noob wants advice
 
View testimonialsView Artwork
Results 1 to 12 of 12
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Belgium
    Posts
    64
    Thanks
    22
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0

    Wasp noob wants advice

    o hai, I'm sorry I'v been absent, I'v had a pretty downer in life so I vanished.
    I'll try to make a comeback with this post.

    --
    Its a picture thats actually 'finished' in some status but if I might be honest ... its missing something and its like I can't find it.
    I have this feeling with pretty much -every thing- I draw .
    Any advice would be great ty all.

    srry I had to shrink it to forum size
    http://img686.imageshack.us/img686/2...flyinghigh.jpg

    Attached Images Attached Images  
    time to get drilled.

    http://www.conceptart.org/forums/sho...02#post1551002

    break me down, build me back up. I'd love you for ever.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote


  2. Hide this ad by registering as a member
  3. #2
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Hell
    Posts
    591
    Thanks
    23
    Thanked 205 Times in 121 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    To be honest, I like this image. But I dont yet LOVE it.
    Lets review_ I feel the background is top-notch, regardless of shape or form, it creates a palpable sense of scale and space, with some nice colours and textures for good measure.
    The creature, im less enamoured by. The beast itself is a fairly nice piece of design, the colours are good (while the red does tend to clash a bit) and the rendering itself is decent. But decent isnt excellent.
    Try going in close and defining some of the muscular structure, especially around the
    legs and snout. This seems to be a rather vicious looking creature, so I will take a wild
    guess and say its probably heavily muscled. In which case we should SEE that muscle
    buckling, folding, pulling, tightening etc. Around the snout we should see wrinkles and taut muscles as the mouth pulls open. With biting power like that, it should be something along these lines:
    noob wants advice
    Observe especially how the whole snout pulls back and we see not only taut muscles but wrinkled folds of skin. The teeth and raw gums should be exposed as the lips pull back, letting us see the full set.
    The legs, especially that leaping front pair, should be written with creases and tendons. Something like this:
    noob wants advice
    I understand the hound in question is merely standing, but its rather knobbly limbs give us a fine view of all those ripcord whiplash muscles.
    I could go on the cover the wings, chest etc. In summary, the beast is far too flat and perfect. Layer its body with shadows to delineate the muscles he deserves, so fine and royal a beast is he.
    Can I name it? If you are pleased, it is the Royal Jovian Griffin.

    CRITIQUE AS YOU WOULD BE CRITIQUED
    http://conceptart.org/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=59
    THE ABOVE LINK IS ALL YOU NEED

    http://www.conceptart.org/forums/sho...d.php?t=200044 <- Sketchbook - filled with unhappy things.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  4. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Mordus For This Useful Post:


  5. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Belgium
    Posts
    64
    Thanks
    22
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    the 'I like it but don't love it' actually sums up that feeling. friends love my art but for another bypasser on the digital galleries I'm just another person that draws 'pwetty pictures' to be forgotten after they click 'next->'


    You have no idea how happy this comment made me, she originated from a rat while making her more mainstream, and I didn't notice to what refs I should be using, yeah blind much by drawing her too many times and not thinking about it >_<

    Shes not 'really' a wolf but I get your point, there indeed isn't much muscle rendering going on, her body is flat, and by the looks of the length of her fur I could very well learn from the wolfs! I'm not really sure about her head, since she came from a rat, recently with dog teeth, I think it might be better to go back to referencing from rat pictures. actually I think I'm going back to the drawing board for that, but in the meanwhile I'll try to fix her head with what you said

    -right click save- on the dog picture, he might be just standing there but his muscles are showing allot better then the refs I used to use.

    "I could go on the cover the wings, chest etc. In summary, the beast is far too flat and perfect. Layer its body with shadows to delineate the muscles he deserves, so fine and royal a beast is he."

    I will do exactly that, again thank you so much for your help and I'll get working asap and reposting! I'll also get more shortfurred dog pictures indeed

    "Can I name it? If you are pleased, it is the Royal Jovian Griffin. "
    theeeheee thats neath thanks xD


    time to get drilled.

    http://www.conceptart.org/forums/sho...02#post1551002

    break me down, build me back up. I'd love you for ever.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Michigan =(
    Posts
    25
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 8 Times in 8 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Well Mordus pretty much covered everything i was going to say, except for one.

    The creature is in flight, and therefore is assumed to be moving. The background is excellent, it shows movement and energy, yet the creature just seems to be floating there and thus creates a clash between the background and the subject.

    I think making the two more in sync, by adding motion to the creature would help add that 'oomp'

    But if that's not the point of this picture, then please disregard everything i just said XD

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to Tritium For This Useful Post:


  8. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Belgium
    Posts
    64
    Thanks
    22
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Tritium View Post
    Well Mordus pretty much covered everything i was going to say, except for one.

    The creature is in flight, and therefore is assumed to be moving. The background is excellent, it shows movement and energy, yet the creature just seems to be floating there and thus creates a clash between the background and the subject.

    I think making the two more in sync, by adding motion to the creature would help add that 'oomp'

    But if that's not the point of this picture, then please disregard everything i just said XD
    Good point, I'm not sure how ... the only thing thats been bothering from the start is the tailfluff. I'm not sure but I -think- that might be why. I'll change it and w'll see if that was the movement part ;D

    Thank you greatly for your input !

    EDIT: scrap that I'm gonne redo the whole tail , I think bolth the curve and the fluff is wrong :o

    Last edited by SpaceRogue; December 17th, 2009 at 03:46 PM. Reason: new idea
    time to get drilled.

    http://www.conceptart.org/forums/sho...02#post1551002

    break me down, build me back up. I'd love you for ever.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  9. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Northern California
    Posts
    5,234
    Thanks
    3,512
    Thanked 4,906 Times in 2,547 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    I'll try to be concise:

    Cool creature design but poorly rendered - or rendered in flat, cel manner anyway (if that's what you're after then it's fine).

    There is a strong sense of light in the environment but none on the creature. The "rim light" all around doesn't make sense. The background is extremely warm - which tends to flatten the image - warm colors advance - cool colors recede.

    All of the action/direction is sweeping the viwer right off the lower left corner - try reversing the background for a dynamic, countering design.

    Also the POV seems odd - I assume we're above looking down as the creature is banking in flight? He seems to just be enjoying flying - which is ok - but it might add some interest if he was chasing something - a small prey creature - a feather in the wind, etc. Check out Wayne Barlowe for perhaps the best guy at creatures doing interesing/natural stuff - or Riene Poortvliet - or James Gurney. In fact, get Jame's new book "Imaginitive Realsim".

    Hope it helps!

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to JeffX99 For This Useful Post:


  11. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    577
    Thanks
    506
    Thanked 645 Times in 232 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    I think the only think that's really standing out, is the fact that the environment is super saturated and still doesn't seem to have any effect on the whites of the dragon.In fact the whites look really desaturated, like b/w pencil shading that hasn't been colored yet.

    Sorry about the paintover, it's the only way I could explain. I'll take it off if you don't want it It is really quick but it should make more sense than my words do.


    Name:  dragonPaintover.jpg
Views: 312
Size:  67.3 KB

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to Iridyse For This Useful Post:


  13. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Belgium
    Posts
    64
    Thanks
    22
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    owe good think I came home to late to start reworking :3

    Quote Originally Posted by JeffX99 View Post
    I'll try to be concise:

    Cool creature design but poorly rendered - or rendered in flat, cel manner anyway (if that's what you're after then it's fine).

    There is a strong sense of light in the environment but none on the creature. The "rim light" all around doesn't make sense. The background is extremely warm - which tends to flatten the image - warm colors advance - cool colors recede.

    All of the action/direction is sweeping the viwer right off the lower left corner - try reversing the background for a dynamic, countering design.

    Also the POV seems odd - I assume we're above looking down as the creature is banking in flight? He seems to just be enjoying flying - which is ok - but it might add some interest if he was chasing something - a small prey creature - a feather in the wind, etc. Check out Wayne Barlowe for perhaps the best guy at creatures doing interesing/natural stuff - or Riene Poortvliet - or James Gurney. In fact, get Jame's new book "Imaginitive Realsim".

    Hope it helps!
    It does much yes thankyou ! I'll especial try the revers clouds and the chase part (rofl inspiration for a next work perhaps)


    Quote Originally Posted by Iridyse View Post
    I think the only think that's really standing out, is the fact that the environment is super saturated and still doesn't seem to have any effect on the whites of the dragon.In fact the whites look really desaturated, like b/w pencil shading that hasn't been colored yet.

    Sorry about the paintover, it's the only way I could explain. I'll take it off if you don't want it It is really quick but it should make more sense than my words do.


    Name:  dragonPaintover.jpg
Views: 312
Size:  67.3 KB
    WHAAA THATS AWESOME O_O

    That proves I'm to scared with my colors ahaaaaaa! I didn't want to hurt the white and make her orange, now I have the feeling that if I had done that it would at least be more 'into' the background D:

    mk i'll be back with a result, hopefully before tomarrow

    time to get drilled.

    http://www.conceptart.org/forums/sho...02#post1551002

    break me down, build me back up. I'd love you for ever.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  14. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Northern California
    Posts
    5,234
    Thanks
    3,512
    Thanked 4,906 Times in 2,547 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Glad it helped - nice paintover too, Iridyse. Maybe it's just me but the clouds were reading to me like sand dunes - which is why I assumed the POV was above looking down on the creature as it banks sideways over a desert. So I would suggest gathering some good sky/cloud reference - you can still push the colors but the textures, edges and forms read as too solid right now.

    Good luck - looking forward to seeing the next piece!

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  15. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Belgium
    Posts
    64
    Thanks
    22
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0

    Smile

    yeah I'v been thinking about just doing clouds again via tutorials and then moving on to refs based :s

    next to that I'm thinking of permanently going to use Photoshop for colors, it must be me but I can't detail in OpenCanvas for life (but it bleeeeeeend so nice and painty ) . however the lineart done in PS looks dead to me so I'll keep OC for that....

    I'm going to bed but for now;
    this time in photoshop, either way compression kills fur but that'll teach me for the next time
    noob wants advice

    time to get drilled.

    http://www.conceptart.org/forums/sho...02#post1551002

    break me down, build me back up. I'd love you for ever.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  16. #11
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    23
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    I did a tiny bit of redlining. I think that the little prey animal is a little small and too dark. It looks like it's another dragon farther away. Also, the dragon is looking up, as far as I can tell, so it doesn't look like it's seeing the little animal. Having the prey directly in front of it breaks the flow. I think the prey would tie into the picture a lot better if it followed the same flow as the dragon.

    noob wants advice

    Otherwise, absolutely gorgeous. I love the lighting and paintery look to the clouds. The texture is great too.

    Last edited by WhiteWingedDemon; December 18th, 2009 at 10:24 PM.
    I bite
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  17. The Following User Says Thank You to WhiteWingedDemon For This Useful Post:


  18. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Belgium
    Posts
    64
    Thanks
    22
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    hmmm very good point about the critter looking like a distant dragon ! I'll get on it after my chores ;D

    time to get drilled.

    http://www.conceptart.org/forums/sho...02#post1551002

    break me down, build me back up. I'd love you for ever.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

Members who have read this thread: 0

There are no members to list at the moment.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
  • 424,149 Artists
  • 3,599,276 Artist Posts
  • 32,941 Sketchbooks
  • 54 New Art Jobs
Art Workshop Discount Inside
Register

Developed Actively by vBSocial.com
The Art Department
SpringOfSea's Sketchbook