I can kind of read it through the expression in her eyes/brows, but the problems in the rendering take away from the likeness. For an example, the far side of her face is reading as closer to the near side, so the entire left side of her face (our right) feels flat and awkward.
Well, that and Jin would never let her wear a neckline that low. Trying to push the likeness a bit more, why not change the vneck to one with buttons at the top and just leave one unbuttoned. Bring some of the character into the art.
Unless you were going for the actor and not the character.
I would say your biggest problem is needing to keep the face in perspective. In the first piece, the eyes and mouth feel like they are aimed right at us, while the nose and head are slightly turned. In the 2nd one the nose and mouth feel like they are at a skewed angle... and I don't think that resembles her nose.
Again, I can kind of see it... but the likeness isn't completely there yet.
You switched out the original image in the first post to the latest version. Since we can't see the original, I think byakko is assuming that the file attached to the first post is the first attempt at the likeness. Maybe put all likeness in one image so we can see the progression.
It may just be me, but I've been staring at this last one for a few minutes (mostly because of the facial hair, it looks really nice.), but it seems that his mouth is slightly off center and pointing in a different direction then the rest of the face.