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Thread: Full Swing.

  1. #1
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    Full Swing.

    Hey there friends. I'm sorry to make an anime reference to describe my situation, but its what's fresh in my mind as I've just re-watched FLCL. (Which by the way if you haven't seen you should.)
    For the past 2 years I think it is, I've been trying to figure myself out along with everything else, I mean who isn't. But to the point, what I've found is that, I don't "swing the bat". Rather I 'won't' swing the bat. My life has essentially come to a grinding halt in every aspect, simply because I can't convince myself to really TRY at anything. Its frustrating because I feel like I'm sitting outside of myself watching myself not do my best, and being totally aware of it, but approach situations very apathetically. Now I can't for the life of me figure out why this is, I haven't really failed at anything so much that it'd give me fear of failure. In some ways I even hope to fail, because it at least means I tried. There are spells in which I will "try" but its always for a very short time. I don't know how else I can motivate myself to really try at anything. I surround myself with inspiration but to no avail. I just end up back as plain as ever.

    This is also where the reference, I was making earlier sort of comes into place. I'm turning 21 next month, yet I feel I haven't grown at all. I've experienced a great deal since I was a teenager, and yet I have nothing to show for it. I might as well be a young boy getting struck out on every at-bat. (FLCL reference once more).
    I'm sorry if this is just turning into rambling, I just need some sort of outlet.

    Has anyone ever felt the same or dealt with the same issue?


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  3. #2
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    Yes. I dealt with the same issue. Maybe it's not really related to the things you're interested in. Possible causes could be:

    - depression
    - the overall mood of people around you being influence
    - not enough sleep
    - not enough physical activity that produce adrenaline
    - not getting any new experiences
    - all of above

  4. #3
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    Give it another 3 or 4 years. I'm 25 and I just recently found the direction I want to go. Everybody is different i guess.
    Last edited by Kfeeras; January 25th, 2011 at 06:02 AM.

  5. #4
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    It's different for every person. I got over it by playing online games/watching tv excessively until I got utterly disgusted with myself, so I can't give you any solid advice LOL

    I recommend losing the apathetic attitude though. The longer you keep that up, the longer this problem will persist. Also surrounding yourself with inspiration isn't reliable. For example one moment you're really inspired by an awesome quote, 3 hours and a nap later you reread the same line and suddenly don't give a shit. That was the case for me at least

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    So you still don't like sour drinks, eh?
    (Hey if you do it, so can I.)

    Well, you sound like you could use a break, or a change of scenery. I think you might benefit from a hike, or camping or something completely different from your usual life, something where you could forget trying, and just do. Or a new different hobby where you could fail and you could try, and have people around you who would encourage you to keep doing.

    And I can't relate with the apathetic-ness because I'm kinda neurotic and to me most things are either succeeding or failing so I can't escape that, but I can relate with the "I feel like a kid" thing. I'd say it's okay. I'd rather feel like a kid at my twenties than feel like an old old person who feels like I've experienced too much. At my twenties.
    Last edited by TinyBird; January 25th, 2011 at 06:35 AM.
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  7. #6
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    You need to change your perspective on what you class as being good at something. It sounds like you're expecting to suddenly find something that you're brilliant at. For 99% of us that's just simply not how it works. You get good at stuff by giving a shit about it and as a result working your ass off doing it. Failing is also part of this process. You say that you never really try; that really screams of a fear of failing. You're using the fact that you don't try as an excuse to fall back on just incase you don't achieve what you were hoping for.

    I don't mean to sound harsh or anything but the truth is it's not easy. Don't get too caught up in the idea of "finding" your direction. Rather just choose your direction, open yourself to the notion that it's going to be hard and then work at it like a dog. Don't be scared of actually trying and still failing, that's when you pick yourself up and try again.

    Edit: Regarding TinyBirds post: Personally I think a break is the last thing he needs. I think a heavy research session looking into a few potential careers and then a plan of action to reach that goal is in call for, not a hike out with the clouds to procrastinate a little bit longer...

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  9. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smashed_Pumpkin View Post
    Personally I think a break is the last thing he needs. I think a heavy research session looking into a few potential careers and then a plan of action to reach that goal is in call for, not a hike out with the clouds to procrastinate a little bit longer...
    Well, my suggestion for a hike came mainly from that if Thab here has been mulling around the fact that he/she can't get anything done, nothing motivates, everything has stopped for two years, sometimes you need a break from that thinking or at least some difference before you can see the same thing from a different perspective. Same thoughts can feel different whether you think them in your bed or in a forest. Especially if you have been staying in the same surroundings for a longer time, which lack of general motivation can also cause.
    I can't guarantee that it will work, but it works for me. And is good for health.
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  10. #8
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    Thanks everyone for your replies. I've been thinking about it and here's what I've come up with.

    Farvus: Yeah i can tick off a few of those as possible contributing factors, mainly sleep and exercise.
    Smashed Pumpkin: I think heavy research is all I've done since highschool the one choice I did make that I've always been happy with was that I want to be an artist. That's probably the only thing in my life that I'm sure of. No matter how down I am, or what's happening its something that I always will make time for, and I wish it was all that I had to do. There isn't very much else that I want to do. And I have pushed myself in that one direction. I think my problem isn't so much to deal with my career, but rather myself as a person. There are a lot of questions that need answering and it just feels to me that nothing is more important than answering them.

    I really do appreciate that you have taken the time out to chime in. Good news is I'm headed to florida next month for spring break so maybe that will break the chain, I just need to use the time well. and really get back on my feet.

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    You should read "The War of Art" by Steven Pressfield, or "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho, or "The Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand, or "Peaceful Mind" by John McQuaid.

    All of these books have helped me to overcome this very issue in my own life, and inspire me to greater heights.

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