. Sounds selfish but friendship is a two way street.
    Exactly. Of course there were fun times, but if their not there when you need them what's the point? I do have other friends who actually seem to care about me, and will do more to help than pat my shoulder and walk away.

    ArtZealot: thanks for that. Some of those are kind of funny so I think that should work. If she makes me feel awkward I'll just end up laughing stupidly. That should throw her off.

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    Been there done that. It sucks, especially while you're still in school. Just try to take one day at a time. I know it's hard, I've experienced it.

    The most recent one for me was someone I thought I could trust at one of the worst moments of my life. She turned around and made it about her, tried to make me feel guilty. I tried cutting things off with her several times, she just didn't get it. It even got to the point that she stalked me online when I refused to see her in person. I had to, begrudgingly, be civil with her until I moved out of state. I'm thankful everyday that I'm not in that hick-town where she is anymore, and that she's blocked from all my online places.

    There's just too many crazy bitches out there...

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    quote I read yesterday

    "So many people enter and leave your life! Hundreds of thousands of people! You have to keep the door open so they can come in! But it also means you have to let them go!"
    -Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer

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    Family, religion, friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.
    -- Montgomery Burns.

    Friends are disposable assets. Your business is art. Art is your friend now.



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    It'll pass, Zan. You'll be all right. There will always be new friends to be made.

    I've had to deal with a similar situation recently myself. Wasn't pretty, but had to be done.

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    Sorry you had to got through that Zantillia.

    I had a similar experience too in my early 20's, a friend who was a very 'full on' type of person and always got into arguments and fights with anyone (and literally anywhere) and ultimately everything ended up being about her. It was when I was going through a bad depression and having a hard time at work that I realised just how one sided the friendship had become. I don't think it was either of our faults, I just wasn't the right friend for her and vice versa.

    At least you can say that you never left the friendship in an ambigous state and actually let her know your feelings, I never did that and I kinda regret it.

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    Here is a pretty good article about relationships, if anybody has time to read.


    "All relationships are temporary. Every single one of them ends.

    Sorry to depress you, but you know it's true. As much as we want eternal friendships, we can't have it.

    Think of all the people who were once in your life but no longer are. Where are they? Where did they go? Why are they gone?

    Some relationships lasted longer than others, but none of them lasted. And neither will the ones we're in today. Like it or not, this is how it's SUPPOSED to be.

    -Jaime Richards"
    Here is a scan of the full article.

    http://s246.photobucket.com/albums/g...ationships.gif

    Make a sketchbook happy, feed it a tip to improve!

    http://conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=85628
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    Quote Originally Posted by damascus57 View Post
    -- Montgomery Burns.

    Friends are disposable assets. Your business is art. Art is your friend now.
    Well, I wouldn't say that. I don't believe that such things are "disposable". A person cannot be thrown out of your life like and old napkin. I adore my art, it IS my best friend. But despite how blasphemous this is to me; its just a thing, it won't hold your hand on your death bed, to use a morbid analogy.

    Anyway, thank you to all of you for your kind words and encouragement.

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    I just want to say this, even though it may sound a bit like a leap..
    IF she ever threatened whit suicide when you were there to help her, and she does kill herself now that the friendship is over, then it will not be your fault. A lot of people, wrongfully, blame themselves in similar situations.

    Best case scenario, this dead silence from her part might mean that she's really thinking over her behaviour with you.
    Ending a friendship might be the best option for all parts in the long run.

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    Learning to say, "No!" to stop people shitting on you is a huge lesson and will give you confidence in other situations. Pretty well everyone has to learn this as sometime.


    I didn't think it was possible to be called an artist when you have nothing to say. It's like being a writer who publishes individual words as books and expects to be praised for it.
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