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Thread: Question about Romantic Relationships

  1. #1
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    May 2010
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    Question Question about Romantic Relationships

    I wanted to ask you guys for some insight, if you would. Many of you are obviously very accomplished designers and artists and I can only imagine you have spent a considerable amount of time focusing on your work to reach your current level.

    My question is how did you (or do you) balance the amount of time it you spend developing as an artist with your personal life, particularly with romantic relationships. Do you just find incredibly supportive and understanding partners? I struggle to balance my desire to develop as an concept artist with my full time product design job and spending time with my girlfriend. She tries to be supportive but her desire for my attention and what I perceive as jealousy of my interest in wanting to spend time doing something that doesn't involve her often get the best of her I'm afraid.

    I know I have a long, upward climb infront of me. Any thoughts on maintaining a good romantic relationship without compromising your dreams and ambitions and career goals?
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  3. #2
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    Jun 2006
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    I been married for over 12 years not but during my younger days before as a Student artist I was lab rat and not much into anything but doing my art and have fun if I had the time. As for romantic relationships I just let them happen.. Yes your art is important but your mental health is more important. if you lost one you lost both.. I had some great relationships how they happen was a wonder but they happen and it made me a better artist I feel .. some ended well some ended not so well but in the end i did find that right person that is supportive and love me for be the artist I am and they make be feel whole..

    the best thing I can say is find the time to step away from the work .. its good to take time out..and having some to share that time is the best thing I feel.

    Hope that helps

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  4. #3
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    If you're at a point where you need to work around the clock to achieve your goals as an artist I would say don't get involved in serious romantic relationships. It's good to date casually when you're such a point in your life so you can have human interaction but you're not dragging someone along for the ride so to speak.

    Sometimes one gets to a point in their life where they're not available for relationships or friendships even though they would like them.

    However I'm not a great artist. And I made the decision a few months ago to lay off the romance until I get my head straight.
    "Astronomy offers an aesthetic indulgence not duplicated in any other field. This is not an academic or hypothetical attraction and should require no apologies, for the beauty to be found in the skies has been universally appreciated for unrecorded centuries."
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  6. #4
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    ^I dont agree at all with the above

    Id say it would be almost impossible to work on something as frustrating and complex as art (concept art what ever id be) with out the support from friends, and also significant others. There is no possible way for someone to spend 24 hours, 7 days a week, 356 without absolutely going nuts, part of learning your craft is learning to step away from it. If you don' t it will pretty much eat away at you.

    I know theres no way I would have made it half as far as I have without my girlfriend, because when everything seems to be going wrong you have to have people to vent with and also keep helping you push forward, most of the time thats what CA is for people. I'm just lucky to have found CA and my girlfriend at the same time (been together 4years or something).

    Yeah relationships can be pretty tough when theres a ton of crap in both peoples lives but the benefits of having a really close personal friend who makes everything better after a long hard day of doing artsy crap is defiantly worth it. If not a Girlfriend or boyfriend then at least a group of good friends.
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  8. #5
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    Serious moment: Ask yourself what you want out of life? Do you really...REALLY want to be a pro artist supporting yourself with your own creations? OR do you want a life with a girl that would complete you?

    If you want a career as an artist it's not going to be easy by any stretch of the imagination. It will take a desperate focus. If you can have a girlfriend and it not detract from your art then cool.

    But if you REALLY want something, and there's an obstacle in the way of you getting it I would say get rid of it.

    My friends ALWAYS want to hangout. A lot of time I do hangout with them. But if I'm working on something I won't hesitate to focus on my work. But at the same time, life is a balancing act. As the first reply stated, you need your mental health as an artist.

    So my main advice was already stated...If you really want it and theres something in the way, remove that something. Do whatever it takes to get to where you want to be if it will make you happy.
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  9. #6
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    work, alcohol, video games. Who needs more?
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  11. #7
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    Involve her. Either draw with her, for her, herself, or all of the above. Many artists even the masters, drew/painted their loved ones. Involving her in portrait or figure studies is a great way to spend both time with her and your art. You just knocked two birds with one stone, problem solved.
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  13. #8
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    I don't balance them at all. Wouldn't wish Brendan to be in the life of any woman right now. I work an average of 12 hours a day, and the go home either to beer and cigarettes or to a myriad of personal and non-work-related projects (at least 4 serious ones, several other infants).

    Don't think a romantic relationship would do me much good right now, far less so the poor dame who gets suckered into being my girlfriend.
    Brendan Noeth

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  14. #9
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    I think naturally as you keep moving towards everything you enjoy you run into people with similar goals... Then its just a matter of running with that person until you both achieve it. Don't just settle for somebody who doesn't have interest in what you do and wont understand you working at your dreaaaams. Find somebody who will help you get excited to do what you love, thats the best.
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  17. #11
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    I've been married for a few years now and I've never had an issue balancing my passions for my husband and other things that I'm passionate about (whether it be art or something else, since art is relatively new in the grand scheme of things in the last few years). He understands that, if I'm not giving him direct attention and I'm doing work or studies, it's not personal. I'm not ignoring him or saying that my work is more important than he is -- Often times he'll sit with me while I work and simply do something else in the same room or watch me work and critique as I go. It's become something that we can do together, even if I'm technically the only one doing it. (It does help, however, that he has a background in art himself and understands how much effort and time that it takes to improve. It's not something he does anymore, really, but it does help that he at least understands.)

    I think that, when you find the right person, everything just works and falls into place. It's comfortable no matter what the circumstances and, in a way, it's effortless. If this girl can't understand your passion for art and feels like it's in competition with her for your attention, she may simply just not be the right one for you. That being said, trying to incorporate her into your art routine (as was suggested by the others) could be a great way to lighten the tension and make her feel better. (And, heck, who would turn down a chance for a live model anyhow? I'm sure she'd be flattered.)
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  19. #12
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    She understands. I have been drawing a lot more then I use to so I don't hang out with anyone like I use to but I have asked her to be a model and she likes that (every girl wants to be a model. They might say they don't but they do.) so that helps.
    I'm the guy that does his job! You must be the other guy! <- longest link to a sketchbook ever.
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  21. #13
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    I married a gamer. Never had a single shred of trouble. And I'm sure he's incredibly relieved that I spend my evenings drawing rather than interrupting his raids and various hobbies.

    Given that, we do make time for one another. We fix and eat meals together, go on bike trips and "date nights" and all that. If you spend all your time in the studio you're not going to be a well-rounded artist and you're going to miss a ton of opportunities. There are all sorts of things you can do with your girlfriend that will improve your art and grow your social network. All you have to do is be awake enough to see an opportunity for what it is.

    You will have an easier time if you date people with similar social needs, though. If your girlfriend needs to go out with you every other night then you're going to have issues.
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