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  1. #31
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    i think what works best is simply talking normal to people. If you are interested in someone then simply say hello and start a conversation or say honestly that you would simply like to get to know her. A simple hello goes a long way with a friendly smile.

    Horrible are all sorts of pickup lines, simply because they always sound like pickup lines.

    Some sense of Situational Humor can do wonders, making someone smile is always a win.

    It also much depends on what the woman in question is after and you should know what you want.
    If you are looking for a serious relationship, night clubs are maybe not the best place as people usually look for fun and flirt there or simply want to relax after work and are not looking for anything.

    Different people have different approaches, some try to make friends first and see if something develops out of it, IMO a time waster.

    If you are very handsome you can basically say anything, just keep smiling.

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    This is the reason many relationships just plain turn out like shit.

    Good relationships come from good friendships. And while friendships are started in a lot of different ways, using your manhood as a compass generally isn't the best bet long term.

    My advice? Don't talk to girls. Too many guys talk to girls. Especially in public where people are just getting on with their daily lives.

    Instead spend your time becoming something really worthwhile, something you can really be proud of, that will perhaps gather the interest of a nice girl. And then when a girl is interested of her own accord, spend your time listening, not talking. And while all that's happening, be honest to yourself about your feelings in relation to it.

    As a guy who often gets mistaken for a girl. When guys to that in public. It's usually just creepy.

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    Can we change the name of The Lounge to The Live Journal?

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    Yeah, Two Listen said it - work hard on yourself. Have something to offer. Challenge yourself to work on eliminating insecurities. Figure out who you are and be comfortable with that. Then don't bother to bring it up. Just be confident -- and maybe a little bit cocky enough to go say "Hi".

    When you are out and comfortable in your own skin, when you're not busy worrying about anything.. you will notice who's interested in talking to you. But also remember that its up to you to take that risk.. most girls don't approach. If/when you miss your chance.. kick yourself in the ass and get it right next time.

    EDIT: And carry yourself well. Your posture reflects how you relate yourself to the rest of the world. If you are hunched over like Quasimodo, staring at the ground hoping no one will notice you.. well they probably won't.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Two Listen View Post
    Instead spend your time becoming something really worthwhile, something you can really be proud of, that will perhaps gather the interest of a nice girl. And then when a girl is interested of her own accord, spend your time listening, not talking. And while all that's happening, be honest to yourself about your feelings in relation to it.
    I couldn't disagree more. You should spend your time living, not focusing on work OR people. Do both.
    Also, sitting at home painting isn't going to get the attention of a girl. If you only get a girl when you are famous/extremely talented/wealthy... do you really want the attention of girls so vain as to only find interest in you for these qualities?
    Listening is good advice. But talking is better advice. No one likes talking to someone who is monologging, nor talking to someone who carries a conversation as well as a brick. Just listen and respond. Interaction is key and you can't do that by just listening or just blabbering.


    Girls are people. Just talk to people the same regardless of gender. Any life partner you are shopping for is just that.. a life partner.. if you plan on spending all your time with someone they should be your best friend and not just eye candy (since old age can really turn good candy bad).

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jason Rainville View Post
    *approach girl as if she was a vendor*

    "Hello I'll take a short and spicy, please."

    EDIT: Well I suppose some girls are "vendors" of sorts...
    You could do that, in some cases it may work but... idk, not the best approach. It's not so much about what you say rather than how you say it, sometimes the differences are very subtle.

    On another note while I believe that relationships should also have a significant friendship part to them, there's also a high possibility that if you start out as friends that's all it's ever gonna be. Ideally you'd develop these two aspects simultaneously.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Blue View Post
    Also, sitting at home painting isn't going to get the attention of a girl.
    Oh for fuck's sake, now you tell me.

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    It is not possible to talk to gurlz. Or wimmenz. Or femail anything. Just stare in their general direction so they think you're paying attention while they determine your fate in 23 ancient languages with others of their species gathered about. Nod in random directions once in a while to reinforce the "paying attention" thing. Never...EVER...speak directly to them about anything. Never look at anything/anyone else during these periods, either, especially if it could be construed as "femail." This DOES extend to ants and small non-flowering plants.

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  13. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by R a n d i s View Post
    Different people have different approaches, some try to make friends first and see if something develops out of it, IMO a time waster.
    Not a waste of time if you end up with a new friend

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    once you've got a spouse there really isn't much reason to go out and talk to anyone ever again.
    word.

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    Be confident in who you are-- remind yourself there are people who like you for pretty much who you are and then go into the conversation remembering you're a worthwhile person to get to know...the first time my husband talked to me he was clearly nervous and talking too much and I was trying not to let on how completely awesome I thought he was.

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    Seriously, just chill out.
    Even though we have established that women are from Space, some of them can actually be reasoned with and are fluent in our Earth languages..

    A select few will even share interests with you, providing an easy conversation option. "Holy shit! you're right, Shogun Assassin is actually a more coherent film than the first two Babycart movies! despite being dubbed."

    At this point you may conclude you have found some ultimate combo of boobs, friendship and good taste, but BEWARE!

    If they select you as a mate, they'll do that obsessive cushions thing..I only own one sofa, how many cushions do we need?

    Beware the soft furnishings..for they will come...Pretty soon everything in the world will be covered in decorative throws, bean bags, wall hangings, and weird little things to burn scented candles in..

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    Quote Originally Posted by Blue View Post
    If you only get a girl when you are famous/extremely talented/wealthy... do you really want the attention of girls so vain as to only find interest in you for these qualities?
    Well I guess if those are the only qualities you'd feel worthwhile and proud of having, then you're right, you shouldn't work on achieving that. But I don't remember recommending that, specifically.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Flake View Post
    Seriously, just chill out.
    If they select you as a mate, they'll do that obsessive cushions thing..I only own one sofa, how many cushions do we need?

    Beware the soft furnishings..for they will come...Pretty soon everything in the world will be covered in decorative throws, bean bags, wall hangings, and weird little things to burn scented candles in..
    I don't want to speak for the rest of my fellow bachelors, but my place currently looks like a prison cell with extra dirty laundry... I couldn't argue with a feminine touch (or feminine intervention as it were)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Liffey View Post
    I don't want to speak for the rest of my fellow bachelors, but my place currently looks like a prison cell with extra dirty laundry...
    Well, in some cases a hostile chick-style takeover really is a huge improvement.

    I'm just sayin, be aware that it will happen.

    Last edited by Flake; October 27th, 2010 at 10:30 PM.
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    Probably already expressed in another post, but when it comes to talking to girls, remember they're all different and aren't necessarily THAT different than guys (besides the obvious). When going up to a girl, except for thinking about how attractive she is, think about her as a friend. What do you do when you hang out with people you know? What do you talk about? If you think of the conversation in that light, it makes the situation less stressful and more fun.

    If after talking to her and you realize she does or doesn't have common interest with you, then progress to another step if you want. As someone who talks to guys (I'm a girl) a lot, I find that, honestly, there is very little that I talk about with guys that I don't talk about with girls.

    Now some girls won't talk about stereotypical things like football, video games, computers, or even porn, but that's no big deal. Just look for another girl that will or talk about another subject.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TASmith View Post
    My problem was never so much talking to girls as talking to anyone. Still a problem. When I was young I had the separate problem that girls didn't want to talk to me.
    THIS. People don't talk to me, and I hate initiating conversations. This goes for people in general, not just girls.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Anid Maro View Post
    I beg to differ, once you've got a spouse and job there really isn't much reason to go out and talk to anyone ever again.

    Nobody outside your work or home has anything you need, if you want to avoid the spouse just pretend you don't have time 'cause of work, and you can use your spouse as an excuse to cut out of work. It's bulletproof!
    I admit that this is how I operate. BUT my spouse is not a girl, so I am safe. He's kinda screwed, though.

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    Does he do the cushion thing too?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Flake View Post
    Does he do the cushion thing too?
    When we first moved in together I, seized by the primal mating urge, bought two cushions and a smelly candle. And then with the sofa safely outnumbered, I went back to wallpapering the house with books.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Flake View Post
    ...Beware the soft furnishings..for they will come...Pretty soon everything in the world will be covered in decorative throws, bean bags, wall hangings, and weird little things to burn scented candles in..
    It is through the gathering and distribution of scented candles and decorative throws that we establish the space as our nest. The radioactive mucus we inject into your ears through our proboscises are how we mark you as our own.

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  32. #54
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    Randis is offline ( ゚∀゚)/ ♥♥♥ おっぱい!おっぱい! Level 13 Gladiator: Retiarius
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    There is a fitting lid for every jar.

    It is not about impressing someone, it is about finding someone who likes you just the way you are.

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    Quote Originally Posted by R a n d i s View Post
    It is not about impressing someone, it is about finding someone who likes you just the way you are.
    Yeeah... but on the other hand, you need to make it obvious that your making an 'effort'. At least in the initial stages.

    In other news, I found this funny...
    Quote Originally Posted by Blue View Post
    If you only get a girl when you are famous/extremely talented/wealthy... do you really want the attention of girls so vain as to only find interest in you for these qualities?


    Last edited by karma militia; October 28th, 2010 at 05:09 AM.
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  36. #56
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    FourTonMantis is offline Without vision we will die Level 11 Gladiator: Essedarii
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    If any of you were anything like me in high school, it seemed that there was some sort of unspoken ruling that prevented us "lower folk" from speaking or interacting with the more "popular" or "attractive" people. I've learned something very important since entering college:

    That's a load of fucking bullshit.

    People, no matter what, tend to naturally make social situations awkward. Ever notice how on the first day of class, people tend to do the "one chair rule"? It never fails. For example, there's this girl in my geology class that I noticed from the first day. I consciously took that leap to talk to her. Turns out she has a boyfriend buuut you think I gave that up?

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    Eww but girls have cooties D:

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    ahahahaaaa the cushion and candle thing is so true...

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    Straight Edge Ryan is offline much less of a douchebag in person, I promise Level 6 Gladiator: Provocator
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