Results 1 to 9 of 9
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    9
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts

    Piece of Music I wrote

    Hi. I'm Phillip Lober. I am a young composer (15 years old) and right now I am scoring a fan created project. I recently did this (click play hi-fi)

    Criticism?


  2. Hide this ad by registering as a member
  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Nusua For This Useful Post:


  4. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    2,116
    Thanks
    2,539
    Thanked 1,331 Times in 1,015 Posts
    its interesting reminds me of avatar, when the song started to pick up allot of the sounds felt out of place and it lost rhythm. Better then i can do though thats for sure, good song.

  5. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    9
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts
    Some moments lost rythm on purpose because it was supposed to be a tribal piece, and tribes usually aren't in tempo.

    This isn't my best work, just recent.

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    burning swamp, FL
    Posts
    618
    Thanks
    167
    Thanked 319 Times in 125 Posts
    hey phillip, it is a nice piece! it definitely has an adventurous vibe to it. I think the strings in the lead in could be less abrupt. IMO, overall the production is pretty good - needs some EQ work mainly when the piece begins to get going it feels a bit muddy and heavy on the low end. I think the main body of the song could use some heavy cymbal crash to really get the blood going but that could be preference. the last third of the song the violins sound a bit dry when juxtaposed against the expansiveness of those big strings. I believe Krato made a good point- that slight off tempo stutter in the percussion detracts more than adds to the feel of the piece. Mainly because right about when you notice it and begin to ride with it- it deviates. This would not be as much of a deal if you were making a purely tribal piece with no western influence. I don;t think it fits well with the structured nature of the rest of the composition./2 cents
    Keep it up though you're on your way that's for sure.

    side note-you seem to already be a little defensive - try not to be -

  7. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    9
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts
    What are you dumb I'M NOT DEFENSIVE!! (that's a joke, haha)!

    Nah, I love criticism. It's just that I didn't have enough time to say so, and I wanted to state some facts. I can certainly see why you would think so, though. Thanks for the advice, guys

  8. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    SAHN DEEAHGO
    Posts
    2,919
    Thanks
    5,576
    Thanked 841 Times in 315 Posts
    Like Krato said, this has a strong "Avatar" feel. Very cool and well-made piece. I don't really agree with the other posters about the percussion. The slightly off-tempo parts were very subtle, and I didn't notice them until I read the other comments and really listened closely. I do agree, though, that the violins were the weak link in this. They sounded the most MIDI-ish out of all the instruments. By the way, what did you use to make this? I write a lot of songs in plain old MIDI, and would love to try out something with higher quality sounds.

  9. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    105
    Thanks
    47
    Thanked 43 Times in 13 Posts
    Holy damn, someone besides me is making music on CA!? YES. I can't listen to this yet as my roommate is asleep and I left my headphones at work, but I'll check this out as soon as I can.

  10. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    105
    Thanks
    47
    Thanked 43 Times in 13 Posts
    Sorry to reply so late. I finally listened to it, and I was very surprised! Much better than I expected, very well done.

  11. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    San Francisco
    Posts
    4,537
    Thanks
    2,304
    Thanked 2,121 Times in 870 Posts

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 17
    Last Post: December 22nd, 2010, 10:32 PM
  2. NPR Wrote About Art Ed!
    By TASmith in forum Artist Lounge
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: June 18th, 2009, 04:33 PM
  3. why davinci wrote backwards?
    By grenappels in forum Artist Lounge
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: September 3rd, 2008, 11:39 PM
  4. Art: My latest piece of music .....!
    By tavi in forum Finished Art
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: May 15th, 2005, 03:10 PM

Members who have read this thread: 0

There are no members to list at the moment.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Designed by The Coldest Water, we build the coldest best water bottles, ice packs and best pillows.