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    Thumbs down Weird art teacher making me not want to go to class

    Hey guys, just joined up to conceptart and really excited to start posting and stuff

    Anyways, to the point. I've been taking a nude figure drawing class for 3 semesters, over a year and a half with the same teacher. Semesters are about 10-14 weeks long, class once a week.

    During the second semester he started getting really friendly and asking me personal questions and about whether my husband supported my art or not. He also started casually brushing up against me, and grabbing my shoulders as he walks by. He'll also touch my collar bone, shoulder blades, jaw line etc to show me how to draw them. Nobody else in class is getting physical contact from him.

    The worst part is how he makes everything sexual. I told him about MeetUp.com and he replied with "Oh, so there's no friends with benefits?" I told him that my husband and I were going to the beach, and he asked if it was a nude one. He also likes to talk about how his wife doesn't understand him, doesn't do anything creative, and works all the time.

    I'm in the 3rd semester and it's just gotten worse. I've been skipping a lot of classes and try to not talk to him for more than 2 minutes because it usually turns awkward after that.

    I don't know if it's because I'm the only woman in there under 45 or what. Or he's really lonely and very socially awkward. Am I crazy and should I just suck it up and go to class?

    And yes, I expect to be flamed from at least one person for this. Bring it!


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    I would tell him he is flirting with a law suit. That should keep it in his pants. If you want to be more tactful tell him its innapropriate behavior and you don't like it and you want it to stop. I would do this in front of people to make sure everyone else hears it. You need to seriously nip this in the bud because it sounds way out of line.

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    What do your class mates make of this? Sometimes people are just very touchy feely...although this guy does sound creepy.
    Ask him if you could pose for one class, see what his reaction is and if he suddenly gets all flustered and excited you can get him with the pepper spray... (Joking, don't do that, although it would be amusing)
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    I had a professor who was a real old lecherous asshole who did almost the same thing to a female student. Really, touchy-feely and finally, perhaps in a moment of senility, actually grabbed her ass in front of the whole class as she was washing a brush in a sink. This is probably a different matter because at that point, there's no saving face for the prof and he was disciplined. If it's getting beyond inappropriate, do not confront the instructor. Especially If you've already drawn the line and he continues to cross it. Confronting him and threatening action only provides him with warning that will allow him to preemptively mitigate any accusations that might go to the department by discrediting you and making up counter claims. Inform the chair of the department or dean and have a couple of fellow students who can back you up.
    Last edited by N D Hill; November 2nd, 2010 at 11:58 AM.

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    yeah definitely don't just suck it up. Talk to him about it or go to his superiors. He does not have the right to put you in an uncomfortably situation like that.

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    Doesn't sound like he's worth warning. I'd just issue a formal complaint to the dean, or whoever heads the department.

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    Thanks for the responses everyone! I was afraid I was making a big deal out of nothing, since I've never been in this situation before.

    @dpaint: Next time he touches me I'll say something. It's so startling normally I just freeze up and ignore it

    @Mr Man: I'm not really close with the rest of the class, mostly because there's such a large age gap (about 15 years or more, I'm the youngest) and we don't seem to have anything in common. I mentioned posing for a class and that was basically his reaction, he got very excited.

    @N D Hill: That poor girl Thankfully it's not that bad. He is much older than me though, and his comments and actions are very inappropriate for a teacher/student relationship.

    So here's the problem about reporting it. He's an independent artist who rents out the studio from this tiny art academy, which is basically a gallery and the studio in a small renovated house. It's not affiliated with a college or anything, he doesn't have a boss. I'm thinking probably the president of the academy would be my best bet. No idea what they can do to discipline him.

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    You'd have little to lose by sharing your concerns with the academy at the very least, I imagine the president of that group would be a good direction to take it.

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    If that doesn't work get some big ass scary biker looking dude with prison tats on his forhead to have a chat with him about being touched. He could tell him what goes around comes around...

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    Tell him a story of how your husband got in jail for 6 months after smashing the face of some guy who was flirting with you...

    Or just be cold with him. When he asks "did you sleep well" reply with "ahem". When he says something don't reply at all or just try to sound like you really don't care. Maybe he will "get it" and stop. Just act like ignorant bitch i guess

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    Quote Originally Posted by Vari View Post
    Tell him a story of how your husband got in jail for 6 months after smashing the face of some guy who was flirting with you...

    Or just be cold with him. When he asks "did you sleep well" reply with "ahem". When he says something don't reply at all or just try to sound like you really don't care. Maybe he will "get it" and stop. Just act like ignorant bitch i guess
    In other words, act like a teenager? The only result you get from dropping psychic hints is ugly divorces and misunderstandings.

    How about acting like an adult and clearly telling this guy that his behaviour is inappropriate, tell him you'll go to the school and/or take legal action if it continues. If it does continue, actually DO go to the school, then take legal action if it still continues.

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    Drop the class. And tell him that his unprofessional and unacceptable behavior is WHY you're dropping the class.

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    It's called sexual harrassment.

    It's against the law when it's a person in a position of power over you that does it.

    Contact the Dean & a good lawyer. He could be fired & blacklisted because once you get that kind of rep, it will follow you, and loose his pension if applicable.
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    You know, you do realize you're paying money for this class and receiving unwanted advances? If you're too afraid to be straight up with him - you're the "customer" so take it up with the "manager".

    You shouldn't be put in that situation period. I had similar problems at work. I don't confront the person making the advances, that is just more problems. I take it up with management. If they ignore it - it escalates to a lawsuit.

    You shouldn't have to deal with people who make you uncomfortable in that way. Talking with that person is just going to give you more bad vibes and issues. Talk to the Dean or head and deal with it from there. Wash yourself clean from him. Drop the class in addition.

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    Go up the chain. Talk to your school counselor or the head of the department or whatever. Do NOT tolerate this behavior as "oh, he's just touchy-feely." It is not appropriate, and you should not have to sit there and tolerate it.

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    Oh and p.s. if someone flames you for asking for advice in a situation like this, then they are dumbasses.

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    Put in a formal complaint with his employers. This is far beyond 'weird' and totally unacceptable.

    And since you're underage, put that pedophile scumbag in his place. Preferably behind bars.

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    some of the advices given in this thread seem to circle around aggressive means to get revenge on the guy. These might have been intended as half-jokes, but I still want to say that I think it's a BAD idea to lie about a violent husband or get a biker-dude to scare the shit out of him, OR even to have the ultimate aim to be for him to lose his pension and be black-listed forever. Your ultimate aim is for the inappropriate actions to end so that you can feel secure. The adult thing to do is therefore to take it to his boss and if he doesn't have one, as you say, drop the class.

    Doing stuff that's wrong warrants a punishment, but do not seek revenge for revenge's sake.
    Last edited by Serpian; November 2nd, 2010 at 03:51 PM.

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  28. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by MiniGoth View Post
    Put in a formal complaint with his employers. This is far beyond 'weird' and totally unacceptable.

    And since you're underage, put that pedophile scumbag in his place. Preferably behind bars.
    Wait what?

    The person is under 45 but how are they under 18 when married (I know age of consent is different but still) I'm not seeing the "underage" part in this story, that's all.

    I'm all for getting after people who are sexual predators and all but I'd be careful about labeling someone a pedophile if they actually aren't x.x;;
    Last edited by Arshes Nei; November 2nd, 2010 at 06:55 PM.

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  30. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elwell View Post
    Drop the class. And tell him that his unprofessional and unacceptable behavior is WHY you're dropping the class.
    Also tell this to the head of his department, or the dean, or whoever the appropriate supervisor would be.

    Oh, and get a refund for the class. It's one thing to drop a class because of personal whatever, but dropping because of sexual harassment from the professor deserves recompensation as well as no negative marks on your college record.
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  32. #22
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    The next time you are in school, check to see if anyone else has noticed his crap towards you. That gives you witnesses.

    Then go to the highest ranking officer of the school you can access and inform them what is going on, in explicit detail, and mention that others have seen the behavior. Then tell that person that if that teacher is not reprimanded and ordered to stop immediately with absolutely no repercussions against you, you will call the police and have sexual assault and sexual harassment charges brought against him.

    DO NOT accept anything the higher-ups tell you unless it's in writing. Don't agree to anything unless it's in writing, and make sure no action is taken that will prevent you from speaking out.

    If no one listens the first day, at the end of the day, inform them in writing (multiple people and copy for yourself) you are dropping the class because of sexual harassment and that you are in fear of your safety, AND you are demanding full refund for that class and detrimental action on your record. Then call the police and file a formal complaint.

    This bastard should NOT be allowed near any child or woman (or male, for that matter) because he's a dickless power-tripping predator, and he won't stop until he is publicly exposed and punished.

    BEFORE you do anything, get your friends together and ask for their protection because you're afraid of this guy. Tell them they don't have to get actively involved in what you're about to do, but that they should just watch your back in case he gets physical. All of the things I just mentioned aren't to scare you. The idea is to build a case against him before it turns into a "he said/she said" situation.
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  34. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ilaekae View Post
    This bastard should NOT be allowed near any child or woman (or male, for that matter) because he's a dickless power-tripping predator, and he won't stop until he is publicly exposed and punished.
    WOAH! You have already condemned him. Let's castrate him right now, why waste judge's time! What happened with "innocent until proven guilty"? You almost called him a pedophile, when there is absolutely no indication of such thing. Maybe he is guilty of sexual harassment, but you make it sound like he is serial rapist and pedophile. Isn't it a bit early to condemn him like that?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Serpian View Post
    some of the advices given in this thread seem to circle around aggressive means to get revenge on the guy. These might have been intended as half-jokes, but I still want to say that I think it's a BAD idea to lie about a violent husband or get a biker-dude to scare the shit out of him, OR even to have the ultimate aim to be for him to lose his pension and be black-listed forever. Your ultimate aim is for the inappropriate actions to end so that you can feel secure. The adult thing to do is therefore to take it to his boss and if he doesn't have one, as you say, drop the class.

    Doing stuff that's wrong warrants a punishment, but do not seek revenge for revenge's sake.
    Nothing is about revenge on my part.

    It's the result of standing up for your self-respect that may lead to some of the things I've spoken, and if so, then so be it.

    No man has the right to put a woman in the situation he has. It's not about revenge, it's about her rights.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vari View Post
    WOAH! You have already condemned him. Let's castrate him right now, why waste judge's time! What happened with "innocent until proven guilty"? You almost called him a pedophile, when there is absolutely no indication of such thing. Maybe he is guilty of sexual harassment, but you make it sound like he is serial rapist and pedophile. Isn't it a bit early to condemn him like that?
    He's abusing a position of power to sexually harass a student in his classroom. I wouldn't call him a pedophile, but only because clearly children aren't what he's into not because he wouldn't abuse his power as an adult over a child.

    Assuming Mrs.Turtles is being forthright about this matter (and I have no reason nor sufficient stake to assume otherwise), this professor is acting in a despicable manner comparable to a pedophile.
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    Quote Originally Posted by iliketurtles View Post
    "Oh, so there's no friends with benefits?"
    Anyone who uses that phrase deserves to be beaten, regardless of their behaviour.

    As for your problem, why not just say, "Sorry, I'm not interested"? If he carries on then make a complaint. I'm maybe missing something but he doesn't sound like Ted Bundy to me.

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    Vari, I was a teacher and students' rights advocate for nearly 15 years. The OP does not appear to be a simpering little nebbish who imagines evil lurking around every corner. Based on those two facts, I gave her the best advice I could. Any bastard (male OR FEMALE) that sexually harasses a student under their supervision in any way is a predator. Period. I personally permanently got rid of four morons who made life miserable for my students, and then retaliated against them when they were reported for bad behavior. I don't abide assholes.

    You accuse me of over-reacting and prejudgement? How about this, posted by some apparently pre-pubescent wise ass as a solution?

    "Tell him a story of how your husband got in jail for 6 months after smashing the face of some guy who was flirting with you...

    Or just be cold with him. When he asks "did you sleep well" reply with "ahem". When he says something don't reply at all or just try to sound like you really don't care. Maybe he will "get it" and stop. Just act like ignorant bitch i guess"

    Claassssssss act, Bubba...
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  41. #28
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    Did you signaled him your disinterest?

    How about talking to him after class? Tell him not to invade your personal space, tell him about your discomfort. Every healthy minded man would back off.
    If it does not immediately stop you should take it to the head of his department
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    Quote Originally Posted by R a n d i s View Post
    Did you signaled him your disinterest?

    How about talking to him after class? Tell him not to invade your personal space, tell him about your discomfort. Every healthy minded man would back off.
    If it does not immediately stop you should take it to the head of his department
    The problem with this is that if she doesn't want contact, she shouldn't continue being in contact with him, and certainly not alone.

    If he was a healthy minded male he wouldn't have put her in this predicament and continued this behavior.

    I highly advise against any 1 on 1 contact from this guy. If she must talk with the guy, bring a friend or someone so that it stops. This also means she has a witness that there was corrective action taking place.

    Doing anything alone with this guy creates a "his word vs hers" scenario.
    Last edited by Arshes Nei; November 2nd, 2010 at 07:06 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ilaekae View Post
    Vari, I was a teacher and students' rights advocate for nearly 15 years. The OP does not appear to be a simpering little nebbish who imagines evil lurking around every corner. Based on those two facts, I gave her the best advice I could. Any bastard (male OR FEMALE) that sexually harasses a student under their supervision in any way is a predator. Period. I personally permanently got rid of four morons who made life miserable for my students, and then retaliated against them when they were reported for bad behavior. I don't abide assholes.

    You accuse me of over-reacting and prejudgement? How about this, posted by some apparently pre-pubescent wise ass as a solution?

    "Tell him a story of how your husband got in jail for 6 months after smashing the face of some guy who was flirting with you...

    Or just be cold with him. When he asks "did you sleep well" reply with "ahem". When he says something don't reply at all or just try to sound like you really don't care. Maybe he will "get it" and stop. Just act like ignorant bitch i guess"

    Claassssssss act, Bubba...
    That was a joke, it's obvious. Half of the posts before me suggested stupid things like stabbing him with stilettos and inviting hairy bikers so I decided to kind of jump on the bandwagon. Now, i guess it's not very funny joke, but I tried.

    I was however serious about the "be cold to him part". Maybe she was very open to him and he kind of got the idea that she liked him or something. Happens all the time. The woman at the book store smiles at you and you go "omg, she likes me!". So maybe he just misunderstood her or she gave mixed signals. Now I'm not saying that " she was asking for it", but if he is really lonely it's easy to get hooked by the first woman that shows some interest in you. OP never tried to tell him to stop, so maybe he thought she was ok with it.

    I think that OP is at least 30 years old. It's private class, so the teacher is not really in any position of power. She is free to leave at any time. We are not talking about a teen forced to endure this, because her teacher will give her bad grades.

    And I'm not pre-pubescent. I'm law student and for me justice is kind of a big deal. That's why judging a person so harshly, just based on one post of someone named Iliketurtles seems wrong to me. Leave judgments to the judge, that's his job.

    P.S. I think we are being trolled, but maybe I'm just paranoic.
    Last edited by Vari; November 2nd, 2010 at 07:31 PM.

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