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October 15th, 2010 #1
Trying a somewhat new process, simple sketch, basic colours underneath then painting details directly over top. Used to be everything was values first then colour overlays then direct paint but sometimes I feel my values and colours are a bit hollow.
Anyhow any crits welcome. I think the laying siren needs to have a bigger head and I'm not sure if I want to move the foreground one up on the canvas or not.
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I like the way you have painted the standing figure. Very nice.
If I was to critique it, it would be on composition. There is nowhere in particular that seems to be the central focus. The standing figure is the most detailed (but it is a WIP, so I don't know how far you will take the other figures). If the standing woman is meant to be the focal, then I think you will need to find ways to make this the case, be it by introducing more colours, more intensely lit etc.
No figure grabs my attention more than another. The focus could be all of the figures, but the way that they are laid out makes this out of the question in my opinion. I feel to strengthen the composition, the furthest away figure will need to be dulled significantly, or taken out. The front two figures disappear off the frame, which is fine, but most of the paintings that I have seen work a lot better without the frame cutting some limbs off.
(This is all advice from someone who knows less than you, just my $0.02)
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October 15th, 2010 #3
I have to agree with the previous poster. A suggestion would be to perhaps move the sirens a little to the right so that the standing figure (who seems to have been intended as the main focus point) is more centrally located and draws the viewers eye better, because in her current position she seems out of the limelight.
Secondly, I would maybe like to see a few small lights, like oil lamps, added on the boat, just to give it a little bit of life. I think it would not only give a little more color contrast to the predominantly blue piece, but also not let the ship get lost so much in the background, because right now it would be tough to tell exactly what's going on in this picture if I didn't know the title.
Hope this helps!
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October 15th, 2010 #4
Thanks guys, I like the crits on the comp and boat lights a lot; my intent for the focus was for the viewer to start at the beginning of the little story (sirens pulling in a ship) on the left, but then moving down and through the look of the laying siren down to the "reveal" which would be the skulls, blood and sword. I think some more contrast/detail down there would help bring more focus (I tried that with the blood), and I'll see about shifting the positions of the sirens (and toning down the back one)
keep em comin if you got em.
Last edited by Jason Rainville; October 15th, 2010 at 02:32 PM.
October 15th, 2010 #5
The tangent between the foreground figure's head and the laying figure's torso is kinda awkward, it makes it look like the laying figure is balancing on the foreground figure's head. I think the piece would look stronger composition-wise if you erased the laying figure completely, slightly scaled down and moved the standing one to our right and added some more canvas space to the top and left sides.
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October 15th, 2010 #6
October 15th, 2010 #7
The only real issue I have with the composition thus far is that, well, the figure lying on her stomach is lying flat against the rock. And last I recalled, rocks aren't always obliging in creating a nice flat patch for you to lie against, not to mention how jarring it is compared to the other figures which are more naturally posed in the environment.
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October 15th, 2010 #8
At risk of unbalancing the composition, I'm wishing that there was more canvas space between the ship and the girls as well as more of a sense of the vastness of the ocean. Right now, it seems like the feeling of the relationship between the vast ocean and the little island the girls are on are reversed, which just doesn't feel right to me (even if the focus is obviously on the sirens).
All the girls are looking good to me except for the laying one. The contours/lighting on the back don't look quite natural and the shoulders seem a bit masculine or something. And I do think the head may be a bit small (either that, or she needs more cranium).
Also, since the girl at the bottom is holding a bloody knife, will we see a [somewhat fresh] victim's corpse right next to her, maybe going off on that corner of the canvas.
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October 15th, 2010 #9
I always like triangle compositions. I think its just a good standard set up that works.
As for suggestions? I think the values so far are leading the eye but all the of the sirens are so equally lit, the dept isnt really reading right for me. I'm curious if you have some preference on the overall layout? Because I agree with what wooblood said about the ship and the girls, so maybe you could make it more of a horizontal piece? You could fit more space as far as aerial perspective and space on the picture plane maybe?
I really enjoy the colors though.
Just have fun.
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October 16th, 2010 #10Registered User
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nice, what are your brush settings when painting skin? Also, you use hard or soft brush?
October 16th, 2010 #11
Update; the crits on the comp I think were spot on, the sirens feel more gestalt and there's a bit more lead in to the story. I also thing the stronger highlights on the standing leg lead the eye down a bit better. Also not sure if I want the crashing wave or not;
October 16th, 2010 #12
Much better indeed . The only crit I have is a bit of a nitpick I guess; the skulls indicate old kills but the blood is fresh (also contradictory with the fact that they are still trying to lure in the ship rather than already having made their kill). I think if you painted old blood stains on the rock, brown and rusty, it'd be less contradictory.
The left leg of the standing siren seems a bit thick, there isn't very much of a transition from thigh to knee to calf. I think the thigh should be just slightly thinner close to the knee. Quite beautiful women otherwise though, I'm very pleased you chose to give the women a slight bit more meat than you see on your average fantasy woman.
Oh, and perhaps the sky should be slightly darker. It's really good otherwise though. You're an inspiration to me and I'm sure many others .
October 16th, 2010 #13
Oh, and I forgot something. I think the underside of her left butt-cheek needs a slight.. Crease? The weight is on that leg and she's standing upright, so as a result the muscles of the leg and her butt are being pressed together there. This is based on what my own body does though (and a reference). I made a quick paintover to make myself more clear; also changed the leg a bit while I was at it.
It's also really good to hear that I'm not the only one who uses the standard round brush for painting ^^.