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  1. #1
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    Wait for me ::UPDATED

    I started this a few weeks ago and I never got it to look done/right, so i took a pause, I guess if I don't get it critiqued and wrap it up it will stay a wip forever LOL.
    Tell me what looks wrong, what needs to be fixed, red line it if you like.
    Obviously, it still needs some blacks and whites, but I am NOT happy with the faces.. they look constipated. xP

    Attachment 1074120
    This is the stock I used as reference,
    http://browse.deviantart.com/resourc...set=48#/dmmoku

    Thanks for your time!
    Last edited by LA-Fairy; October 11th, 2010 at 03:10 PM. Reason: updated


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  3. #2
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    Get a lot of reference for her legs. Right now she resembles a jackrabbit. You could use a lot more reference in general, in fact. Even sitting in front of a mirror and taking the pose yourself would help a lot.
    The Nezumi Works Sketchbook - Now in progress

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    "Skill is the result of trying again and again, applying our ability and proving our knowledge as we gain it. Let us get used to throwing away the unsuccessful effort and doing the job over. Let us consider obstacles as something to be expected in any endeavor; then they won't seem quite so insurmountable or so defeating." - Andrew Loomis

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  5. #3
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    So the woman can shoot red webs and the guy's going to give himself a haircut with a gun? Recommend checking your positioning of the gun again as well as finding some reference on how arterial blood would pour on a surface like the forearm.
    Amateur Artist. Professional Asshole.

    Lookit the Pretty!

    Rule #1 of depicting soldiers: KEEP THE DAMN FINGER OFF THE DAMN TRIGGER.

  6. #4
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    ^LOL... spiderwebs xD

    So I just did some quick red lines from what was said, think this will work?
    Attachment 1074465

  7. #5
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    Looks OK. You are off on the legs by about a mile, though.

    Wait for me ::UPDATED

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  9. #6
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    In addition to everything that has been already said, watch the guy's anatomy on his left shoulder. it looks like you're trying to depict the collarbone? Grab some reference. His head looks like it's floating because his neck is just a shadow. His ear shouldn't be facing the viewer head-on if his head is turned. The girl's neck and cleavage don't line up on her chest, and her left foot is tiiiiinnnnnyyyy. And don't cut part of him out of the composition- the way its set up now my eyes immediately travel down the girls arm and then across to his other leg, right out of the picture.
    Good luck

  10. #7
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    So I wanted to share a little update, I worked on the face today and hair and a bit of the chest.
    Attachment 1076135
    I'll be working on the legs tomorrow.
    Thanks for the help, I'll post an full update tomorrow!
    After everything that has been pointed out I can see how low the collor bone is and how thin his arms are and long hers LOL.

  11. #8
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    You're trying to fix a painting that is based on a badly constructed drawing.

    It may feel like you're salvaging all the work you've already done on it, but you're not. You're just sinking more time and effort into a lopsided drawing that is not helping you along and won't work right without redrawing it anyway. A good drawing would support your painting, but this here only bogs you down - it is easier to start over than to fix an advanced case like this piece by piece.

    So the best you could do to save the situation is leave the painting for now, and redraw the whole scene in pencil. Don't go into small detail, but focus on getting the body masses and perspective right. Post the intermediate results here if you like, to check whether you got it.

    Only after you have a solid constructive drawing, you should go on to detail, tonal work and/or color. It saves you a lot of grief (and precious time) to get gross errors out on an early stage, rather than trying to fix an already painted thing.

    And next time, remember not to rush into painting before you have figured out the structure, and not to rush into detail until you have figured out the basics.

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  13. #9
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    ^Yeah, I should just go ahead and do a pencil linework for it, but I worked on it some more before I saw your post...
    Attachment 1080331

    Does it look any better?

  14. #10
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    The jeans need work. The right pant leg is looser than an old hooker while the left leg is tighter than a hipster's trendiest jeans.
    Amateur Artist. Professional Asshole.

    Lookit the Pretty!

    Rule #1 of depicting soldiers: KEEP THE DAMN FINGER OFF THE DAMN TRIGGER.

  15. #11
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    .... seriously, man, you need to work on your understanding of anatomy and perspective. Like, NOW.

    Go to fineart.sk, get the five textbooks by Andrew Loomis. Start with "Successful Drawing and "Fun with the Pencil", and go on to "Figure Drawing". Ditch Photoshop or whatever it is you are using; draw with a pencil.

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