Starting today I am going to attempt to regain my life and beat several of my addictions. The two that I will be targeting are my addictions to the Internet and to (online) shopping.
Over the past few years I have become increasingly dependent upon the Internet, to the point were I spend on average hundreds of hours a week on the computer. As a result, there have been a multitude of negative consequences. I barely draw anymore, I practically never read, my social life has literally disintegrated, and my grades and school work have plummeted. All of these are a direct result of my compulsive Internet usage. Instead of doing things that exercise my brain, and things that I used to enjoy extremely much, I waste my life doing utter bullshit on the Internet. My life has been rotting away in front of my eyes.
Through my Internet addiction I have developed many limiting neuroses, the biggest of which is a general fear of human contact. In order to counteract this, I will delete my Facebook account and limit my time spent on the Internet to only one hour a day. This means that I will not spend very much time on this website, or any other. I have even disabled Internet connection on my computer.
I feel that as a result my depression will lighten significantly, and I will hopefully regain purpose in my, essentially, hopeless life.
The second addiction, shopping, more specifically the obsessive consumption of records and CDs, is perhaps more potent as it has significantly impacted the lives of others. I have purchased many records, mostly with borrowed, pocketed, or outright taken money in order to fulfill my need to collect more and more music. I owe my parents hundreds, perhaps even thousands of dollars, and I am at a point where I feel essentially no joy from buying records. Any money that comes into my possession, I spend on records, despite my enormous debt, and I have even gone to the point of not eating in order to spend my lunch money on more music. This contributes to my overall regret when buying music and I feel horrible about my debt to my parents.
When I first started collecting CDs, and eventually records, it was a really big deal when I would buy a new item. It was something that gave a huge amount of joy. When other joy in my life started to decrease, I started buying more and more music because, at that time, it still gave me a lot of pleasure. Now I'm at a point where I don't even normally enjoying buying music, in fact most of the time it's met with remorse. I'm just "doing it" as much as possible to try to "get a high" off of it. It's no different than if I was into crack... I buy records to compromise for what I don't have in life. I love the music and I love records, but I don't kneed to buy as many as I do.
Both of these are true addictions, things that I long to continue and yet serve no benefit upon my life. I hope that you will help me beat both of them.
To my foreign friends, you may contact me via email (of which I will also greatly limit my time) at info @ kobrinkustoms . com (no spaces) or even by phone at [USA dialing code] - (415) - 686 - 7972. In fact, I would encourage you contact me by phone because my extreme discomfort of communicating via telephone is one of the neuroses I have developed over the past few years.