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  1. #1
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    Help?

    Okay, so this is a fairly quick painting that I did, - about and hour and a half total. Critiques? Maybe ideas for the tech? A weak spot of mine is tech and sci-fi related design, so any help in that department would be awesome!
    Thanks in advanced guys!

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    Lovely, evocative piece. The upper portion of the head disappearing into darkness is especially effective. I would say watch the shapes and edges of your highlights. the hard edged circles on the breasts look like pentimenti for the aureoles. While that intensity of light is possible, the edges should blend more subtly, and for purposes of the shape of the highlight in the indicated areas of the breast, interpret the form of the breast as oviod, not spherical.

    Additionally, if the highlight on the breasts is going to be that bright, there will be just touches of almost equally bright light defining the form of the abdominal arch--top of the rib-cage--, and the top portion of the abdominals; also possible at the swell of the stomach below the navel and on the thighs. with the bone just below the surface at the abdominal arch, highlights there will be rather harder-edged, tho still not as hard or uniform as your highlights on the breasts, while the edges will be much softer and subtle on the stomach and thighs.

    "Three's so little room for error."--Elwell
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    Alright, so based on your suggestion Cory, I toned down the highlight on the breasts and changed the shape a bit. It looks a lot better, I think - more realistic. I'm still not happy with the mechanism on her head though, I feel like it's a little out of place - although I'd like the have something like that in the painting. I also changed the highlights slightly on her right shoulder and collarbone...

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    That helped a lot, but something I wanna point out if I may.. She's supposed to be in water, yes? I think so. When I first opened it up, it took a second to realize this. Maybe perhaps draw some light ripple lines from the exposed portions of her thighs, shoulders and neck.. as in water they always have a slight movement to them no matter how still the water is. Just something to better convey that it's liquid.

    That's just something I noticed.. maybe even draw a bit of water droplets on her exposed legs/arms running off.

    Just my crazy two cents

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    Good job on the effect of her being submerged in the water. I'd like to see some highlights on the hands though, they don't read as coming out of the water, in my humble opinion. Maybe if you were to add some lights, like LEDs, to the visor, it'd seem more technical. Or maybe an imprint of what she is seeing behind the display.

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    Alright, so added some highlights around her skin where the water meets, gave the overall water base texture and put some more stuff on her helmet. It's looking better. Let me know what you guys think

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    Sweet effect you are aiming for. Great work so far.

    It has a little bit static feel to it. The pattern in the bg is almost straight (vertical-horizontal) and her legs are nearly parallel as well, maybe try to adjust the angle of one of her leg a bit. I think opening the legs a bit would give her more of a floating body.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Vaejoun View Post
    Sweet effect you are aiming for. Great work so far.

    It has a little bit static feel to it. The pattern in the bg is almost straight (vertical-horizontal) and her legs are nearly parallel as well, maybe try to adjust the angle of one of her leg a bit. I think opening the legs a bit would give her more of a floating body.
    Opening her legs a little - because they are at a slight angle from the rest of her body - just makes her look like she's stiff. Maybe I'm not understanding quite what you're saying but it makes it look strange and unnatural...

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    I made a quick paint over and you are right, the legs dont do much to it. Instead I made some variations on the depth effect in the water, to make the actual "over the water-body shape" pop out more and bring the focus higher.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Vaejoun View Post
    I made a quick paint over and you are right, the legs dont do much to it. Instead I made some variations on the depth effect in the water, to make the actual "over the water-body shape" pop out more and bring the focus higher.
    Wow, that changed it a lot! Thanks for the example, I've made some changes using your paint over as a reference. I also changed the angle of the right leg slightly.

    Water is not my strong point - as far as giving it body and life. Why I chose to do something that involved a girl in water I'll never know. But practice, right?

    Edit: I also tilted the patter slightly. You were right, it was way too straight lol.

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    Last edited by Caprica Six; September 16th, 2010 at 07:12 PM. Reason: More to add
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    perhaps you can the neck a tad thinner, not by much maybe shorter too.. Try highlighting shaowing some of the muscles in her neck cause it looks a bit odd compared to the rest of her well rendered body.

    Last edited by Marlo; September 16th, 2010 at 09:21 PM.
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    Depth

    I didn't go through all the previous messages yet, so if this was suggested before my apologies

    I think in order to give it that depth of water you should add some of that greenish black haze right on her elbows as well, so you can get the effect you had on the legs , that would be repetitive which could also enhance the visual rhythm.

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