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  1. #31
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    Deleting . . .
    Last edited by Jeremy Ray; June 9th, 2013 at 02:02 AM.


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  3. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tony Wallace View Post
    As for the bubbles, I think the shape is pretty unique and cool looking. But it's still really hard to read.

    Thanks for the advice.

    Do you mean the shape of the bubbles makes it hard to read, or the font is hard to read?

  4. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack the R View Post
    Thanks for the advice.

    Do you mean the shape of the bubbles makes it hard to read, or the font is hard to read?
    Sorry, the font, color saturation or some combination therein (makes it hard to read). My only thought on the shape is because it's used pretty universally throughout the comic so far, it's hard to tell who's talking. Using different shapes for each speaker or group could help, I think.

    110 pages is a crazy long creation myth too. The garden of Eden segment of Genesis isn't even close to that.

    Let's see... as for the serpent devouring it's tail representation, you can find examples all through history and various cultures of it. You might consider just doing several different serpent/circles using different cultural stylings, and sort of overlay the images at different sizes angles and opacities to represent the passage of eras (making the circles themselves form sort of a bending tunnel, if that makes sense).

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  6. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tony Wallace View Post
    Sorry, the font, color saturation or some combination therein (makes it hard to read). My only thought on the shape is because it's used pretty universally throughout the comic so far, it's hard to tell who's talking. Using different shapes for each speaker or group could help, I think.
    O.K., I agree with that. More shapes.


    Quote Originally Posted by Tony Wallace View Post
    Let's see... as for the serpent devouring it's tail representation, you can find examples all through history and various cultures of it. You might consider just doing several different serpent/circles using different cultural stylings, and sort of overlay the images at different sizes angles and opacities to represent the passage of eras (making the circles themselves form sort of a bending tunnel, if that makes sense).
    I was thinking of making it more streamlined and science fictioney, but let's first decide if the basic idea is functional and readable.

    I may have to lay out the next page . . .

  7. #35
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    Deleting . . .
    Last edited by Jeremy Ray; June 9th, 2013 at 02:03 AM.

  8. #36
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    I wonder if hitting those successive symbols with some radial blur would create a stronger sense of time/movement. Right now, the "One Thousand Years Earlier" certainly does the trick, but the clock idea isn't coming across as strongly to me.

  9. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tony Wallace View Post
    I wonder if hitting those successive symbols with some radial blur would create a stronger sense of time/movement.
    I think that might be a really good idea to try out. You spoke about the "functionality of the Snake Clock" and I am assuming this is something that will occur regularly throughout the story. Even if it only occurs once I would urge you to begin to think of the amount of panels that will be taken up with the same thing to get the point of it moving around in a spiral. I like the outcome and it works out surprisingly well, but it just takes too many panels. It's my understanding that story telling should be as concise as possible to keep reader interest up, to tell the story more efficiently, etc. You should, in my opinion, try different things out to help out with that. See what happens with the radial blur, try using just 3 panels and see if you get the same effect, etc., etc.

    I think it's a realistic goal to get your point across in the amount of space it takes for that top landscape format panel.
    Last edited by Quigleyer; February 14th, 2010 at 02:53 PM.
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  10. #38
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    Deleting . . .
    Last edited by Jeremy Ray; June 9th, 2013 at 02:03 AM.

  11. #39
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    Last edited by Jeremy Ray; June 9th, 2013 at 02:04 AM.

  12. #40
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    Deleting . . .
    Last edited by Jeremy Ray; June 9th, 2013 at 02:04 AM.

  13. #41
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    I really like the last panel in this last post. The bubbles no longer strain the eyes and the clock looks great.

    ~Anthony

  14. #42
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    Last edited by Jeremy Ray; June 9th, 2013 at 02:00 AM.

  15. #43
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    The font is looking LOADS better.

  16. #44
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    The clock is reading much more movement to it as well. One thing that's sort of standing out to me, in the frames where the girl's face peels away and reforms, is she feeling that? Because she looks more frightened and concerned than agonized.

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    Deleting . . .
    Last edited by Jeremy Ray; June 9th, 2013 at 02:00 AM.

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