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  1. #1
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    happy 4th of july


    We're not just the first to land on the moon, but we had to go back just to play golf. We not only invented the twinky but we figured it deep fried it, because it was the right thing to do. We are the first and only country to slay our enemies with the power of the sun, then we bombed them again for the Lulz. Chances are whatever music you listen to America did it first. You can also thank America for airplanes, light bulbs and a useless thing called electricity. Don't forget the personal computer and the internet. I could go on forever but I'll just end the list with handguns and bourbon.


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    That's right! Fuck you Britain!


    No... hahaha...

    Anyway, happy inter-dependence day. Enjoy your temporary liberation from your daily work schedule...

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    Happy liberation you colonials!

    And in the spirit of poking fun:

    The Light Bulb

    The 1st light bulb was built by Humphry Davy (an Englishman) in 1809. Thomas Alva Edison improved the invention and based his improvements on a patent he purchased from inventors Henry Woodward & Matthew Evans who patented their bulb in 1875.

    First Powered Aircraft

    The first self-powered fixed-wing aircraft was created by Englishman John Stringfellow, whose unmanned model made its first successful flight in 1848.

    The Computer

    If you mean Electronic Computer, it was a man called Alan Turing from Cambridge UK, who was drafted in to Bletchley park secret base where they worked at cracking the WWII enigma codes that the Germans used every day. The Germans changed their Enigma machines to a four digit code maker. However, Because what went on at Bletchley Park the computer made from thousands of valves was kept top secret up until recently. The computer, named Colossus was smashed to pieces at the end of the war.

    Electricity

    1600 English scientist, William Gilbert first coined the term "electricity" from the Greek word for amber. Gilbert wrote about the electrification of many substances in his "De magnete, magneticisique corporibus". He also first used the terms electric force, magnetic pole, and electric attraction.

    The Internet

    Sir Timothy John "Tim" Berners-Lee, is a British engineer and computer scientist and MIT professor credited with inventing the World Wide Web, making the first proposal for it in March 1989.[2] On 25 December 1990, with the help of Robert Cailliau and a young student at CERN, he implemented the first successful communication between an HTTP client and server via the Internet.

    Oh and yes Sam Colt, and American did invent the revolver (almost) but his first patent was issued by the British!

    Last edited by Aly Fell; July 4th, 2010 at 09:18 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aly Fell View Post
    Happy liberation you colonials!

    And in the spirit of poking fun:

    The Light Bulb

    The 1st light bulb was built by Humphry Davy (an Englishman) in 1809. Thomas Alva Edison improved the invention and based his improvements on a patent he purchased from inventors Henry Woodward & Matthew Evans who patented their bulb in 1875.

    First Powered Aircraft

    The first self-powered fixed-wing aircraft was created by Englishman John Stringfellow, whose unmanned model made its first successful flight in 1848.

    The Computer

    If you mean Electronic Computer, it was a man called Alan Turing from Cambridge UK, who was drafted in to Bletchley park secret base where they worked at cracking the WWII enigma codes that the Germans used every day. The Germans changed their Enigma machines to a four digit code maker. However, Because what went on at Bletchley Park the computer made from thousands of valves was kept top secret up until recently. The computer, named Colossus was smashed to pieces at the end of the war.

    Electricity

    1600 English scientist, William Gilbert first coined the term "electricity" from the Greek word for amber. Gilbert wrote about the electrification of many substances in his "De magnete, magneticisique corporibus". He also first used the terms electric force, magnetic pole, and electric attraction.

    The Internet

    Sir Timothy John "Tim" Berners-Lee, is a British engineer and computer scientist and MIT professor credited with inventing the World Wide Web, making the first proposal for it in March 1989.[2] On 25 December 1990, with the help of Robert Cailliau and a young student at CERN, he implemented the first successful communication between an HTTP client and server via the Internet.

    Oh and yes Sam Colt, and American did invent the revolver (almost) but his first patent was issued by the British!

    Well we were the first to use nukes on another nation... so there

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    Quote Originally Posted by dpaint View Post
    Well we were the first to use nukes on another nation... so there
    Hahaha!

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    hey, no america dissing in this thread!

    america invented democracy and hot babes!

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    America invented W.
    Quote of the day: "A lot of our imports are made in other countries." Oh how I lolled...

    No, seriously guys, enjoy your fireworks today. The rest of the world has to wait till new years.....

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    July the 4th is the day Britian celebrates getting rid of you.


    I kid, I kid. Enjoy your fireworks

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    Fuck history and have a watermelon!

    Texans seem to be a big fan of watermelons on the 4th of July. Not sure why. This is my second summer here.

    Attachment 1012116

  17. #12
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    We would inject watermelons with alcohol for our picnics and trips to the beach where bottled booze was banned. Sort of like a melon daiquiri without the glass.

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    Typical delusional ignorant americans. let them play in their happy paddle pool
    J Shipp
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    Now...I like history as much as the next person.

    However, what could out-win Texans filling a watermelon with alcohol and going to the beach. That is awesome!

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    america invented democracy and hot babes
    Nope. That's Greece. And Sweden.

    As an interesting fact the Swedish national day is usually celebrated by not doing anything. Yay...

    Anyway. Have a a nice independence day. Keep those aliens at bay!
    "I've got ham, but I'm not a hamster"

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    Quote Originally Posted by tobbA View Post
    Nope. That's Greece. And Sweden.

    As an interesting fact the Swedish national day is usually celebrated by not doing anything. Yay...

    Anyway. Have a a nice independence day. Keep those aliens at bay!
    lol when you say aliens do you mean Mexicans? lol..............
    The Penvirates:: Xeon_OND :: PermaN00b:: Kamber Parrk :: Cygear ::Diarum

    "Life itself is your teacher, and you are in a state of constant learning." -Bruce Lee


  24. #17
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    Hey, America created Jazz and the Blues by enslaving another country. When England tried it with Ireland all they created was the Pogues.

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    The writer Harlan Ellison once wrote that there are "five native American art forms that we've given to the world: Jazz, of course. Musical comedy as we know it today. The detective story as crafted by Poe. The banjo. And comic books."

    If you're American, be proud today and read some damn comic books...
    "Contrary to the belief of the layman, the essential of art is not to imitate nature, but under the guise of imitation to stir up excitement with pure plastic elements: measurements, directions, ornaments, lights, values, colors, substances, divided and organized according to the injunctions of natural laws. While so occupied, the artist never ceases to be subservient to nature, but instead of imitating the incidents in a paltry way, he imitates the laws."-Andre Lhote

    Web, FineArt, Sketchbook

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  27. #19
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    Last edited by Diarum; July 4th, 2010 at 03:15 PM.
    The Penvirates:: Xeon_OND :: PermaN00b:: Kamber Parrk :: Cygear ::Diarum

    "Life itself is your teacher, and you are in a state of constant learning." -Bruce Lee


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  29. #20
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    America also gave the Hudson River School, American Impressionism, Abstract Expressionism, Post Modernism, a slew of museums, Hollywood, Broadway, a ton of theater, all kinds of rock n' roll, hip hop, etc...

    You can nit pick over the "first guy" over any topic, but there's always someone before him who got almost as close to the same discovery. And America's the country of immigrants. So, if an Englishman goes to MIT and discovers something, guess what, we get the credit. He's American now!

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    Izi

  31. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by TASmith View Post
    America also gave the Hudson River School, American Impressionism, Abstract Expressionism, Post Modernism, a slew of museums, Hollywood, Broadway, a ton of theater, all kinds of rock n' roll, hip hop, etc...

    You can nit pick over the "first guy" over any topic, but there's always someone before him who got almost as close to the same discovery. And America's the country of immigrants. So, if an Englishman goes to MIT and discovers something, guess what, we get the credit. He's American now!
    This is the equivalent of a silly humorous discussion in the pub TA. Could Superman beat Batman? Bill Clinton went to Oxford. Does that make him English?

    Incidentally, speaking of Harlan Ellison, he's selling a whole bunch of his books and stuff:

    http://harlanellison.com/heboard/visitors/brochure.pdf

  32. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Diarum View Post






    You have a way with words my friend.

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    LOL@All the jealous foreigners that are angry a 240 year old country is a world power. But by all means tell us how crappy we are, how you know us so well and our silly habits, and how we are soon going to get owned because all our jobs are in China.

    You guys (whoever you are) may have had a bunch of great mathematician and scientists or w/e but we've had the most prolific musicians and athletes of the last century. We've been dominating international sports(except futbol) for a century. Don't be mad cuz we have DisneyLand and a Harry Potter park(which is English) yet still it's in America. Not to mention we spawned some of the most technical artists in this industry.

    I'm not even patriotic but you guys seem like sore losers that are still mad about the late 1770's.
    Last edited by Stuart DeViva; July 4th, 2010 at 04:47 PM.
    The Sketchbook of Naj and Stu!:
    SKETCHBOOK

    And of course go check out the SB of DefiledVisions

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  35. #24
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    The Declaration Of Independence:

    When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

    We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security. --Such has been the patient sufferance of these colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former systems of government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute tyranny over these states. To prove this, let facts be submitted to a candid world.

    He has refused his assent to laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

    He has forbidden his governors to pass laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

    He has refused to pass other laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of representation in the legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

    He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

    He has dissolved representative houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

    He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the legislative powers, incapable of annihilation, have returned to the people at large for their exercise; the state remaining in the meantime exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

    He has endeavored to prevent the population of these states; for that purpose obstructing the laws for naturalization of foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migration hither, and raising the conditions of new appropriations of lands.

    He has obstructed the administration of justice, by refusing his assent to laws for establishing judiciary powers.

    He has made judges dependent on his will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

    He has erected a multitude of new offices, and sent hither swarms of officers to harass our people, and eat out their substance.

    He has kept among us, in times of peace, standing armies without the consent of our legislature.

    He has affected to render the military independent of and superior to civil power.

    He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his assent to their acts of pretended legislation:

    For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

    For protecting them, by mock trial, from punishment for any murders which they should commit on the inhabitants of these states:

    For cutting off our trade with all parts of the world:

    For imposing taxes on us without our consent:

    For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of trial by jury:

    For transporting us beyond seas to be tried for pretended offenses:



    For abolishing the free system of English laws in a neighboring province, establishing therein an arbitrary government, and enlarging its boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule in these colonies:

    For taking away our charters, abolishing our most valuable laws, and altering fundamentally the forms of our governments:

    For suspending our own legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

    He has abdicated government here, by declaring us out of his protection and waging war against us.

    He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burned our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

    He is at this time transporting large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of cruelty and perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the head of a civilized nation.

    He has constrained our fellow citizens taken captive on the high seas to bear arms against their country, to become the executioners of their friends and brethren, or to fall themselves by their hands.

    He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavored to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian savages, whose known rule of warfare, is undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

    In every stage of these oppressions we have petitioned for redress in the most humble terms: our repeated petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

    Nor have we been wanting in attention to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, enemies in war, in peace friends.

    We, therefore, the representatives of the United States of America, in General Congress, assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the name, and by the authority of the good people of these colonies, solemnly publish and declare, that these united colonies are, and of right ought to be free and independent states; that they are absolved from all allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the state of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as free and independent states, they have full power to levy war, conclude peace, contract alliances, establish commerce, and to do all other acts and things which independent states may of right do. And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.

    New Hampshire: Josiah Bartlett, William Whipple, Matthew Thornton

    Massachusetts: John Hancock, Samual Adams, John Adams, Robert Treat Paine, Elbridge Gerry

    Rhode Island: Stephen Hopkins, William Ellery

    Connecticut: Roger Sherman, Samuel Huntington, William Williams, Oliver Wolcott

    New York: William Floyd, Philip Livingston, Francis Lewis, Lewis Morris

    New Jersey: Richard Stockton, John Witherspoon, Francis Hopkinson, John Hart, Abraham Clark

    Pennsylvania: Robert Morris, Benjamin Rush, Benjamin Franklin, John Morton, George Clymer, James Smith, George Taylor, James Wilson, George Ross

    Delaware: Caesar Rodney, George Read, Thomas McKean

    Maryland: Samuel Chase, William Paca, Thomas Stone, Charles Carroll of Carrollton

    Virginia: George Wythe, Richard Henry Lee, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Harrison, Thomas Nelson, Jr., Francis Lightfoot Lee, Carter Braxton

    North Carolina: William Hooper, Joseph Hewes, John Penn

    South Carolina: Edward Rutledge, Thomas Heyward, Jr., Thomas Lynch, Jr., Arthur Middleton

    Georgia: Button Gwinnett, Lyman Hall, George Walton

    Source: The Pennsylvania Packet, July 8, 1776


    Happy 4th O' July Everyone!

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  37. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Diarum View Post
    Why shoot the Canadians? they are friendly. and don't forget some people from the US live in Canada.

    Anyway, this thread is hilarious.
    Last edited by Monkabit; July 5th, 2010 at 12:34 AM.

  38. #26
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    happy 4th of july

    My whole house smells like sulfur from all the fireworks.
    Last edited by jcpahl; July 5th, 2010 at 12:54 AM.

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  40. #27
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    For music, America invented the electric guitar, the electric keyboard/synthesizer/organ, jazz, blues, rock n roll, soul, r&b, hip-hop, and death metal... The thing with music, though, is that regardless of whether America was the first, chances are someone in Europe did it better.

  41. #28
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    Dear Americans!

    One word.

    Paris Hilton.

    Thank you.
    Good night.

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    Quote Originally Posted by shipwight View Post
    ... let them play in their happy paddle pool
    We can't. We filled it with oil.

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    McDonald's 2009 Corporate Responsibility Report:


    THE VALUES WE BRING TO THE TABLE:


    Safe, quality food. Affordability and convenience. A simple and enjoyable experience. Service you can count on…

    This is our business. These are things we endeavor to offer, day in and day out.

    Underlying everything we do is a foundation of values and a culture of doing the right thing. At the end of the day, responsible business is simply good business, and we’ve recognized that from the start.

    Offering value is a complex endeavor, but value and responsibility are far from oppositional terms. We firmly believe that by running our business in the most efficient manner possible, we can achieve our business, brand and responsibility goals.

    The basis for everything we do is a set of practical values that reflect how we approach achieving business success while also meeting our goal of using our size and scope to make a difference in the world.

    Our values are not just words on a page or inspirational sentiments about who we strive to be. They underlie our everyday decision-making.

    Take a look at the values we bring to the table:

    MCDONALD’S VALUES


    We place the customer experience at the core of all we do

    Our customers are the reason for our existence. We demonstrate our appreciation by providing them with high quality food and superior service, in a clean, welcoming environment, at a great value. Our goal is Quality, Service, Cleanliness & Value for each and every customer, each and every time.



    We are committed to our people

    We provide opportunity, nurture talent, develop leaders and reward achievement. We believe that a team of well-trained individuals with diverse backgrounds and experiences, working together in an environment that fosters respect and drives high levels of engagement, is essential to our continued success.



    We believe in the McDonald’s System

    McDonald’s business model, depicted by the “three-legged stool” of owner/operators, suppliers, and company employees, is our foundation, and the balance of interests among the three groups is key.



    We operate our business ethically

    Sound ethics is good business. At McDonald’s, we hold ourselves and conduct our business to high standards of fairness, honesty, and integrity. We are individually accountable and collectively responsible.



    We give back to our communities

    We take seriously the responsibilities that come with being a leader. We help our customers build better communities, support Ronald McDonald House Charities, and leverage our size, scope and resources to help make the world a better place.



    We grow our business profitably

    McDonald’s is a publicly traded company. As such, we work to provide sustained profitable growth for our shareholders. This requires a continuing focus on our customers and the health of our system.



    We strive continually to improve

    We are a learning organization that aims to anticipate and respond to changing customer, employee and system needs through constant evolution and innovation.
    In the future, everyone will have 15 minutes of privacy.

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