Crits would be very much appreciated!

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Thread: Crits would be very much appreciated!

  1. #1
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    Crits would be very much appreciated!

    Hey, one of my problems is not finishing any of my work. I would like some advice on what i'm doing wrong with this image, as I'd really like to do a good job on the finished product. This thing is based on the poem "not waving but drowning" by Stevie Smith.

    EDIT: Took it about as far as I can think of. Crits?

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    Last edited by Nelka; November 6th, 2010 at 02:24 PM.
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  3. #2
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    Original starting point.

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    Last edited by Nelka; November 6th, 2010 at 02:20 PM.
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    Tried to work a bit more on it, flesh out with some colour and fix some stuff. This is my first attempt at a complete thing, so again any tips would be very helpful. I just wanna try get through all the stages of this so I know what to concentrate on for more studies.

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    Well you really switched up the concept there. The original was interesting, but it probably would have been pretty tricky to pull off right. Now you have a much more recognizable concept. With all the vertical length you have for the canvas, I think you definitely need some kind of interest in the open spaces, whether it be with added physical elements, or lighting, or material texturing, etc.
    That's an interesting color scheme for the water, it makes it feel like a realistic pond or lake. If you weren't already planning on it, you could also thin about adding in some trailing bubblage as she is falling. I googled "falling in water" and found some photos you could look at for basic referencing.

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    I'm not a fan of the way the composition is cut in half, with both halves being unrelated. There should be something tying both sides together.

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    Thanks for the feedback!

    Liffey: I agree with you on the separation, maybe fixing the top colour will help, I just didnt want a full monochrome. A unifying element would be good, although I don't really know what would work.

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    Right now, I'd break up the surface of the water ( look up some "under over water" type images like http://www.oceanwideimages.com/image...ean-wrasse.jpg where the waterline is not straight). Also, she's lit far too strongly and I agree on some kind of unifying element between the air and water. Maybe something like seaweed or possibly bubbles that rise up and visually continue into the sky as the birds.

    Wasn't your original concept about drowning in the sky or something?

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    Hi nelka, i really liked the ide and i hope you dont mind that i painted over to show want i think can help the image since im very bad at explaning what i mean

    Crits would be very much appreciated!

    i added little red and removed the strong light source in could,bubbles and tryed to connect the water a bit more and give it a intressting feeling, i hope this help in some way, but i am no expert just a personal opinion, will recheck this thread incase you do more updates

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    all are very cool nicely drawn

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