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Thread: Save Our Souls!

  1. #1
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    Angry Save Our Souls!

    Image Link:

    http://www.ravingsart.com/images/pictures/sos.jpg

    Critiques Please!
    (Excuse me for a bit lengthy Text)

    Save Our Souls!

    The Sun sent message to its Rays:

    "Oh my Rays!
    Since long you are exerting, in exile, in the gloomy atmospheres of the lowly, vile and ever-changing world yet unkindness of the Era is adding up. Its not easy shinning over sand particles nor I find any comfort to you roaming about there like morning breeze even."

    There is an outcry from the Rays in reply:
    "Oh Sun!
    Though 'The West' has gained access to the secrets of light and they know well importance of light in their lives yet their skies are all covered by the heavy smoke rising from their huge complexes, busy in pilling up heaps of ammunition and WMDs. Sitting over these heaps of arms, planning eternal peace for themselves at the cost of lives of poor nations, the Rulers of the west are un-slept. Further misusing God-gifted intellect & asserting their own 'New World Order' (against God's World Order) they dream reining the world and as such they ruin it per will. Though sensibly they walk on Earth yet don't see the signs of many a tyrant pharaohs gone earlier to them!

    From the recent past, in the name of their own security (terrified in fact of their own sinning acts), under the cloak of a self-derived, self-defined term 'Terrorism' these over-weening and self-acclaimed reformers of the world are casting their forces in a battle against hidden warriors. Doing so they have turned the entire globe into a battlefield making republics feel unsafe and uneasy pushing the world to a war of civilizations knowing no winner, no end.

    The story doesn't end here. Whims weigh on a whimsy hypothesis; Oh donnie Nations got WMDs! The bewailing blessed with adorned media's silly drum beat (spending Billions of Dollars which if spent on the welfare of humanity would have changed the fate of entire globe) profits them the so-called dangerous pre-emptive strike right. This comes as another tool in their dirty hands to whom killing a million lives (rendering millions injured crying on roads, "Save Our Souls!") means merely a test of their new lot of arms.

    Yet a darker rib (beyond their own estimates even) surfaces; Following them, the other Teddy Rulers of the world have also started putting lame excuses and girding up their loins against the neighbors in their armpits, harassing them trying their arms.

    We feel shy saying further Oh Sun! Covering their moral skies, there is another virtual gloom. Meeting their lecherous ends, the youth there is misusing the fair sex dethroning her of her virtuous status as sister/daughter. She also seems to be happy with the lewdness accepting it as her fate, forgetting perhaps the examplary chastity of The Holy Mary.

    We are really ashamed peeping down their Walled-n-Web which is all a representation of ruinous and nudity. Tired of sexual acts seemingly they are now consoling their eyes by nudes all around letting no moment go waste. Still a more dangerous situation is that their relished even finds no topic to express but ruinous and nudity, yet another alarming indicator of a social disorder of the society.

    And what a marvelous progress in manhood development! Their forefather claimed being Monkey's Spouse while their present lot claims achieving Donkey's peculiarities. Over joyed of their superb inventions in drugs and articles (meant for enlarging men's private parts) they are adding round the clock spam e-messages instigating men on developing their private parts like donkey's, emotionalizing innocent youngsters and discomforting elders, the world over.

    Don't ask us about 'The East', Oh Sun! Though not immune to the joy of sighting, this part of the world is silent like Lahoot (the world beyond time and space). Poor here is not free from following bread while their foolish Elite class is wasting God-gifted treasures conspiring with and calling their western Lords to fire their own populace to cover their own sins.

    To cut short, Oh Sun! Despite of our vary endeavors the world is unlit. We confess that we failed piercing such a heavy gloom caused by sinners."

    "Despite your utmost efforts to achieve your mission you could not prove to be affective 'Ambassadors', Oh my Rays!" The Sun said, "Better come 'back home' and be absorbed in my heart, the origin of brilliance, leaving the rough and ruin of the querulous cruel world to its fate."

    Portrait Technical Info:

    (H x W): 32" X 44" Year: 2003 Genre: Mysticism Style: Symbolism Technique: Oil On Canvas



    Note: If the image doesn't come up please view it here:
    [URL]http://www.ravingsa
    Last edited by mushtaq noor; March 6th, 2004 at 12:35 AM.

    If we could learn from dog how to sit at owner's door, here, we would be successful hereafter!.......Hasan Basri


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  3. #2
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    I promise to offer intelligent conversation to such well thought out words. ( even if they are attacking or honest or interesting or offensive or one sided or the like)


    heheheh

  4. #3
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    Okay...where to begin?

    First off, I think you ought to read the forum rules, as in the finished art forum, each thread must contain an image of some sort so that we may critique it. Your thread instead, is a plug for your website and prints of your work, along with a lengthy rant that reads like William Burroughs put "Naked Lunch" in a blender with the sunday newspaper and pamphlets from some guru cult swami.

    If you wanted to post this somewhere on here, a section like the "Lounge" would be a more appropriate place to plug your work.

    Also, I'd like to point out that this is a forum for concept art...abstract art of a more intuitive or non-formal nature is generally not acceptable around here. Mind you, it's not that the people here don't have an appreciation for abstract art, it's just that your work isn't particularly appropriate for the forum, given the topic matter. Take a look at the other threads in the finished forum to see what I mean...just about all of them are designs, characters, scenes, graphics, or other conceptual work.

    You need to understand that the people here are for the most part, working professional artists or art students (like myself, for example) undergoing rigorous formal training. Trumpeting the fact that you've never had a day of formal training in your life doesn't exactly impress us. (Especially given that it's very easy to tell that you've never had a day of formal training in your life from viewing your work.) Nor does launching into incoherent proselytized rambling to promote your work particularly entice us.

    If you want my opinion of your work though, I'll say this: Browsing through your site's galleries, I'd honestly say that I've seen many other far more impressive and layered works of a surrealistic or symbolic nature. Most of it seems to be rather imitative, and not particularly compelling to me. The pseudo-spiritual overtones of the pieces also seem rather desperate, convoluted, and terribly stifling thereby spoiling whatever enjoyment I might've otherwise managed to squeeze out of them.
    However, I'm not going to knock you for doing what you enjoy, even if you eschew formal training...that's your bag, and you're free to go with it.
    But I would advise that formal training should not be ignored, and would definately do you some good. For one thing, it would help you conceptualize and execute the creations of your active imagination much better on canvas...through formal training, you will not only become a genuinely better artist, but you will also be more likely be exposed to artists who will inspire you to create even more intimately personal works of art. Furthermore, a little formal training would help to give you a healthier perspective, particularly in deflating the rather unimpressive air of pretentiousness that appears to surround both you and your work, and which I am personally turned off by.

    Also, just to assure you know that I am relatively well-intentioned; some of my biggest heroes actually happen to be abstract artists. However, if some of them were to post their work here, they would likely receive critiques similar to the one I've just given to you.

    Regards,
    DanSTC
    Last edited by DanSTC; February 20th, 2004 at 03:34 AM.

  5. #4
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    here - let me help

  6. #5
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    Yes, thanks for moving the thread.
    Art student
    ~Livin' large at Watts Atelier.

  7. #6
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    Reply to comments by DanSTC

    Hello DanSTC,

    Thanks for your brimful reply responding my message "Save Our Souls!".

    I don't think the scope of such a forum is limited, as you say, nor all others, I feel, could be bound to gauge themselves to your mindset. Wasn't there any material of concept in this message to be commented upon; That biased you dragged yourself to choose to bombard Ravingsart leaving the topic under discussion aside, forgetting the pain story of the day!

    Though you spared quite a few of your precious time to come out with a long note, I have yet to say; Had you spent a few moments to go through Artist Statement and Guestbook there at the Ravingsart Site, I am sure, you would have not grumbled as such.

    I don't claim being great Artist nor I say I cover the Artworld skies, at the same time I am of the opinion; Had you seen the portrait texts without coloured goggles and not being pushed compulsarily add word weaponry "against", you also would have gained a bit like many others.

    I would, however, thank you at the same time for your constructive comments, approaching end of your reply. You are the first to criticise it technically too and I have noted down a few tips out of it which would definitely help me.

    Without touching details on how I enter canvas, I personally have a push from inside to leave the brush free wothout caring much of figure outlines of aimed finishes, but still I have not been able to get out of this shell, perhaps because its my first experience. And may be in the coming days (if I am overcome by my kins) I leave painting or (if I prevail upon) I continue and then I will have to go more abstract...far from figuratives.

    Truly speaking my works are to provide a support to the messages from innate and for arriving at a support for my message I have to look around in the material world for
    materials to carry them, suiting more to the needs of my inner feelings, while you are tracking the same to be immitativeness.

    Whatever one does he is responsible for his deeds and no harm in saying harsh Truth, for positive ends, none would mind that.

    In the end I would like to thank you for your corrective critices, lengthy note throwing light on present presentations and more thanks for throwing light on the path to proceed further.

    Regards,
    Noor
    Last edited by mushtaq noor; March 3rd, 2004 at 01:34 AM.

    If we could learn from dog how to sit at owner's door, here, we would be successful hereafter!.......Hasan Basri

  8. #7
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    I have some advice: learn to speak (write) english in a manner such that most people will be able to understand what the hell it is that you are trying to say. Sprinkling your broken english with unintelligible pseudo-mystical phrases really isn't helping you out. Try making sentences using simple words and sentence structures before you start throwing around words whose meaning you dont fully understand.

    Secondly, what is your purpose in posting here at these boards? Most (most) people post their art for one of two reasons:
    a) to gain critique from competent artists so that they may improve their skills
    b) to post art that serves some sort of instructional purpose for the other artists in the board

    You don't seem to belong to either group.
    ...so what if i'm bored, and ordinary?...

    currently playing: Super Mario 64 DS, ICO (grrrr....)

  9. #8
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    The image link doesn't work.

    "HTTP1.1 STATUS 403 Remote Access to this object forbidden This file cannot be directly accessed from a remote site, but must be linked through the Brinkster Member's site."

  10. #9
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    Originally posted by nil
    I have some advice: learn to speak (write) english in a manner such that most people will be able to understand what the hell it is that you are trying to say. Sprinkling your broken english with unintelligible pseudo-mystical phrases really isn't helping you out. Try making sentences using simple words and sentence structures before you start throwing around words whose meaning you dont fully understand.
    ^what he said.
    You ask any good writer, and he will tell you: Write simply and cut the crap. To be honest, it doesnt make you look that much more intelligent Your not really going to get far with sentences like:

    And what a marvelous progress in manhood development! Their forefather claimed being Monkey's Spouse; Proving him wrong, contrarily, they have made superb achievements reclaiming Donkey's peculiarities, of which round the clock stupid spam outflow, instigating men achieve Donkey Private Parts, emotionalizing innocent youngsters, discomforting elders and deteriorating the other cultured societies, speaks of.
    It took me a good three tries to even partly understand it.
    Sketch Book
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    Quote Originally Posted by dogfood
    Sarcasm sometimes grips me like an octopus helmet.

  11. #10
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    Rectifications (Save Our Souls!")

    Hello Gentlemen,

    I am sorry for certain grammatic mistakes in the Text
    of message "Save Our Souls!". This all occured making the story as short n brief as possible. The same is now reshaped n hope there are no mistakes now. We can, however, never claim tht, as its not our mother tongue!

    Sorry for inconveniences at the readers end.

    Mushtaq Noor

    If we could learn from dog how to sit at owner's door, here, we would be successful hereafter!.......Hasan Basri

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