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  1. #1
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    Post When a forum Troll pushes you to far, what do you say?

    Post this in reply (I saw this on another forum):

    You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As they say in Texas. I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.

    You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.
    You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.

    I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformation. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?

    Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.
    You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.

    You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.

    And what meaning do you expect your delusional self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?

    You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meat slapper.
    On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.
    You smarmy lager lout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oink artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.

    You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away.
    I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.

    The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.

    P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally Not Good.

    And if you got to the end, I salute you!
    "Everything must serve the idea. The means used to convey the idea should be the simplest and clear. Just what is required. No extra images. To me this is a universal principle of art. Saying as much as possible with a minimum of means."
    -John Huston, Director


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  3. #2
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    Ahh, couldn't get to the end, I managed the first 4 paragraphs and then had to give up.

    What did they do to piss this person off so badly?

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  5. #3
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    I would have been more impressed if the PS at the end was listed alphabetically. lol.

    What did they do to piss this person off so badly?
    indeed, they must have been having a very bad day (and a lot of time to write that out, it was actually pretty good. reminds me a lot of the Book of Psalms)

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  7. #4
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    Couldn't do it. And, yeah, what the hell did you do?! Haha.

  8. #5
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    Someone had fun with the thesaurus!

  9. #6
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    WOOOHOOOO read it all....*collapses in on himself*

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  11. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dusty View Post
    Someone had fun with the thesaurus!
    Way too much fun if you ask me.

    By the way I only got as far as the first paragraph before I gave up.

  12. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brashen View Post
    WOOOHOOOO read it all....*collapses in on himself*



    "Everything must serve the idea. The means used to convey the idea should be the simplest and clear. Just what is required. No extra images. To me this is a universal principle of art. Saying as much as possible with a minimum of means."
    -John Huston, Director

  13. #9
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    When a forum troll pushes you too far, you Nicolas Cage

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  15. #10
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    When a forum Troll pushes you to far, what do you say?
    Nothing at all.

    Because if you do get angry, the troll wins and then says:

    "Lol u mad?"
    -My work can be found at my local directory thread.

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  17. #11
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    This is a compilation of insults some guy collected and rewrote. It's pretty old

  18. #12
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  19. #13
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    Something a bit more concise.

    When a forum Troll pushes you to far, what do you say?

  20. #14
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    I'd probably reply with "Lolwut".

  21. #15
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  22. #16
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    That whole mess of text = probably the worst thing you could say to a troll ever.

  23. #17
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    Potentially amusing miniature timesink.

  24. #18
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    Sign up for the Troll war.

    Cave House Studios - creative animation and video
    What the Sketchbook

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  26. #19
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    "I wish to paint in such a manner as if I were photographing dreams" - Zdzislaw Beksinski
    My Happy Little Sketchbook, please check it out and help me get better!

    My TUMBLR!

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  28. #20
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    When a forum Troll pushes you to far, what do you say?
    CRITIQUE AS YOU WOULD BE CRITIQUED
    http://conceptart.org/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=59
    THE ABOVE LINK IS ALL YOU NEED

    http://www.conceptart.org/forums/sho...d.php?t=200044 <- Sketchbook - filled with unhappy things.

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  30. #21
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  31. #22
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    No, not at all. I have much respect for Omen, it was a reference to an earlier thread of his.
    CRITIQUE AS YOU WOULD BE CRITIQUED
    http://conceptart.org/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=59
    THE ABOVE LINK IS ALL YOU NEED

    http://www.conceptart.org/forums/sho...d.php?t=200044 <- Sketchbook - filled with unhappy things.

  32. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by OmenSpirits View Post
    Post this in reply (I saw this on another forum):
    You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As they say in Texas ...............
    When a forum Troll pushes you to far, what do you say?

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  34. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Calienté View Post
    I would have been more impressed if the PS at the end was listed alphabetically. lol.
    P.S.: You are abusive, aggressive, arassive, arrogant, avaricious, barratrous, belligerent, bigoted, bilious, brain-damaged, byzantine, censorious, clueless, conspiratorial, contemptible, controlling, cowardly, crazy, criminal, cultic, deadly, deceitful, deceptive, demented, despicable, destructive, devious, dim, diseased, dogmatic, double-talking, dumb, dystopic, evasive, fascistic, flagrant, fraudulent, fundamentalist, greedy, grim, harmful, hypocritical, idiotic, idolatrous, ignorant, illegitimate, imbecilic, insane, jargon-spouting, lame, libelous, loathsome, malevolent, malignant, manipulative, mendacious, meretricious, mind-numbing, narrow, opportunistic, paternalistic, plantigrade, poisonous, puerile, racist, restrictive, revisionist, satanic, secretive, self-destructive, self-righteous, sexist, socially-retarded, spastic, splenetic, stifling, suppressive, tasteless, uncaring, unethical, unsympathetic, vengeful, violent, weird, and generally Not Good.


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  36. #25
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    reminds me of ...


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  38. #26
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    It then gets posted on ED and lulz are had by all.
    (500 boxes of (u mad?)pizza will be had be original ragefailer).

  39. #27
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    I don't get why people sit there and let trolls rile them up like that, just click the little "close" button on the top right and *poof!* problem gone. It's like choosing to walk on broken glass because you want the glass to feel bad for cutting your foot
    Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die

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  41. #28
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    i would teach him how to spell "too" as opposed to "to".
    Sketchbook

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    lighting! design! perspective! proportion!
    And (self)motivation is still everything.

  42. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by OmenSpirits View Post
    You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As they say in Texas. I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
    You know what? I BET YOU NEVER BEEN TO TEXAS. (I live in Dallas.)

    /win

    /endthread.

    /gloat

    /criesinsleep

  43. #30
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    (this is mostly a true story)

    A friend of mine once found himself in a parking lot on his way to a car, when this bum starts walking to him: no doubt with the intention of asking for any spare change. However, before the bum could ask anything, my friend goes, "Hey! Can you give me five rand? Please dude I just need five rand - I'll pay you back next time I'm here I promise! Just five rand that's all I'm asking!" The bum, obviously taken aback by this role reversal, mumbled an apology and walked off.

    Vacuous and galling behaviour is too often combated with the futile impositions of logic and correction, and the more pragmatic and entertaining route is entirely foregone: just stick your finger in his eye.
    Brendan Noeth


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